d*******l
发帖数: 2567 | 1 Just came across this big news of Mr Li's affair. As a guy of 30s and with
kids,I believe this is something we sooner or later will face, including me
myself. So here we go, my personal opinion.
I'll save the judgmental and emotional parts, and instead focus on the
outcome. Mr. Li, given the bad publicity within the community, he should
have never confessed unless there were solid evidence(i.e., got caught right
there doing the thing). If he really wanted to divorce, just divorce with
another re |
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s******s
发帖数: 48 | 2 转：
下面是网上搜来的关于california divorce law.
"I have committed adultery. Will my spouse get the lion's share of
everything, including property and higher-than-usual child support or
spousal support?"
In a nutshell, adultery is a non-issue in California divorce law and, as an
act, is totally irrelevant to the division of property, child support and
spousal support, and custody issues -- except in very, very narrow
circumstances. The only time adultery comes into play is if the act is
committed in front o |
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k***i
发帖数: 35 | 3 it might not be your fault for marrying him, but it's your fault for not
divorcing him afterward. If you don't think you derserve better, then just
stay where you are in life now and take whatever this bad marriage gives you
. Sheesh, can a divorce be worse than a marriage like that? you don't even
have concerns of kids or money. |
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w*******g
发帖数: 9932 | 4 file for divorce. Half of his money is yours. Get a divorce lawyer. |
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j**s
发帖数: 1028 | 5 There will be damage for sure. Yet if you can stay in this marriage, I feel
divorce now is better than divorce when your kid gets older. She doesn't
know anything at 2 but at 8 or 9, kids will have their own social circle....
... my 2cents, no kid yet. |
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r*******3
发帖数: 711 | 6 divorce him as soon as possible.
get a divorce lawyer today.
if you have a kid with him.both you and
your beloved kid would be in
disaster! |
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c**i
发帖数: 6973 | 7 Incurred before and During Marriage?
Ron Lieber, What Love Joins Togetehr, Debt Can Put Asunder. New York Times,
Sept. 4, 2010 (title in the print).
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/04/your-money/04money.html
("But Ms. [Susan] Reach Winters[, a divorce lawyer,] said that if she were
representing someone like Ms. Tidwell’s boyfriend in a divorce, she would
argue that he deserved a sort of refund for everything he paid toward
household expenses even if Ms. Tidwell were making the loan payments out o |
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c**i
发帖数: 6973 | 8 There is no reason to be sad. In US, divorce is common.
By the way, talk to a good divorce lawyer. You will be able to split half of her
earning power (NOT the medical degree, though), because you supported her
and/or paid her tuition when she was in medical school/residency. This IS
America. Life is great. (Think about it: If you were in China or Taiwan, you
would get nothing.) |
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G***G
发帖数: 16778 | 9 but if the story's scene is inverse to the article, for example,
husband stays at home being a depressed loser and wife goes out
to work, what would the wife do?
Will she try her best to keep the family intact first, if it failed, then go
to court and file a divorce?
or will she never divorce him because she wants to give him love for ever no
matther what a loser he is? |
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d****m
发帖数: 119 | 10 Even if he's abusive verbly, you can call the police, get a restraining
order.
Get a lawyer who's familiar with your local judges, and ask him/her to help
you file divorce and get temporary alimony and child support(this is
important! he obviously doesn't care about you nor your child, he will
definitely not fund your divorce either. and this temporary alimony is
usually generous in your favor). Also, you need to get a F1 visa, just in
case.
His stupid conculsion on his minimal responsibility is... 阅读全帖 |
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G***G
发帖数: 16778 | 11 not divorce yet? you need to find a lawyer and then divorce if
you cannot tolerate it.
You may be next Rex sooner or later. |
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l********k
发帖数: 357 | 12 your husband is a loser. he is not smart in his research. He transferred
money back to his home because he is afraid of dividing money with you upon
divorce. upon divorce, money is divided equally between husband and wife. |
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T*******7
发帖数: 636 | 13 ☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
findingnemo8 ((可惜不是你)) 于 (Fri Oct 22 11:04:40 2010, 美东) 提到:
为了一个显示器的问题，
硬说是他的钱买的，
说所有钱都是他的，和我无关。
我要处理下文件用一下，
不让用，于是开始打我，
打的是头的后部，
打的很狠，用拳头还有
男士运动鞋，当时打晕了，
而且掐脖子掐了很久，几乎
导致出不了气。
女儿在旁边也就是哭，
我挣扎不动，让女儿去报警，
女儿也吓闷了，
等一会起来后，我头痛非常厉害
很晕，连报警电话911都记不起来了。
后来可能是邻居报警，警察过来，
询问完情况，让他睡到邻居那里。
他还扬言要是中国的话，会一刀
捅死我。
我们的安全已经受到了极大的威胁，
请求建议如何处理？
本来是再过两周就要回国了。
他是博士后，工作到月底。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
kerin (zzsr) 于 (Fri Oct 22 11:06:21 2010, 美东) 提到:
call the pol... 阅读全帖 |
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G***G
发帖数: 16778 | 14 in order to answer your quesiton, you must give us the answers to the
following
two questions:
why did the man beat his woman?
why did the man leave his woman for another one?
for example, a man diagnosed with cancer wanted to leave his woman because
he wanted to die alone and he wanted his woman could marry as soon
as possible a healthy man after their divorce. but after their divorce,
he needed a woman to take care of him, so he married another one.
do you still fell the man guilty who left hi... 阅读全帖 |
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v*****z
发帖数: 3067 | 15 it happen to me one month ago.my wife hit herself with a piece of wood and
call the police and tell them I hit her. the police put me in jail for 29
hrs.
she bail me out 25k cash.now she send a letter tell the TA that was a
mistake. but the TA won't dismiss the case.I have to find lawyer to deal
with it.my wife is same as your wife.
now,I just wait foe the case pass then plan to get divorce.
if you don't get any mark by her,don't worry about it,they will dismiss the
case. won't get in jail for ... 阅读全帖 |
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h**********0
发帖数: 614 | 16 if she does not get divorced, her whole life will be ruined for sure.
Divorce may not guarantee a better life but at least give her a chance to
start over.
Be strong. Believe she can do better. |
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w*******i
发帖数: 284 | 17 把账号密码改了 is short-term strategy and is not useful in the long run.
You should send money to your parents, and be preparing for a divorce. I
remind you that when divorce comes, men 是很无情的。 |
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Z*l
发帖数: 888 | 18 国内现在离婚法啥样？一方坚持不divorce就能一直不divorce吗？
But
get |
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o********a
发帖数: 242 | 19 "If it were not for the baby, I would have divorced you long ago." What
would you do?
My baby is only 9 months old, so that means he has been thinking of divorce
since I was pregnant.
I plan to separate first. Did not know it would end like this. |
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w*******n
发帖数: 4188 | 20 that meaning is straight: ur lg doesn't love u any more, but he will not
divorce with u.
divorce |
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t********n
发帖数: 705 | 21 I support you, don't listense to those comments about staying in the
marriage because of the responsiablity for child. There are many cases that
couple divorces after their kid fully grow up. Then so what? They still
divorce, by that time; you and your wife are both old. Plus It is not for
sure the kid will have a brighter future because arise by both parent. many
wsn, wsnv, jp, criminal, loser are rise by both parents. So there is no
correlation. Don't let the stereotype or the public opinion s... 阅读全帖 |
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s******5
发帖数: 62 | 22 Boy and girl are DIFFERENT -- accept it, girl! C'mon, why do girls keep
trying to measure themselves by boy standard, and use any inequality in that
measurement as arguement? Boys never do that to girls.
Anyway, back to the subject...
LZ must be a very inexperienced person in sex and relationships. That's why
he can't get out of it. If he had slept with 5 or 6 girls, he would be much
less upset...
My prescription:
(1) In case he doesn't want to end up in divorce: find some extra-marrital
sex to ... 阅读全帖 |
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h**********0
发帖数: 614 | 23 if you want to give him a chance, you should ask for a large amount of
financial collateral, which he can't claw back if you two get divorced in
the future. The money is not a compensation to you but a signal how much he
is willing to commit to you.If he is not willing to do that, then you should
at least try to stop loving him and prepare for the divorce. You don't have
to tell him that now. Tell him once you are ready both financially and
emotionally.
my theory, a man intentionally cheats on t... 阅读全帖 |
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h**********0
发帖数: 614 | 24 if you want to give him a chance, you should ask for a large amount of
financial collateral, which he can't claw back if you two get divorced in
the future. The money is not a compensation to you but a signal how much he
is willing to commit to you.If he is not willing to do that, then you should
at least try to stop loving him and prepare for the divorce. You don't have
to tell him that now. Tell him once you are ready both financially and
emotionally.
my theory, a man intentionally cheats on t... 阅读全帖 |
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Z**S
发帖数: 1211 | 25 divorce her ba.
The judge won't be sympathetic of her for divorcing her husband because the
kid did not use her last name. |
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Z**S
发帖数: 1211 | 26 divorce her ba.
The judge won't be sympathetic of her for divorcing her husband because the
kid did not use her last name. |
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G**********e
发帖数: 11693 | 27 if I were you I would abort the baby and file divorce, let him regret this
forever, I'll never mistreat myself.
or if I can't bear to abort the baby, I'll move out, have the baby then
divorce and have him pay for child care and alimony.
can't let this asshole get away with abusing a pregnant woman |
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w******8
发帖数: 141 | 28 I'm sure there are a few families that could handle these things well.
However, not necessarily all the time women will get lots of money after
divorce.
Plus, with a society that promoting selfishness, personal development, and a
divorce rate between 50% to 60%, it is not too difficult to assess the risk
a woman is taking. |
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P****D
发帖数: 11146 | 29 这句话笑死我了……
LZ傻到一定程度了，对方说没时间就把LZ打发了？还一打发就打发几年？LZ自己也没勇
气离婚就直面自己的懦弱，不要怪本来就不想离婚的男人。
置顶帖http://www.mitbbs.com/article_t2/Family/31972745.html里说得明白
“五，如果有一方不同意，另一方可以作为控方单方申诉离婚。如果第一方（辩方）有错
（外遇，虐待等），可以走fault divorce程序，有可能多分些财产。否则走
non-fault divorce，法庭会通知几个月后开庭判决。如果辩方不愿意来出庭，法官
会直接批离婚；即使辩方来出庭，如果控方坚持离婚，法庭也会批的。”
这个老公没时间出庭，对LZ来说是好事，什么啰嗦都没有就直接判离婚了。 |
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r**********9
发帖数: 141 | 30 Really not a big deal I think,just a personal preference. I don't have any
ring before, but to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding I bought myself a
ring with $100, jut to show that I am married. My husband still does not
like to wear ring because of friction to skin. but I do not care he wears
ring or not. I care more what he really did to the family.
It's really not about the ring. In the old days parents do not wear ring at
all, but affair and divorce rate is very low. Now days most couples we... 阅读全帖 |
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r**********9
发帖数: 141 | 31 Really not a big deal I think,just a personal preference. I don't have any
ring before, but to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding I bought myself a
ring with $100, jut to show that I am married. My husband still does not
like to wear ring because of friction to skin. but I do not care he wears
ring or not. I care more what he really did to the family.
It's really not about the ring. In the old days parents do not wear ring at
all, but affair and divorce rate is very low. Now days most couples we... 阅读全帖 |
|
r**********9
发帖数: 141 | 32 Really not a big deal I think,just a personal preference. I don't have any
ring before, but to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding I bought myself a
ring with $100, jut to show that I am married. My husband still does not
like to wear ring because of friction to skin. but I do not care he wears
ring or not. I care more what he really did to the family.
It's really not about the ring. In the old days parents do not wear ring at
all, but affair and divorce rate is very low. Now days most couples we... 阅读全帖 |
|
r**********9
发帖数: 141 | 33 Really not a big deal I think,just a personal preference. I don't have any
ring before, but to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding I bought myself a
ring with $100, jut to show that I am married. My husband still does not
like to wear ring because of friction to skin. but I do not care he wears
ring or not. I care more what he really did to the family.
It's really not about the ring. In the old days parents do not wear ring at
all, but affair and divorce rate is very low. Now days most couples we... 阅读全帖 |
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D*********r
发帖数: 371 | 34 i feel ya dude: this is rather smothering. but do you have the gut to go
through divorce and all that shit? how are you gonna face the children? will
you ever date again? for me it is the aftermath of a divorce that makes me
really hesitate. i guess i am just a wimp. |
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m********n
发帖数: 4570 | 35 ☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
doom2007 (doom) 于 (Sat Dec 19 19:33:04 2009, 美东) 提到:
本人生物phd男. 比LD早来几年，毕业后太难找工作找到一起了，去了中西部地区，只
能两地了，飞机 2小时左右，这已经是第三年了，收入只有80K出头，工作还算稳定。
老婆常青藤东岸PHD在读，还有2年毕业。老婆成天就爱拿自己和别人比，还爱把我跟别
人比。说我是loser,东岸那么多工作都找不到，怨我当初骗她出国，如果她在北京继续
干着，早买房子了，估计能值几百万了。每次打电话总是说我这不行，那不行，连100K
都赚不到，还唆使我改行， 我都30岁出头了，早就厌倦读书了。我计划的是拿到绿卡
，然后去东岸找工作更稳妥些， 可是现在经济危机， 485又pengding 了好几年了，觉
得是进退两难。 我想劝她读个精算的硕士就行了，不要读博士，工作在哪里都好找，
她说不要去中西部大农村过一辈子。说我应该去读个金融硕士，她精算博士，这样家庭
收入能大大提高。现在每次听她在电话里抱怨就很伤心， 昨天做梦居... 阅读全帖 |
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z****i
发帖数: 523 | 36 Don't understand LZ. If you divorce your wife, I think you would never find
a good one as you expected. All your life will full of miserable divorce. |
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w**s
发帖数: 1911 | 37 agree
a couple was considering divorce. wife was making over
2k/mo asking husband who was making over 4k/mo to pay
for support. then the husband's employer was relocating to
another state, and the husband was planning to be self-
employeed. then wife proposed to not support each other
after the divorce, she doesn't want to support a self-
employeed ex-husband because income is difficult to be
verified.
钱的。没有真正的实
拿多少。 |
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b******s
发帖数: 1858 | 38 RE! You need to learn how to treat yourself better and how to love yourself.
You sacrificed too much for a long time, and your husband just takes it as
granted. That's wrong!
STOP 种菜, 做饭, and 弄来婆婆! You need more time to take care of yourself,
let your husband cooking when he comes, he need take more responsibilities.
And let 婆婆 go home, send your kids to daycare or find a living nanny. And
don't 种菜, ok? You are a super busy working mom. You don't have that much
free time.
Even you have to di... 阅读全帖 |
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T*******e
发帖数: 4928 | 39 "He told me he envies other guys whose wives are also posdocs. Because they
live together and earn much money than me." Puking....
If you can support yourself, get a divorce now. Your husband is so stupid.
If you can not support yourself now, then wait. Do get a divorce after you graduate and get a decent job. Let your idiot husband find his dream wife who is also a postdoc. |
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m*****g
发帖数: 3029 | 40 divorce or torture yourself
She will get kid most likely. Make sure you will get the right
to raise/see your son during divorce process.
keep some dignity, will you? |
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n***n
发帖数: 139 | 41 Plan 1: If you want to take 1/2 half of my 401K, then I need both of us
disclose all the money left in our bank accounts including your online bank,
BOA, Chase, IRA, and my bank accounts. Then you can deducted $15000 you
gave me 7 years ago for me to complete the degree. then we share the
remaining evenly. I will not ask to share the car.
Plan 2: If you don't want to disclose your online balance, you will not have
right to share my 401K. Each person just keep what s/he has so far. Also, I
will n... 阅读全帖 |
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g*******0
发帖数: 2152 | 42 My suggestion is let time to make the choice for you. Do not jump to yield
to your wife and her family easily nor to decide to divorce at this point. You just have one child. Now your parents are helping you so you can manage your life now. Wait for half to a year, if your wife still insist her decision, divorce is a better choice.
Always remember you are not totally rely on anybody to have a happy life.
Marriage is just a relationship of appreciation, without that there is no
base for a marriag... 阅读全帖 |
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g*******0
发帖数: 2152 | 43 My suggestion is let time to make the choice for you. Do not jump to yield
to your wife and her family easily nor to decide to divorce at this point. You just have one child. Now your parents are helping you so you can manage your life now. Wait for half to a year, if your wife still insist her decision, divorce is a better choice.
Always remember you are not totally rely on anybody to have a happy life.
Marriage is just a relationship of appreciation, without that there is no
base for a marriag... 阅读全帖 |
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r****g
发帖数: 511 | 44 【 以下文字转载自 Piebridge 讨论区 】
发信人: rihong (日黉), 信区: Piebridge
标 题: 是不是有些人其实还不适合美好婚姻或当好家长？
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Wed Mar 7 10:34:14 2012, 美东)
感觉这个首页啊，有阵子吧，媳妇啊婆婆啊什么的矛盾上了好几条；后来吧就是女婿和
丈母娘丈母爷的矛盾；结果这两天一看，又是夫妻之间甚至家长和小孩儿之间的。。。
琢磨着婚姻可能不是一个一定美好的东西，而是一个壳子。里头是心里美还是赛蜜糖还
是苦砒霜都要看两个人的共同付出，甚至双方的家人。
若是自己连中学生守则，甚至小学生守则都做不到。那又要怎么言传身教地去当个好家
长，甚至是能带出遵守那些守则的好孩子的家长呢？
工作讲究有个技能列表，这样才能为雇主创造价值。
家庭的话，感觉也有一些事情需要掌握，才能保证以后能为家庭创造价值嘛~``
可是这个，学校不说爹妈也不教，朋友之间可能还喜欢攀比什么的。结果本来通过社会
洗礼、自我反省和不断改进后可以掌握多种技能创造美好生活的同学们，跳级成家，发
现麻烦比想象得要多啊~``
技能缺得越多，对般... 阅读全帖 |
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n**********1
发帖数: 206 | 45 我这里准备写一些女性关心的离婚法律话题， 我慢慢加， 你要有什么问题可以在下面
跟， 我看见题目合适就加上。
我这个帖子主要是给低收入，对美国法律不了解的女性， 强调女性一方的收入比较低
，或者没有收入。
离婚是很复杂的问题，涉及Child Custody， Alimony， Property Distribution，
Child Support， 有401（K），Enhanced Earning Capacity。 女性，特别是
StayHomeMom， 如果对美国法律不了解，就不能保护自己应该得到的权力和财产。离婚
就算没有财产，没有孩子，还可能存在伴侣继承的遗产，401K帐户， 银行账户，投资
帐户， 婚前财产，研究生学位等各种财产的划分。孩子的Custody还存在Visitation，
Supervised Visitation， 是否能带回国外，或者外州等问题 。如果存在这些问题一
定要询问Matrimonial Lawyer。
请特别注意的是，每个人情况不同，家庭法是州法控制，每个州法律不同，你的具体问
题一定要咨询合格的家庭法律师。
1. 离婚后的绿卡问题
如果你是与公... 阅读全帖 |
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T*******7
发帖数: 636 | 46 ☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
newyearid001 (newyearid001) 于 (Thu Jun 7 20:59:56 2012, 美东) 提到:
我这里准备写一些女性关心的离婚法律话题， 我慢慢加， 你要有什么问题可以在下面
跟， 我看见题目合适就加上。
我这个帖子主要是给低收入，对美国法律不了解的女性， 强调女性一方的收入比较低
，或者没有收入。
离婚是很复杂的问题，涉及Child Custody， Alimony， Property Distribution，
Child Support， 有401（K），Enhanced Earning Capacity。 女性，特别是
StayHomeMom， 如果对美国法律不了解，就不能保护自己应该得到的权力和财产。离婚
就算没有财产，没有孩子，还可能存在伴侣继承的遗产，401K帐户， 银行账户，投资
帐户， 婚前财产，研究生学位等各种财产的划分。孩子的Custody还存在Visitation，
Supervised Visitation， 是否能带回国外，或者外州等问... 阅读全帖 |
|
j******a
发帖数: 1582 | 47 原文链接
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/9572187/Couple
注意下面这段话
“Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the choresand
in their perception of marriage” as being less sacred, Mr Hansen said.“In
these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-
paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially.
They can manage much easier if they divorce,” he said. Norway has a long
tradition of gender equality and childrearing is shar... 阅读全帖 |
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G***G
发帖数: 16778 | 48 leave him as far as possible.
the best way is to divorce.
divorce!!! |
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s****t
发帖数: 35 | 49 I think your points are completely biased and untrue. The conflicts between
the views of Chinese male and female living in US regarding family
responsibilities are severe. Both parties have severe bias and think their
spouse takes less responsibilities than they should.
But in general, I think Chinese females takes big advantages from both
countries traditions and should worship what they have now instead of
complaining. This can be phenomenally evidenced by the fact that most
Chinese woman don'... 阅读全帖 |
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b****n
发帖数: 3343 | 50 You need to file divorce paper in the state where you live. Each state may
have different residence requirement for purpose of divorce paper filing.
check your state family law. |
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