l***y
发帖数: 791 | 1 Silence descended, to upstairs and downstairs alike. Zhiwen
couldn’t decide if he should cheer or mourn for this moment
of clarity. Moving to the living room, he found himself
snatching up the phone and dialing that familiar number to
China.
“Hello.”
“It’s me…”
“You? Who’s that?”
For a minute or two, Zhiwen hang on to that silence. The
other would never believe he’d call China at 4 a.m. in
the morning. He disconnected with careful, tender moments.
There he sat, in the dark, bemoaning the lines t | or
发帖数: 720 | 2 实在狠羡慕lynny的英文。
作为beta reader每次都想挑毛病~但这个毛病真是千里难挑~
我觉得末尾的”inner clothes”不自然~不过同时也怀疑自己的判断…
也觉得”stared at them with malevolent eyes”不够自然简洁~尝试eyed them
malevolently~不过同样怀疑自己的判断~
【在 l***y 的大作中提到】
: Silence descended, to upstairs and downstairs alike. Zhiwen
: couldn’t decide if he should cheer or mourn for this moment
: of clarity. Moving to the living room, he found himself
: snatching up the phone and dialing that familiar number to
: China.
: “Hello.”
: “It’s me…”
: “You? Who’s that?”
: For a minute or two, Zhiwen hang on to that silence. The
: other would never believe he’d call China at 4 a.m. in
| l***y
发帖数: 791 | 3 thx! :)
em, i got the uneasy feeling about this one, too. will give it sometime to
right itself.
i mean, to replace itself. :)
will give this one more try.
【在 or 的大作中提到】
: 实在狠羡慕lynny的英文。
: 作为beta reader每次都想挑毛病~但这个毛病真是千里难挑~
: 我觉得末尾的”inner clothes”不自然~不过同时也怀疑自己的判断…
: 也觉得”stared at them with malevolent eyes”不够自然简洁~尝试eyed them
: malevolently~不过同样怀疑自己的判断~
| w*u
发帖数: 94 | 4 作为还没有上任的板副， 我也对LYNN的英文造诣表示赞赏！
【在 or 的大作中提到】
: 实在狠羡慕lynny的英文。
: 作为beta reader每次都想挑毛病~但这个毛病真是千里难挑~
: 我觉得末尾的”inner clothes”不自然~不过同时也怀疑自己的判断…
: 也觉得”stared at them with malevolent eyes”不够自然简洁~尝试eyed them
: malevolently~不过同样怀疑自己的判断~
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