b*******t 发帖数: 4756 | 1 I was talking to a friend’s little girl, and she said she wanted to be
President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing
there, so I asked her, ‘If you were to be the President, what is the first
thing you would do?’
She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’ ‘Wow
- what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘You don’t have to wait until you’re
President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds,
and sweep my sidewalks and driveway, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take
you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can
give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.’
She thought that over for a few seconds ‘cause she’s only 6. And while her
Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked,
“Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just
pay him the $50?”
And I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart.” | b*******t 发帖数: 4756 | 2 这个呢:
一位记者在公园里溜达,正好目击了一件有意思的事: 铁笼里的狮子差点咬伤了一个靠
近它的小女孩,多亏另一位男性游客及时上前搏斗,从狮子爪下救回了她。
这位记者急忙上前问道:
“您好,我是一名记者,能否允许我把这件事报道在新闻上?”
“当然可以!”男游客愉快地表示同意。
“全市的人们都会感激您勇敢的行为,我们为拥有您这样的市民感到骄傲!您还想谈点
别的吗?”
“你知道的,狮子很危险,不应该让小孩子接近它们。你们应该在报纸上谈谈这个。”
“没错”记者掏出小本飞快地写下几行字:“顺便问一句,您是民主党人吗?”
“不,我是共和党人。”
“哦好的,十分感谢您。”
第二天,该市最大报纸报道新闻一则:
“昨日中午,一名共和党人在中央公园野蛮地殴打了非洲裔移民并抢走了他的午餐,随
后该男子还发表了支持种族隔离的言论。” | G*******h 发帖数: 4091 | | k*******g 发帖数: 7321 | | y****i 发帖数: 12114 | 5 英文故事分明就是一个诱奸幼女未遂的案子,要深入调查,挖出那个“I". | q*********o 发帖数: 1299 | 6 这个故事还有一句啊。
说他们邻居再也不和他打招呼了。
first
Wow
re
take
can
【在 b*******t 的大作中提到】 : I was talking to a friend’s little girl, and she said she wanted to be : President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing : there, so I asked her, ‘If you were to be the President, what is the first : thing you would do?’ : She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’ ‘Wow : - what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘You don’t have to wait until you’re : President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, : and sweep my sidewalks and driveway, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take : you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can : give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.’
|
|