l****z
发帖数: 29846 | 1 April 26, 2012 by David Robertson
In case you missed it, a prostitution scandal involving the U.S. Secret
Service has occurred in a place named Columbia. At least that is what the
FoxNews.com website keeps saying in its stories.
For example, a FoxNews.com story dated 24 April 2012 starts with the
following statement:
Three more Secret Service employees are being forced out in connection
with the prostitution scandal in Columbia, agency assistant Director Paul S
. Morrissey said Tuesday evening.
As it turns out, there is more than one place named Columbia. So, which
Columbia is the site of the scandal being reported by FoxNews.com?
Is it Columbia, Alabama, or Columbia, California, or Columbia, Connecticut,
or Columbia, Illinois, or Columbia, Iowa, or Columbia, Kentucky, or Columbia
, Louisiana, or Columbia, Maine, or Columbia, Maryland, or Columbia,
Mississippi, or Columbia, Missouri, or Columbia, New Hampshire, or Columbia,
New Jersey, or Columbia, New York, or Columbia, North Carolina, or Columbia
, Pennsylvania, or Columbia, South Carolina, or Columbia, South Dakota, or
Columbia, Tennessee, or Columbia, Virginia, or Columbia, Wisconsin?
Perhaps the FoxNews.com website is onto something. A recent Washington Post
story states the following:
The prospect of Secret Service agents sharing embarrassing tales about
rank-and-file employees and superiors partying to the hilt could bring more
anguish to an agency reeling from scandal.
Those close to the accused employees said that in an effort to fight for
their jobs they could opt to divulge details of how colleagues spent some
of their downtime on presidential trips — drinking heavily, visiting strip
clubs and cavorting with women for hire.
“Of course it has happened before” said one agent not implicated in
the matter, remarking on the Secret Service’s history of occasionally
licentious partying. “This is not the first time. It really only blew up in
this case because the [U.S. Embassy] was alerted.”
This additional information prompts me to ask:
Is the Secret Service prostitution scandal limited to the nation of Colombia
, or does it also involve other places, such as places named Columbia?
When was the last time that the POTUS visited a place named Columbia?
Are Secret Service agents charged a $30-rate by prostitutes while the POTUS
is visiting a place named Columbia?
As in the GSA scandal (more of your tax dollars “at work”), I doubt that
the Secret Service agents involved in the prostitution scandal would have
participated in such a scandal if there were not already a culture within
the U.S. Secret Service that looks the other way whenever Secret Service
agents live la vida loca while on a business trip.
To make matters worse, this scandal involving the U.S. Secret Service – as
reported by the Washington Post – took place in Colombia. Had the scandal
taken place in Columbia – as reported by FoxNews.com – then those
prostitutes would have been U.S. citizens. It’s no wonder that President
Obama called the guilty Secret Service agents knuckleheads. He can’t take
credit for creating/saving U.S. jobs.
All of this brouhaha is the result of someone refusing to pay his fair share
. Instead of spreading his wealth around, the unnamed agent (who henceforth
will be referred to as John) tried to get away with paying only $30, as if
the woman were some kind of cheap whore. Just where did John think he was,
Columbia? The woman (who henceforth will be referred to as Trix) was hoping
to receive more than change from John. Perhaps now Trix will understand
what U.S. citizens mean when they claim to be screwed by the Obama
Administration.
Of course, it wouldn’t be fair to blame President Obama for what John did.
In order to be fair, Obama would have to be out of the Oval Office, and his
successor would have to blame Obama – that’s according to the rules that
Obama has been playing by.
None of this would have happened if Bill Clinton were still POTUS. Employees
of FoxNews.com would not be misspelling the location of a sex scandal,
because those employees know the correct spelling of the English translation
of La Casa Blanca.
However, Clinton is no longer POTUS, and the current POTUS is making
campaign stops throughout the USA. So, it’s reasonable to ask “
Prostitution scandal where?” because Secret Service agents have to go
wherever the POTUS goes. It’s even possible that the current POTUS will
make a campaign stop in a place named Columbia.
P.S.: You can credit (or blame) Fox News personality Greg Gutfeld for my
attempt at satire in the above post. He influences me whenever I listen to
his monologues on the Fox News show The Five. Greg’s co-hosts on the show (
Andrea Tantaros, Bob Beckel, Dana Perino, Eric Bolling, Juan Williams,
Kimberly Guilfoyle) all have interesting things to say, but none of them is
quite the wordsmith that Greg is. |
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