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发帖数: 3803 | 1 "The Democrats are going all out to top last week's Republican Convention.
In fact, I heard they’re going to have Clint Eastwood yell at a couch." –
Jimmy Fallon
"If you're a donor to President Obama's campaign, you were promised
exclusive access to Joe Biden – and for an extra $10,000 absolutely no
access to Joe Biden." –Conan O'Brien
"Former President Bill Clinton will be in Charlotte tomorrow night. And he'
ll also be at the convention." –David Letterman
"What a different four years makes. At the last Democratic Convention the
theme was 'hope and change' this time it’s 'hope you don’t make a change.'
" –Jay Leno
"The first two nights of the Democratic convention are at the Time Warner
Cable Arena and the big speech by President Obama will be at the Bank of
America Stadium. That’s good thinking, the two things Americans love most:
cable companies and banks." –Jay Leno
"Former Democratic nominee John Kerry is going to give a speech about
foreign policy. It will be like Clint Eastwood's speech except this time the
empty chairs will be in the audience." –Craig Ferguson
"I hope they go easy on Clint Eastwood. It wasn't his best performance last
week at the Republican convention, but he's given us decades of great films.
So Democrats, if you're looking to mock Mitt Romney by dragging an
inanimate object out onto the stage, why not just use Mitt Romney?" –Craig
Ferguson
"There are reports that nine of the hotels being used for politicians at the
Democratic National Convention have bedbugs. When asked what it’s like to
have to deal with thousands of ruthless bloodsuckers, the bedbugs were like,
'Eh, it's OK.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Much like the Republicans, the Democrats are also going to have a mystery
speaker. I believe it's Mitt Romney's dog." –Jay Leno
"The Democrats are getting ready for their convention in north Carolina. Or
as they told Joe Biden, South Carolina." –Jay Leno
"Two California Democratic delegates have already been kicked out of
convention for getting completely drunk. One passed out, the other was
accused of impersonating a member of Congress. They knew he wasn't a real
member of Congress because he was buying his own drinks with his money." –
Jay Leno
"It was just announced that most of the speakers at this year’s Democratic
National Convention will be women. But it’s going to be annoying when they
stop speaking, but won’t tell you why." –Jimmy Fallon
"The Democratic Convention is $27 million in debt. They had to cancel the
kick-off event at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. A speedway is the perfect
place for the Democratic Convention. You go around in circles, turn left
every few seconds, and you end up right where you started." –Jay Leno |
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