J*******g 发帖数: 8775 | 1 十九
我童年时可怜地躺在这些风尚的门口,那里是我鏖战的沙场,那里我更怕违犯文法,不
怕因自己犯文字错误而妒忌不犯错误的人。
我的天主,我向你诉说以往种种,并向你忏悔我当时获得赞扬的往事,而当时我的生活
标准便是使那些称道我的人满意,我尚未看出垢污的深渊,“我失足于其中,远远离开
了你的双目”。[38]
在你眼中还有什么人比我更恶劣呢?由于我耽于嬉游,欢喜看戏,看了又急于依样葫芦
去模仿,撒了无数的谎,欺骗伴读的家人,欺骗教师与父母,甚至连那些称道我的人也
讨厌我。我还从父母的伙食间中,从餐桌上偷东西吃,以满足我口腹之欲,或以此收买
其他儿童从事彼此都喜爱的游戏。在游戏中,我甚至挟持了求胜的虚荣心,住往占夺了
欺骗的胜利。但假如我发现别人用此伎俩,那我绝不容忍,便疾言厉色地重重责备,相
反,我若被人发觉而向我交涉时,却宁愿饱以老拳,不肯退让。
这是儿童的天真吗?不是,主,不是,请许我如此说,我的天主。因为就是这一切,从
对伴读家人、老师,对胡桃、弹子、麻雀是如此,进而至于对官长、君主,对黄金、土
地、奴隶也就如此;随着年龄一年一年伸展,一如戒尺之后继之以更重的刑具。
因此谦逊的征象仅存于儿童的娇弱:我们的君主啊,你说:“天国属于此类”,[39]即
是此意。
[38] 见《诗篇》30首23节。
[39] 见《马太福音》19章,14节。
CHAPTER XIX
31. However, O Lord, to thee most excellent and most good, thou
Architect and Governor of the universe, thanks would be due thee, O our God
, even if thou hadst not willed that I should survive my boyhood. For I
existed even then; I lived and felt and was solicitous about my
own well-being--a trace of that most mysterious unity from whence I had my
being. I kept watch, by my inner sense, over the integrity of my
outer senses, and even in these trifles and also in my thoughts about
trifles, I learned to take pleasure in truth. I was averse to being
deceived; I had a vigorous memory; I was gifted with the power of
speech, was softened by friendship, shunned sorrow, meanness,
ignorance. Is not such an animated creature as this wonderful and
praiseworthy? But all these are gifts of my God; I did not give them to
myself. Moreover, they are good, and they all together constitute
myself. Good, then, is he that made me, and he is my God; and before him
will I rejoice exceedingly for every good gift which, even as a boy, I had
. But herein lay my sin, that it was not in him, but in his creatures--
myself and the rest--that I sought for pleasures, honors, and truths. And I
fell thereby into sorrows, troubles, and errors. Thanks be to thee,
my joy, my pride, my confidence, my God--thanks be to thee for thy gifts;
but do thou preserve them in me. For thus wilt thou preserve me; and those
things which thou hast given me shall be developed and perfected, and I
myself shall be with thee, for from thee is my being. | J*******g 发帖数: 8775 | 2 “在游戏中,我甚至挟持了求胜的虚荣心,住往占夺了欺骗的胜利。但假如我发现别人
用此伎俩,那我绝不容忍,便疾言厉色地重重责备,相反,我若被人发觉而向我交涉时
,却宁愿饱以老拳,不肯退让。”
【在 J*******g 的大作中提到】 : 十九 : 我童年时可怜地躺在这些风尚的门口,那里是我鏖战的沙场,那里我更怕违犯文法,不 : 怕因自己犯文字错误而妒忌不犯错误的人。 : 我的天主,我向你诉说以往种种,并向你忏悔我当时获得赞扬的往事,而当时我的生活 : 标准便是使那些称道我的人满意,我尚未看出垢污的深渊,“我失足于其中,远远离开 : 了你的双目”。[38] : 在你眼中还有什么人比我更恶劣呢?由于我耽于嬉游,欢喜看戏,看了又急于依样葫芦 : 去模仿,撒了无数的谎,欺骗伴读的家人,欺骗教师与父母,甚至连那些称道我的人也 : 讨厌我。我还从父母的伙食间中,从餐桌上偷东西吃,以满足我口腹之欲,或以此收买 : 其他儿童从事彼此都喜爱的游戏。在游戏中,我甚至挟持了求胜的虚荣心,住往占夺了
| c*******u 发帖数: 640 | | J*******g 发帖数: 8775 | 4 “这是儿童的天真吗?不是,主,不是,请许我如此说,我的天主。”
【在 J*******g 的大作中提到】 : 十九 : 我童年时可怜地躺在这些风尚的门口,那里是我鏖战的沙场,那里我更怕违犯文法,不 : 怕因自己犯文字错误而妒忌不犯错误的人。 : 我的天主,我向你诉说以往种种,并向你忏悔我当时获得赞扬的往事,而当时我的生活 : 标准便是使那些称道我的人满意,我尚未看出垢污的深渊,“我失足于其中,远远离开 : 了你的双目”。[38] : 在你眼中还有什么人比我更恶劣呢?由于我耽于嬉游,欢喜看戏,看了又急于依样葫芦 : 去模仿,撒了无数的谎,欺骗伴读的家人,欺骗教师与父母,甚至连那些称道我的人也 : 讨厌我。我还从父母的伙食间中,从餐桌上偷东西吃,以满足我口腹之欲,或以此收买 : 其他儿童从事彼此都喜爱的游戏。在游戏中,我甚至挟持了求胜的虚荣心,住往占夺了
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