ChinaNews版 - From WikiChina - Washington Embassy, People’s Republic of China |
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b***y
发帖数: 554 | 1 Josh Haner/The New York Times
Thomas L. Friedman
While secrets from WikiLeaks were splashed all over the American
newspapers, I couldn’t help but wonder: What if China had a WikiLeaker
and we could see what its embassy in Washington was reporting about
America? I suspect the cable would read like this:
Washington Embassy, People’s Republic of China, to Ministry of Foreign
Affairs Beijing, TOP SECRET/Subject: America today.
Things are going well here for China. America remains a deeply
politically polarized country, which is certainly helpful for our goal
of overtaking the U.S. as the world’s most powerful economy and nation.
But we’re particularly optimistic because the Americans are polarized
over all the wrong things.
There is a willful self-destructiveness in the air here as if America
has all the time and money in the world for petty politics. They fight
over things like — we are not making this up — how and where an airport
security officer can touch them. They are fighting — we are happy to
report — over the latest nuclear arms reduction treaty with Russia. It
seems as if the Republicans are so interested in weakening President
Obama that they are going to scuttle a treaty that would have fostered
closer U.S.-Russian cooperation on issues like Iran. And since anything
that brings Russia and America closer could end up isolating us, we are
grateful to Senator Jon Kyl of Arizona for putting our interests ahead
of America’s and blocking Senate ratification of the treaty. The
ambassador has invited Senator Kyl and his wife for dinner at Mr. Kao’s
Chinese restaurant to praise him for his steadfastness in protecting
America’s (read: our) interests.
Americans just had what they call an “election.” Best we could tell it
involved one congressman trying to raise more money than the other (all
from businesses they are supposed to be regulating) so he could tell
bigger lies on TV more often about the other guy before the other guy
could do it to him. This leaves us relieved. It means America will do
nothing serious to fix its structural problems: a ballooning deficit,
declining educational performance, crumbling infrastructure and
diminished immigration of new talent.
The ambassador recently took what the Americans call a fast train — the
Acela — from Washington to New York City. Our bullet train from Beijing
to Tianjin would have made the trip in 90 minutes. His took three hours
— and it was on time! Along the way the ambassador used his cellphone to
call his embassy office, and in one hour he experienced 12 dropped calls
— again, we are not making this up. We have a joke in the embassy: “When
someone calls you from China today it sounds like they are next door.
And when someone calls you from next door in America, it sounds like
they are calling from China!” Those of us who worked in China’s embassy
in Zambia often note that Africa’s cellphone service was better than
America’s.
But the Americans are oblivious. They travel abroad so rarely that they
don’t see how far they are falling behind. Which is why we at the
embassy find it funny that Americans are now fighting over how
“exceptional” they are. Once again, we are not making this up. On the
front page of The Washington Post on Monday there was an article noting
that Republicans Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee are denouncing Obama for
denying “American exceptionalism.” The Americans have replaced working
to be exceptional with talking about how exceptional they still are.
They don’t seem to understand that you can’t declare yourself
“exceptional,” only others can bestow that adjective upon you.
In foreign policy, we see no chance of Obama extricating U.S. forces
from Afghanistan. He knows the Republicans will call him a wimp if he
does, so America will keep hemorrhaging $190 million a day there.
Therefore, America will lack the military means to challenge us anywhere
else, particularly on North Korea, where our lunatic friends continue to
yank America’s chain every six months so that the Americans have to come
and beg us to calm things down. By the time the Americans do get out of
Afghanistan, the Afghans will surely hate them so much that China’s
mining companies already operating there should be able to buy up the
rest of Afghanistan’s rare minerals.
Most of the Republicans just elected to Congress do not believe what
their scientists tell them about man-made climate change. America’s
politicians are mostly lawyers — not engineers or scientists like ours —
so they’ll just say crazy things about science and nobody calls them on
it. It’s good. It means they will not support any bill to spur clean
energy innovation, which is central to our next five-year plan. And this
ensures that our efforts to dominate the wind, solar, nuclear and
electric car industries will not be challenged by America.
Finally, record numbers of U.S. high school students are now studying
Chinese, which should guarantee us a steady supply of cheap labor that
speaks our language here, as we use our $2.3 trillion in reserves to
quietly buy up U.S. factories. In sum, things are going well for China
in America.
Thank goodness the Americans can’t read our diplomatic cables.
Embassy Washington.
Maureen Dowd is off today. | n***s
发帖数: 294 | 2 lol
【在 b***y 的大作中提到】
: Josh Haner/The New York Times
: Thomas L. Friedman
: While secrets from WikiLeaks were splashed all over the American
: newspapers, I couldn’t help but wonder: What if China had a WikiLeaker
: and we could see what its embassy in Washington was reporting about
: America? I suspect the cable would read like this:
: Washington Embassy, People’s Republic of China, to Ministry of Foreign
: Affairs Beijing, TOP SECRET/Subject: America today.
: Things are going well here for China. America remains a deeply
: politically polarized country, which is certainly helpful for our goal
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