t*******e
发帖数: 29 | 1 paper要due，奏是不想学习，奏想在家窝着，要说去学校见老板那叫一个难！
唉，是不是有什么心理疾病啊？不知道还有没有救了。 | h******r
发帖数: 148 | 2 建议读我推荐的那本书: Managing your mind: the Mental fitness guide.
有一章专讲facing your problem. 图书馆就能有，买一本也不到十块钱。
如果学校的图书馆没有的话，市政府的图书馆一定有。
等我有空把这章扫上来？你要是能把这章扫上来你来干吧。你可以上精华区看看前两章。
比
【在 t*******e 的大作中提到】
: paper要due，奏是不想学习，奏想在家窝着，要说去学校见老板那叫一个难！
: 唉，是不是有什么心理疾病啊？不知道还有没有救了。
| c**r
发帖数: 10001 | 3 不知道啊, 我们家两个都懒, 也没找到方法治. 其实好些时候焦虑就是因为
没干活, 玩也不开心, 干了活就会觉得很充实心里安定了, 可是明明知
道这样, 下次还是容易偷懒而陷入这个不良状态. 感觉根治的办法还是要选择自己喜欢
的事业或学业, 干了有成就感工作量又不太压迫人的活, 就会好了吧.
【在 t*******e 的大作中提到】
: paper要due，奏是不想学习，奏想在家窝着，要说去学校见老板那叫一个难！
: 唉，是不是有什么心理疾病啊？不知道还有没有救了。
| r******s
发帖数: 2155 | 4 My suggestion would be:
1. Understand why. advisor? major? worrying about future? lethargic in
general?
2. Understand yourself. What excites you, motivates you?
3. Quit bad habits, such as making too much or too high commitment that beyond
your capability to please others and cannot keep up with it. don't force
yourself. diversify your life and work. enjoy the weather, outdoor, different
people, food, etc.
比
【在 t*******e 的大作中提到】
: paper要due，奏是不想学习，奏想在家窝着，要说去学校见老板那叫一个难！
: 唉，是不是有什么心理疾病啊？不知道还有没有救了。
| t*******e
发帖数: 29 | 5 Thanks, man! "Anxiety is due to fear...", as written in ttou's article and the
recommended bible. I guess the problem is rooted from the fear for my advisor
and the future. My advisor, or boss, is not an easy person, while I am not a
good student, even not an OK student in his eyes. He complained that I did not
do a good job and he even said that he would stop my financial support because
I wasted the last chance he gave me. Since then, I developed a deep fear for
him. Even now I find a good pos
【在 r******s 的大作中提到】
: My suggestion would be:
: 1. Understand why. advisor? major? worrying about future? lethargic in
: general?
: 2. Understand yourself. What excites you, motivates you?
: 3. Quit bad habits, such as making too much or too high commitment that beyond
: your capability to please others and cannot keep up with it. don't force
: yourself. diversify your life and work. enjoy the weather, outdoor, different
: people, food, etc.
:
: 比
| a*****e
发帖数: 911 | 6 I was suffered by this kind of case too. The symptom was most serious during
last week. After I confronted my problem and fear and then went talking with
my advisor volunteerly, I felt better and now the symptom almost disappeared.
So I guess talking with your advisor frankly about his expectation and your
performance may be a good cure. Sometimes your advisor is just pushed by his
situation to be tough. And as you don't depend on him financially, you can
talk with him without any fear. And let
【在 t*******e 的大作中提到】
: Thanks, man! "Anxiety is due to fear...", as written in ttou's article and the
: recommended bible. I guess the problem is rooted from the fear for my advisor
: and the future. My advisor, or boss, is not an easy person, while I am not a
: good student, even not an OK student in his eyes. He complained that I did not
: do a good job and he even said that he would stop my financial support because
: I wasted the last chance he gave me. Since then, I developed a deep fear for
: him. Even now I find a good pos
| t*******e
发帖数: 29 | 7 Thank you adimple! Your suggestion is quite the way to go. I talked with my
advisor yesterday, and I feel much more released after that! I also sent him
my paper draft. Even though I am not confident in the draft at all and I am
afraid the draft will irritate him, I did it. I kind of admire my own courage
for that, and feel much better. Maybe he will discourage me again, but I think
this time my self-esteem will not got shaked by his comments as much as
before.
disappeared.
efforts
看
喜
在
【在 a*****e 的大作中提到】
: I was suffered by this kind of case too. The symptom was most serious during
: last week. After I confronted my problem and fear and then went talking with
: my advisor volunteerly, I felt better and now the symptom almost disappeared.
: So I guess talking with your advisor frankly about his expectation and your
: performance may be a good cure. Sometimes your advisor is just pushed by his
: situation to be tough. And as you don't depend on him financially, you can
: talk with him without any fear. And let
| b**********r
发帖数: 59 | 8 My advisor is always discouraging me. Finally I gave up of what I like to do
to match her interests. I don't know if American professors are more arrogant
or this is just an individual case. Also she doesn't care about my academic
progress and never thought to help me on paper publishment. This made me miss
my advisor in China who always cares for his students...sigh. I know many
Chinese students feeling difficulty coping with their advisors.
courage
think
during
with
your
his
You
successfully
【在 t*******e 的大作中提到】
: Thank you adimple! Your suggestion is quite the way to go. I talked with my
: advisor yesterday, and I feel much more released after that! I also sent him
: my paper draft. Even though I am not confident in the draft at all and I am
: afraid the draft will irritate him, I did it. I kind of admire my own courage
: for that, and feel much better. Maybe he will discourage me again, but I think
: this time my self-esteem will not got shaked by his comments as much as
: before.
:
: disappeared.
: efforts
| t*******e
发帖数: 29 | 9 For the reference, my advisor comes from India. I believe he wants his
students to be successful, just the way he used (mainly criticise and
punishment) does not work well for me. Maybe your advisor is similar, so don't
be upset for she knows that your success means her success too.
arrogant
miss
my
him
am
can
your
不
自
【在 b**********r 的大作中提到】
: My advisor is always discouraging me. Finally I gave up of what I like to do
: to match her interests. I don't know if American professors are more arrogant
: or this is just an individual case. Also she doesn't care about my academic
: progress and never thought to help me on paper publishment. This made me miss
: my advisor in China who always cares for his students...sigh. I know many
: Chinese students feeling difficulty coping with their advisors.
:
: courage
: think
: during
| a*****e
发帖数: 911 | 10 3 types of advisors tend to be sever:
1. foreigner
2. female
3. assistant professor fighting for tenure
But even nice advisors will have the same problems such as no motivation for
his/her students too. So just take easy and cross your fingers, :)
don't
do
academic
talking
by
too.
【在 t*******e 的大作中提到】
: For the reference, my advisor comes from India. I believe he wants his
: students to be successful, just the way he used (mainly criticise and
: punishment) does not work well for me. Maybe your advisor is similar, so don't
: be upset for she knows that your success means her success too.
:
: arrogant
: miss
: my
: him
: am
| r******s
发帖数: 2155 | 11 I missed your post and just found out today. Actually I do have
something to say about social relations in US for Chinese.
Conflict exists between any two people during interactions. To deal
with it successfully is important for a healthy, cooperative, and
natural relationship. In general, Chinese culture value social harmony
and discourage confrontation. So Chinese conflict management styles
tend to be compromising or accomodating. This may not be particularly bad
in China, yet a huge problem i
【在 t*******e 的大作中提到】
: Thanks, man! "Anxiety is due to fear...", as written in ttou's article and the
: recommended bible. I guess the problem is rooted from the fear for my advisor
: and the future. My advisor, or boss, is not an easy person, while I am not a
: good student, even not an OK student in his eyes. He complained that I did not
: do a good job and he even said that he would stop my financial support because
: I wasted the last chance he gave me. Since then, I developed a deep fear for
: him. Even now I find a good pos
| r******s
发帖数: 2155 | 12 Just learned that your advisor is from India. Then the story may be a
little different. The second point still holds. New suggestions:
1. Don't take his criticism too personal. That may be just his style.
The fact that he still has you says sth.
2. Try to build a buddy-like relationship with this person. They like it.
a
for
depend
【在 r******s 的大作中提到】
: I missed your post and just found out today. Actually I do have
: something to say about social relations in US for Chinese.
: Conflict exists between any two people during interactions. To deal
: with it successfully is important for a healthy, cooperative, and
: natural relationship. In general, Chinese culture value social harmony
: and discourage confrontation. So Chinese conflict management styles
: tend to be compromising or accomodating. This may not be particularly bad
: in China, yet a huge problem i
| a******t
发帖数: 23 | 13 这不是懒,这是procrastination,是可以治的,在学生中很普及,去你们学校的counseling
center问问吧,学校里的counselor对这个应该很熟.
【在 c**r 的大作中提到】
: 不知道啊, 我们家两个都懒, 也没找到方法治. 其实好些时候焦虑就是因为
: 没干活, 玩也不开心, 干了活就会觉得很充实心里安定了, 可是明明知
: 道这样, 下次还是容易偷懒而陷入这个不良状态. 感觉根治的办法还是要选择自己喜欢
: 的事业或学业, 干了有成就感工作量又不太压迫人的活, 就会好了吧.
| g*******2
发帖数: 22 | |
|
