J*******g
发帖数: 8775 | 1 十八
当时教我奉为模范的是那些谈到自己的常事时因措词不善或文法错误而受到讥评，便深
感惭愧，演述自己的轻薄行径时却有伦有脊、情文相生、淋漓尽致，受到人家称赞而引
以自豪的人。我堕入虚浮之中离开了你，又何足为奇？
主，你是种种觑得明白，但默而不言，你真是“能忍的，慈祥而真实的”。[33]但你是
否始终沉默呢？现在我的灵魂追求你、渴望你的甘饴，我的心灵向你说：“我已追寻你
的容光，主，我还将追寻你的容光”，[34]因为处于情欲的暗影之中，就远离你的容光
；你便把我从不测深渊中挽救出来。离开你或重新趋向你身畔，不是在双足的步履上，
也不是在空间的距离上。你的次子，是否跨马或乘车搭船，或生了双翅而飞行，或徒步
而去，别居于辽远的地区，挥霍你在临行时所给他的财物？[35]你是一位温良的父亲，
你给他财物；等他贫无立锥而回家时，你更是温良。因此，都是由于纵情恣欲才陷入黑
暗，才远离你的容光。
主、天主，请你看、请你和经常一样耐心地看：人的子孙多么留心遵守前人说话时通行
的有关文字字母的规律，却忽视你所传授的有关永生的永恒规律；以致一个通晓或教授
读音规则的人，如果违反文法，把带有气音的homo[36]读成没有气音的omo，比起自身
为人，违反你的命令而仇视他人，更使人不快。这无异认为仇人本身比我憎恨仇人的怨
毒之心更有害于我，或以打击别人而加给别人的损伤过于本身因仇视别人而内心所受的
损伤。在我们心中，学问知识镌刻得一定不比“己所不欲，勿施于人”的良知更深。
天主，唯一的伟大者，你深邃静穆地高居天上，你用永行不废的法律对违反者撒下惩罚
性的愚昧：一个人，在群众围绕之中，当法官之前，热狂地企求雄辩的声誉，怀着最不
人道的怨毒攻击仇人的时候，小心翼翼地注意着不要一时失口，说出“interomines”
，[37]但绝不想到，由于内心的怒火，能把一个人从人群中剔出去。
[33] 见《诗篇》102首8节；85首15节。
[34] 同上，26首8节。
[35] 用《新约·路加福音》15章荡子回头的比喻。
[36] 按homo拉丁文义为人。
[37] 按omines字首漏去吐气音H；“interhomines”义为“在人们中间”。
CHAPTER XVIII
28. But it was no wonder that I was thus carried toward vanity and was
estranged from thee, O my God, when men were held up as models to me who,
when relating a deed of theirs--not in itself evil--were covered with
confusion if found guilty of a barbarism or a solecism; but who could tell
of their own licentiousness and be applauded for it, so long as they did it
in a full and ornate oration of well-chosen words. Thou seest all this, O
Lord, and dost keep silence--“long-suffering, and plenteous in mercy and
truth”as thou art. Wilt thou keep silence forever? Even now thou drawest
from that vast deep the soul that seeks thee and thirsts after thy delight,
whose “heart said unto thee, ‘I have sought thy face; thy face, Lord, will
I seek.’“ For I was far from thy face in the dark shadows of passion. For
it is not by our feet, nor by change of place, that we either turn from
thee or return to thee. That younger son did not charter horses or chariots,
or ships, or fly away on visible wings, or journey by walking so that in
the far country he might prodigally waste all that thou didst give him when
he set out. 36 A kind Father when thou gavest; and kinder still when he
returned destitute! To be wanton, that is to say, to be darkened in heart--
this is to be far from thy face.
29. Look down, O Lord God, and see patiently, as thou art wont to do, how
diligently the sons of men observe the conventional rules of letters and
syllables, taught them by those who learned their letters beforehand, while
they neglect the eternal rules of everlasting salvation taught by thee. They
carry it so far that if he who practices or teaches the established rules
of pronunciation should speak (contrary to grammatical usage) without
aspirating the first syllable of “hominem” [“ominem,” and thus make it
“a ‘uman being”], he will offend men more than if he, a human being, were
to hate another human being contrary to thy commandments. It is as if he
should feel that there is an enemy who could be more destructive to himself
than that hatred which excites him against his fellow man; or that he could
destroy him whom he hates more completely than he destroys his own soul by
this same hatred. Now, obviously, there is no knowledge of letters more
innate than the writing of conscience--against doing unto another what one
would not have done to himself.
How mysterious thou art, who “dwellest on high” in silence. O thou, the
only great God, who by an unwearied law hurlest down the penalty of
blindness to unlawful desire! When a man seeking the reputation of eloquence
stands before a human judge, while a thronging multitude surrounds him, and
inveighs against his enemy with the most fierce hatred, he takes most
vigilant heed that his tongue does not slip in a grammatical error, for
example, and say inter hominibus [instead of inter homines], but he takes no
heed lest, in the fury of his spirit, he cut off a man from his fellow men
[ex hominibus].
30. These were the customs in the midst of which I was cast, an unhappy boy.
This was the wrestling arena in which I was more fearful of perpetrating a
barbarism than, having done so, of envying those who had not. These things I
declare and confess to thee, my God. I was applauded by those whom I then
thought it my whole duty to please, for I did not perceive the gulf of
infamy wherein I was cast away from thy eyes.
For in thy eyes, what was more infamous than I was already, since I
displeased even my own kind and deceived, with endless lies, my tutor, my
masters and parents--all from a love of play, a craving for frivolous
spectacles, a stage-struck restlessness to imitate what I saw in these shows
? I pilfered from my parents’ cellar and table, sometimes driven by
gluttony, sometimes just to have something to give to other boys in exchange
for their baubles, which they were prepared to sell even though they liked
them as well as I. Moreover, in this kind of play, I often sought dishonest
victories, being myself conquered by the vain desire for pre-eminence. And
what was I so unwilling to endure, and what was it that I censured so
violently when I caught anyone, except the very things I did to others? And,
when I was myself detected and censured, I preferred to quarrel rather than
to yield. Is this the innocence of childhood? It is not, O Lord, it is not.
I entreat thy mercy, O my God, for these same sins as we grow older are
transferred from tutors and masters; they pass from nuts and balls and
sparrows, to magistrates and kings, to gold and lands and slaves, just as
the rod is succeeded by more severe chastisements. It was, then, the fact of
humility in childhood that thou, O our King, didst approve as a symbol of
humility when thou saidst, “Of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” | c*******u
发帖数: 640 | | s******t
发帖数: 2511 | 3 我老当年读《忏悔录》，三天就看完了。杨杰生读的太慢。 | c*******u
发帖数: 640 | 4 反刍
【在 s******t 的大作中提到】
: 我老当年读《忏悔录》，三天就看完了。杨杰生读的太慢。
| J*******g
发帖数: 8775 | 5 “当时教我奉为模范的是那些谈到自己的常事时因措词不善或文法错误而受到讥评，便深
感惭愧，演述自己的轻薄行径时却有伦有脊、情文相生、淋漓尽致，受到人家称赞而引
以自豪的人。”
【在 J*******g 的大作中提到】
: 十八
: 当时教我奉为模范的是那些谈到自己的常事时因措词不善或文法错误而受到讥评，便深
: 感惭愧，演述自己的轻薄行径时却有伦有脊、情文相生、淋漓尽致，受到人家称赞而引
: 以自豪的人。我堕入虚浮之中离开了你，又何足为奇？
: 主，你是种种觑得明白，但默而不言，你真是“能忍的，慈祥而真实的”。[33]但你是
: 否始终沉默呢？现在我的灵魂追求你、渴望你的甘饴，我的心灵向你说：“我已追寻你
: 的容光，主，我还将追寻你的容光”，[34]因为处于情欲的暗影之中，就远离你的容光
: ；你便把我从不测深渊中挽救出来。离开你或重新趋向你身畔，不是在双足的步履上，
: 也不是在空间的距离上。你的次子，是否跨马或乘车搭船，或生了双翅而飞行，或徒步
: 而去，别居于辽远的地区，挥霍你在临行时所给他的财物？[35]你是一位温良的父亲，
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