e**n
发帖数: 181 | 1 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
(btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!) |
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 2 本来以为忍忍就过去了,可是想到明天又要见老师了,心里好恐惧好紧张.做女人太不容
易了... |
r*******y
发帖数: 5777 | 3 印度人/？黑人？。
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 4 印度人,不过我不想做过多的种族方面的讨论;请大家给我出出主意,十分感谢! |
g********r
发帖数: 8017 | 5 带录音机。带摄像笔。诱他说话留证据。
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 印度人,不过我不想做过多的种族方面的讨论;请大家给我出出主意,十分感谢!
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 6 那就是准备打官司了? 可是我没有钱打官司,我只希望想办法保护自己,谢谢! |
v*******y
发帖数: 5530 | 7 穿个软猬甲
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 那就是准备打官司了? 可是我没有钱打官司,我只希望想办法保护自己,谢谢!
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 8 请问什么是软猬甲?谢谢!另外不喜欢和别人有身体接触,哪怕是别人碰我的衣服,更何况
是这种暧昧的身体接触. |
r*******y
发帖数: 5777 | 9 distract him。他要碰你，你就突然大声说话。绝对不能沉默，姑息纵容，是对犯罪的
鼓励。
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 请问什么是软猬甲?谢谢!另外不喜欢和别人有身体接触,哪怕是别人碰我的衣服,更何况
: 是这种暧昧的身体接触.
|
r****e
发帖数: 3109 | 10 KEEP THE DOOR WIDE OPEN. IT'S THE RULE
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
|
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 11 嗯,谢谢!在那种情况下,我就有点不知所措,我也不想宣扬,闹得别人都知道这件事.我准
备明天狠狠地瞪他,让他知道我的愤怒. |
s***r
发帖数: 1121 | |
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 13 It is an open office area, with doors on both sides of the room. I wonder
how he dared to do so with the possibility of being seen anytime.
【在 r****e 的大作中提到】
: KEEP THE DOOR WIDE OPEN. IT'S THE RULE
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 14 我不会挖坑,谢谢!您这么说太令人心寒了.
【在 s***r 的大作中提到】
: keng.
|
o****y
发帖数: 790 | 15 My expertise. My cup of tea!
Before I use my skills, pls solemnly swear you told the truth, nothing but
the truth. If not, you will not graduate. |
r****e
发帖数: 3109 | 16 sigh. he likes you too much.
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: It is an open office area, with doors on both sides of the room. I wonder
: how he dared to do so with the possibility of being seen anytime.
|
v*******y
发帖数: 5530 | 17 你是骚扰的expertise还是被骚扰的expertise？
【在 o****y 的大作中提到】
: My expertise. My cup of tea!
: Before I use my skills, pls solemnly swear you told the truth, nothing but
: the truth. If not, you will not graduate.
|
o****y
发帖数: 790 | 18 I meant the skill to resolve this kind of issue.
I long to be harassed by PP mei mei:)
【在 v*******y 的大作中提到】
: 你是骚扰的expertise还是被骚扰的expertise？
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 19 Sry Sir, I do not understand what you are saying. Thx!
【在 o****y 的大作中提到】
: My expertise. My cup of tea!
: Before I use my skills, pls solemnly swear you told the truth, nothing but
: the truth. If not, you will not graduate.
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 20 Then would you please offer some advice? Thx!
【在 o****y 的大作中提到】
: I meant the skill to resolve this kind of issue.
: I long to be harassed by PP mei mei:)
|
|
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 21 I know he likes me, but doesn't he know I am a grown-up rather than a little
girl? At first I also thought it was just casual, but when he reached my
breast, I realized it was clearly sexual harrasment!
【在 r****e 的大作中提到】
: sigh. he likes you too much.
|
f*******l
发帖数: 8811 | 22 你要是认真的，为什么不去学校找人问问。
比如国际学生处。
这种事情有专人负责。他们肯定能给你提供专业意见。
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: Then would you please offer some advice? Thx!
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | |
c********e
发帖数: 42175 | 24 then how did you react last time?
say nothing and stay clam?
little
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: I know he likes me, but doesn't he know I am a grown-up rather than a little
: girl? At first I also thought it was just casual, but when he reached my
: breast, I realized it was clearly sexual harrasment!
|
h*****n
发帖数: 924 | 25 Suppose this is not a "keng", you are in a hard situation.
If you are really intolerant of this, and you want an academic career, consi
der switching to other programs.
In theory, you can officially complain to the univ, but what follows will be
a lengthy investigation. You can earn little unless you keep some hard evid
ence as a previous reply said.
Either you win or not, your career in the program will be affected to s
ome degree.
If you can tolerate, I do not know frankly.
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 26 Yes, I just pretended to ignore..but I am really scared...
【在 c********e 的大作中提到】
: then how did you react last time?
: say nothing and stay clam?
:
: little
|
S*********n
发帖数: 2015 | 27 这个mm看起来真的很不会保护自己，他摸完你大腿你居然还给他机会摸胸！！
赶快换导师吧！ |
e**n
发帖数: 181 | |
R*****o
发帖数: 14902 | 29 你不会说不啊？？你多大了
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
R*****o
发帖数: 14902 | 30 把你的那身借她穿穿
【在 v*******y 的大作中提到】
: 穿个软猬甲
|
|
|
l*****g
发帖数: 2087 | 31 不挖坑会死啊
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
o****y
发帖数: 790 | 32 I approve this message.
【在 l*****g 的大作中提到】
: 不挖坑会死啊
|
T*******e
发帖数: 195 | 33 请问他是左手碰的还是右手碰的？？？
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 印度人,不过我不想做过多的种族方面的讨论;请大家给我出出主意,十分感谢!
|
j******n
发帖数: 1727 | 34 怎么样也要把名字爆出来！！！
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
H*******e
发帖数: 726 | 35 Universities in North America have zero tolerance for sexual harassment. You need to speak to a lawyer immediately. Don't worry about the fees. They will take your case, because they smell $$$.
Compensation by the University to you can be huge. We are talking millions.
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
k***p
发帖数: 137 | 36 啊?那她岂不是发了?
You
will
.
【在 H*******e 的大作中提到】
: Universities in North America have zero tolerance for sexual harassment. You need to speak to a lawyer immediately. Don't worry about the fees. They will take your case, because they smell $$$.
: Compensation by the University to you can be huge. We are talking millions.
|
C*S
发帖数: 1658 | 37 严肃地提醒老邢：
在法考题版挖坑，应该注意一下发文的品位。嗯。 |
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 38 感谢这里的长辈给我的建议，我现在知道该怎么处理了，谢谢！
对于那些怀疑我挖坑的人，我感到很悲哀。也许在网络论坛里“狼来了”被喊得太多次
，人们已经不再相信了。因此，我对那些真诚给我意见的人表达真诚的崇敬。
谢谢！ |
y******l
发帖数: 900 | 39 坑都发到了发考题版。
大家还都这么热心。
真热心。
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: Sry Sir, I do not understand what you are saying. Thx!
|
t******t
发帖数: 772 | 40 同意。一定要对簿公堂，你不会有问题，注意保留证据。下一次就不能让证据跑了。不
要急着和老印闹，证据为先。
You need to speak to a lawyer immediately. Don't worry about the fees. They
will take your case, because they smell $$$.
.
【在 H*******e 的大作中提到】
: Universities in North America have zero tolerance for sexual harassment. You need to speak to a lawyer immediately. Don't worry about the fees. They will take your case, because they smell $$$.
: Compensation by the University to you can be huge. We are talking millions.
|
|
|
r****e
发帖数: 3109 | 41 色狼来了，快挖坑埋了它
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 感谢这里的长辈给我的建议，我现在知道该怎么处理了，谢谢！
: 对于那些怀疑我挖坑的人，我感到很悲哀。也许在网络论坛里“狼来了”被喊得太多次
: ，人们已经不再相信了。因此，我对那些真诚给我意见的人表达真诚的崇敬。
: 谢谢！
|
i****a
发帖数: 36252 | 42 did you enjoy it?
if you didn't enjoy it, why didn't you stop him?
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 43 感谢各位老师的建议，我今天义正词严地跟他说不可以touch 我，他似乎受到了警告，
没有再有什么physical contact. 我很高兴我从这个版上得到了勇气，虽然有个别留言
让我看了很伤心。再次感谢！ |
h*****n
发帖数: 924 | 44 good
回帖就像米国的本科生，垃圾永远outnumber出很多倍。
看回帖就像教学生，有一个值得看（教），今天就没白来。
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 感谢各位老师的建议，我今天义正词严地跟他说不可以touch 我，他似乎受到了警告，
: 没有再有什么physical contact. 我很高兴我从这个版上得到了勇气，虽然有个别留言
: 让我看了很伤心。再次感谢！
|
l*****g
发帖数: 2087 | 45 假设你不是挖坑的
要么你10岁要么你老师nc
再说一句 不挖坑会死啊
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 感谢各位老师的建议，我今天义正词严地跟他说不可以touch 我，他似乎受到了警告，
: 没有再有什么physical contact. 我很高兴我从这个版上得到了勇气，虽然有个别留言
: 让我看了很伤心。再次感谢！
|
S*********n
发帖数: 2015 | 46 我相信lz不是挖坑。因为类似的事情确实发生过！ |
S*********r
发帖数: 5693 | 47 你的胸也被摸过？
【在 S*********n 的大作中提到】
: 我相信lz不是挖坑。因为类似的事情确实发生过！
|
r****z
发帖数: 393 | 48 如果是我，宁可不读了也要把它给告了。就算它以后不这样了，也别跟它做了。 |
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 49 Well said !
【在 h*****n 的大作中提到】
: good
: 回帖就像米国的本科生，垃圾永远outnumber出很多倍。
: 看回帖就像教学生，有一个值得看（教），今天就没白来。
|
w******t
发帖数: 1422 | 50 这太corss line.
你要和学校HR谈， 和系主任谈。 如果系里有比较powerful and nice 的女secretary
， 和她谈之后在和系主任谈 so she will on your side to support you。 要求换导
师。 他绝不是第一次这样， 也不是最后一次。 也许系里已有人告过他。
美国不是中国。 保护女性.
一个女孩在异国读ph.d很辛苦， 不要在背上这种精神负担， 不要怕， 不要软弱
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: 前天和导师讨论的时候被老师摸大腿，后来又摸胸部，感到很难过，请问我该怎么办？
: (btw, 我在美国读PhD,老师不是华人,也不是白人,谢谢!)
|
|
|
h*****n
发帖数: 924 | 51 理论上是这样，但现实中绝没有那么简单
没有过硬的证据告不倒一个教授，倒是搞得满城风雨，这个学校就不容易呆了——谁能
说的清不是affair之后或者其他不愉快后的诬告
跟公司或者学校的员工不同，做学生和AP的，这种事情不是那么好办。如果真要跟谁谈
的话，还是跟这个教授自己谈比较合适。
美国是有很多保护弱势群体的制度，但具体怎么使用不是那么简单。
secretary
【在 w******t 的大作中提到】
: 这太corss line.
: 你要和学校HR谈， 和系主任谈。 如果系里有比较powerful and nice 的女secretary
: ， 和她谈之后在和系主任谈 so she will on your side to support you。 要求换导
: 师。 他绝不是第一次这样， 也不是最后一次。 也许系里已有人告过他。
: 美国不是中国。 保护女性.
: 一个女孩在异国读ph.d很辛苦， 不要在背上这种精神负担， 不要怕， 不要软弱
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 52 This is a good comment. Thx! I have warned him this time, and I will watch
and see what is going to happen. I have no evidence or witness, and I do not
want to take adavantage of this either. So..I think the best thing to do at
this moment is to wait and see..If there is another time, I hope to get a
witness/evidence, but of course, I do not want to have another time for the
rest of my life! |
o****y
发帖数: 790 | 53 Why am I still NOT convinced the whole thing is NOT a "Ken"?
Admire your tenacity and professionalism :)
not
at
the
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: This is a good comment. Thx! I have warned him this time, and I will watch
: and see what is going to happen. I have no evidence or witness, and I do not
: want to take adavantage of this either. So..I think the best thing to do at
: this moment is to wait and see..If there is another time, I hope to get a
: witness/evidence, but of course, I do not want to have another time for the
: rest of my life!
|
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 54 I just learned about the legal concerns from the valuable dicussion in this
board, as well as some knowledge grabed from google. I am going to be a
faculty one day, so it is natural for me to appear serious and bookish in
any matter. Thanks Outcry, I know you are a good person and you are also
passionate to help people in this forum. |
u****a
发帖数: 568 | 55 I bet 10 baozi this is a keng
【在 s***r 的大作中提到】
: keng.
|
a****d
发帖数: 114 | 56 exactly
【在 r****e 的大作中提到】
: KEEP THE DOOR WIDE OPEN. IT'S THE RULE
|
o****y
发帖数: 790 | 57 Thanks for the encouragement. I apologize in advance if it is NOT a Ken.
this
【在 e**n 的大作中提到】
: I just learned about the legal concerns from the valuable dicussion in this
: board, as well as some knowledge grabed from google. I am going to be a
: faculty one day, so it is natural for me to appear serious and bookish in
: any matter. Thanks Outcry, I know you are a good person and you are also
: passionate to help people in this forum.
|
w******t
发帖数: 1422 | 58 you should bring this to the department's attention. Otherwise, the
professor would not stop. "没有过硬的证据告不倒一个教授，倒是搞得满城风雨，
这个学校就不容易呆了——谁能
thinking. Suggest you to discuss with your HR and female secretary to get
their advice.
The department would not fire the professor, but can put this complain in
his file. and in the future if other female students are in the same
situation, they may take action.
meanwhile, ask to change advisor. Under this kind of advisor, he will not
respect you and help you f |
s****r
发帖数: 326 | 59 如果是真的，恭喜你，发财了。
只要把这录下来送到法庭，学校乖乖的掏钱，那个老师马上灰溜溜的滚蛋。
天下哪有这么好的事让你遇到，估计这是个坑。 |
o****y
发帖数: 790 | 60 Pls give him/her benefit of doubt! :)
【在 s****r 的大作中提到】
: 如果是真的，恭喜你，发财了。
: 只要把这录下来送到法庭，学校乖乖的掏钱，那个老师马上灰溜溜的滚蛋。
: 天下哪有这么好的事让你遇到，估计这是个坑。
|
|
|
f******k
发帖数: 434 | 61 好坑！
下次知道怎么不留痕迹的骚扰学生了。摸胸爽一把再说, 大不了被警告一下。 |
e**n
发帖数: 181 | 62 Thx! This is very doable, I will act accordingly, i.e., definitely report to
HR.
【在 w******t 的大作中提到】
: you should bring this to the department's attention. Otherwise, the
: professor would not stop. "没有过硬的证据告不倒一个教授，倒是搞得满城风雨，
: 这个学校就不容易呆了——谁能
: thinking. Suggest you to discuss with your HR and female secretary to get
: their advice.
: The department would not fire the professor, but can put this complain in
: his file. and in the future if other female students are in the same
: situation, they may take action.
: meanwhile, ask to change advisor. Under this kind of advisor, he will not
: respect you and help you f
|
h*****n
发帖数: 924 | 63 well, chinese thinking? i do not know your definition of chinese thinking, b
ut am very positive how much gossips go around in workplace and acadmia
everyday.
the dept never puts such un-confirmed memos into a prof's file -- this does
sound like the practice of chinese cultural revolution -- i hope this is you
r kidding rather than understanding of university redtape.
HR ppl typically suggest collecting evidence and refer the victims to sort o
f anti-harassemment office, then a lengthy investiga
【在 w******t 的大作中提到】
: you should bring this to the department's attention. Otherwise, the
: professor would not stop. "没有过硬的证据告不倒一个教授，倒是搞得满城风雨，
: 这个学校就不容易呆了——谁能
: thinking. Suggest you to discuss with your HR and female secretary to get
: their advice.
: The department would not fire the professor, but can put this complain in
: his file. and in the future if other female students are in the same
: situation, they may take action.
: meanwhile, ask to change advisor. Under this kind of advisor, he will not
: respect you and help you f
|
