S**C
发帖数: 2964 | 1 Originally published on 05-20-2004 by Petrocelli, and it was a great read,
cannot help laughing. Love it.
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Last week, WL attended Diehards IV to attempt to investigate rumors that it
was a religious cult. These rumors had been circulating in the Diehard Forum
for several years, and were perpetuated by those who opposed indexing.
When I arrived at the reunion, I first spoke with Diehard Mel Lindauer. (
Notably, Mel also had interviews that day with the Wall Street Journal,
Financial Times, Money, Mutual Fund Magazine, Sports Illustrated, American
Coin Collector, Field & Stream, Highlights Magazine for Children, Golf
Digest, Penthouse, Playboy and Jugs). I asked Mr. Lindauer if the Diehards
were a cult. He chuckled. "That's just a rumor spread by our detractors. We'
re just a group of investors who like to get together and discuss mutual
funds." Then, I heard a bell tolling, and Mr. Lindauer snapped to attention,
as if on cue. "The Holy One approaches," he said. "It's time to take your
seat."
At the entry to the convention room, Taylor Larimore walked in to the room
holding a copy of Bogle on Mutual Funds aloft, in a solemn procession with
Adrian Nenu and Daisy Dog. The Diehards began to sing to the tune of "Oh
Come All Ye Faithful":
"Oh come all ye Diehards,
Bogleheads triumphant!
Oh come ye, oh come ye, to Valley Forge.
Come and behold him,
He hates fund expenses.
Oh come let us adore him.
Oh come let us adore him.
OH COME LET US ADORE HIM.
Bogle the Lord!"
A hush then fell over the crowd, as Taylor read a passage from the "Book of
Bogle" dealing with fund expenses. This was followed by a short sermon by
Michael Lebouef in which he explained how he had wandered in the "Land of
Nod" for several months.
A hush fell over the crowd as an organ played a processional and John Bogle
entered the room. The crowd waved palm fronds and shouted "Hosanah! Hosanah
oh cheap one!" People were weeping openly. Women fell prostate at his feet.
A man known as "Dim Tempsey" began speaking in tongues (although I am
informed he does this pretty much all the time.)
John Bogle, who is about 6'2" and usually weighs about 130 pounds, was down
to about 55 pounds. He explained that he had spent 40 days and 40 nights
fasting in a the desert near Provo, Utah. He told the story of how he had
wrestled the devil, who appeared to him in the form of Ned Johnson and
invited him to start a bunch of sector funds for high net worth customers.
Jack Bogle defeated the Devil. (Bogle indicated that the Devil paid a
similar visit to John Brennan, who apparently succumbed.)
Another hymn followed, sung to the tune of Amazing Grace"
"Oh index funds.
How low the cost.
That saved a wretch like me!
I market timed,
and lost my shirt
I left Fidelity"
Bogle then took questions from the audience. A problem developed when one
woman asked how she could fit Fidelity Select Technology Fund in a portfolio
of Janus Funds. Immediately, the crowd wanted to stone her. Bogle silenced
the crowd with a wave of his hand. "Let he who is without sin cast the first
stone." The crowd fell silent and returned to their seats.
Another problem developed at lunch. Apparently, Daisy Dog failed to order
enough food. However, Bogle somehow fed over 100 Diehards with just a fish
and two loaves of bread. (He even produced a Happy Meal for 10 year old
Katie Ryan.)
I left right before the last event of the day. From what I had heard, the
Diehards were going to take their worshiping of Jack Bogle a little too far.
According to the Diehards' schedule, Jack Bogle was going to be crucified
at noon on Friday. However, they indicated he would rise from the dead on
Sunday morning to give a talk on the value premium. There was some concern
that his stigmata would make it difficult for him to hold his index cards,
but Diehards were certain this would not be a problem. | D*****t
发帖数: 558 | 2 a lot of people may know who john bogle is. heck, they may also know ned
johnson and john brennan. but i bet not many people know who the hell mel
lindauer and taylor larymore are. not to mention this petrocelli guy as well
as his motivation making fun of the indexing cult.
funny as hell, indeed! |
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