p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 1 Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music
practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142405274870411150457605971
By AMY CHUA
Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at their home in New Haven,
Conn.
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically
successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math
whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether
they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are
some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
· attend a sleepover
· have a playdate
· be in a school play
· complain about not being in a school play
· watch TV or play computer games
· choose their own extracurricular activities
· get any grade less than an A
· not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
· play any instrument other than the piano or violin
· not play the piano or violin.
I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian,
Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know
some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are
not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "
Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.
From Ms. Chua's album: 'Mean me with Lulu in hotel room... with score taped
to TV!'
All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they
usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western
friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their
instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the
first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.
Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of
studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between
Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50
Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the
Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good
for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.
" By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead,
the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their
children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects
successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then
there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies
indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend
approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with
their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in
sports teams.
http://online.wsj.com/public/page/0_0_WP_3001.html?currentPlayi
When it comes to parenting, the Chinese seem to produce children who display
academic excellence, musical mastery and professional success - or so the
stereotype goes. WSJ's Christina Tsuei speaks to two moms raised by Chinese
immigrants who share what it was like growing up and how they hope to raise
their children.
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at
it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own
never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences
. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child
will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where
Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy
produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is
crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a
child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or
ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds
confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it
easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.
Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can't. Once
when I was young—maybe more than once—when I was extremely disrespectful
to my mother, my father angrily called me "garbage" in our native Hokkien
dialect. It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I
had done. But it didn't damage my self-esteem or anything like that. I knew
exactly how highly he thought of me. I didn't actually think I was
worthless or feel like a piece of garbage.
As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in
English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned
that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One
guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave
early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the
remaining guests.
The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable
—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their
daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have
to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever
mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating
disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast
his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She
later told me that made her feel like garbage.)
Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can
only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You're
lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western
parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about
achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed
about how their kids turned out.
I've thought long and hard about how Chinese parents can get away with what
they do. I think there are three big differences between the Chinese and
Western parental mind-sets.
First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their
children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if
they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children
about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or
at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their
children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not
fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.
Newborn Amy Chua in her mother's arms, a year after her parents arrived in
the U.S.
For example, if a child comes home with an A-minus on a test, a Western
parent will most likely praise the child. The Chinese mother will gasp in
horror and ask what went wrong. If the child comes home with a B on the test
, some Western parents will still praise the child. Other Western parents
will sit their child down and express disapproval, but they will be careful
not to make their child feel inadequate or insecure, and they will not call
their child "stupid," "worthless" or "a disgrace." Privately, the Western
parents may worry that their child does not test well or have aptitude in
the subject or that there is something wrong with the curriculum and
possibly the whole school. If the child's grades do not improve, they may
eventually schedule a meeting with the school principal to challenge the way
the subject is being taught or to call into question the teacher's
credentials.
If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be
a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would
then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with
her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.
Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child
can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it
's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to
substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child.
The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take
the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there
is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the
home.)
Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The
reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of
Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and
done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in
the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training,
interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that
Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying
them and making them proud.
Sophia playing at Carnegie Hall in 2007.
By contrast, I don't think most Westerners have the same view of children
being permanently indebted to their parents. My husband, Jed, actually has
the opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me
. "They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who foist life on their
kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't
owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This
strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parent.
Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their
children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and
preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high
school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no
Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school
play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal
every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God
help any Chinese kid who tried that one.
Don't get me wrong: It's not that Chinese parents don't care about their
children. Just the opposite. They would give up anything for their children.
It's just an entirely different parenting model.
Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still
playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little
White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute
—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its
master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the
two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.
Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of
her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands
together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart.
Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she
was giving up and stomped off.
"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.
"You can't make me."
"Oh yes, I can."
Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She
grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back
together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be
destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd
donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The
Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you
were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her
with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday
parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I
told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was
secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly,
self-indulgent and pathetic.
Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even
doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu
was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique
—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that
possibility?
"You just don't believe in her," I accused.
"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."
"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."
"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.
"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their
special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in
their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'
m willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated.
And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take
them to Yankees games."
I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic
I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I
wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The
house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there
seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.
Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her
right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like
that.
Lulu realized it the same time I did. I held my breath. She tried it
tentatively again. Then she played it more confidently and faster, and still
the rhythm held. A moment later, she was beaming.
"Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and
over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed,
and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The
Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me
and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her."
Even Jed gave me credit for that one. Western parents worry a lot about
their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you
can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side
, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do
something you thought you couldn't.
There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming
, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For
their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their
children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners,
who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it'
s a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's
best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of
how to do that.
Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging
them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing
positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese
believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them
for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them
with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.
—Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School and author of "Day of Empire"
and "World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred
and Global Instability." This essay is excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the
Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, to be published Tuesday by the Penguin Press, a
member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © 2011 by Amy Chua. | p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 2 在别的版面看到对这篇文章贬多过於褒，而且一概否认中国妈妈是这个样子。
我觉得台湾妈妈倒是很多是这样子的。 | B****n
发帖数: 11290 | 3 Wa, 當她的小孩很辛苦阿 Their preferences are often overrided; their fun is
based on hard work rather than play. 這是什麼樣的童年阿 呵呵
"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at
it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own
never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences
."
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 在别的版面看到对这篇文章贬多过於褒，而且一概否认中国妈妈是这个样子。
: 我觉得台湾妈妈倒是很多是这样子的。
| p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 4 这是我的童年。
good at
preferences
【在 B****n 的大作中提到】
: Wa, 當她的小孩很辛苦阿 Their preferences are often overrided; their fun is
: based on hard work rather than play. 這是什麼樣的童年阿 呵呵
: "What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at
: it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own
: never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences
: ."
| J*C
发帖数: 4579 | 5 中国人习惯隐恶扬善
台人坦白多了
那你会是这样的妈妈吗?
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 在别的版面看到对这篇文章贬多过於褒，而且一概否认中国妈妈是这个样子。
: 我觉得台湾妈妈倒是很多是这样子的。
| p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 6 不知道我会是怎样耶。不过我父母和这位教授不同的是，他们从来不会说难听的话。他
们虽严格，但是
嘴巴很乾净，毕竟是有教养的人。
我再年轻一点的时候，会觉得小孩应该有无拘无束的童年，每天玩耍不补习不作课外的
功课，吃冰淇淋
当饭也没问题。现在好想已经慢慢改观了。
【在 J*C 的大作中提到】
: 中国人习惯隐恶扬善
: 台人坦白多了
: 那你会是这样的妈妈吗?
| t****e
发帖数: 7 | 7 我媽的好友生兩娃都是ABC，也是搞的跟Amy Chau 兩娃一樣。每回她倆來台灣公演就是
俺最難過的日子，偏偏她們那XX愛樂又天天來公演。俺媽就開始數落俺樣樣不如人：鋼
琴爛（可俺挺會跳舞的），數學差（可俺國文還行），連長得醜都能拿來說。一會那兩娃又都得了布什獎，個名牌大學又都發獎學金讓她們入學，我媽看我那眼神，我真巴不得我沒出生。
結果俺長大了，那兩娃最輝煌的時期也大概就是國高中時期了。嫁了白人跟ABC，兩女
娃兒都挺能折騰人的。日子也就像一般美國人那樣過了。我媽才不GGYY。
反正在那一代人的眼裡，只有彈鋼琴、拉小提琴、理科好的孩子才招人疼。這些父母也
只是照人家制定的規則在玩。
這Amy也不是中國人，明明是美國人，該利用這Chinese一字打文章的時候到挺順手的。 | l***5
发帖数: 3433 | 8 冰淇淋当饭实在不是好主意啊
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 不知道我会是怎样耶。不过我父母和这位教授不同的是，他们从来不会说难听的话。他
: 们虽严格，但是
: 嘴巴很乾净，毕竟是有教养的人。
: 我再年轻一点的时候，会觉得小孩应该有无拘无束的童年，每天玩耍不补习不作课外的
: 功课，吃冰淇淋
: 当饭也没问题。现在好想已经慢慢改观了。
| J*C
发帖数: 4579 | 9 很多事 遇到后才知道的
快生一个来体验吧~
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 不知道我会是怎样耶。不过我父母和这位教授不同的是，他们从来不会说难听的话。他
: 们虽严格，但是
: 嘴巴很乾净，毕竟是有教养的人。
: 我再年轻一点的时候，会觉得小孩应该有无拘无束的童年，每天玩耍不补习不作课外的
: 功课，吃冰淇淋
: 当饭也没问题。现在好想已经慢慢改观了。
| l***5
发帖数: 3433 | 10 让她先把婚结了吧
【在 J*C 的大作中提到】
: 很多事 遇到后才知道的
: 快生一个来体验吧~
| | | J*C
发帖数: 4579 | 11 婚早晚都可结的
【在 l***5 的大作中提到】
: 让她先把婚结了吧
| b********n
发帖数: 4256 | 12 这篇文章，写的有点extreme.
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 在别的版面看到对这篇文章贬多过於褒，而且一概否认中国妈妈是这个样子。
: 我觉得台湾妈妈倒是很多是这样子的。
| b********n
发帖数: 4256 | 13 版主一定会是个好妈妈的。
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 不知道我会是怎样耶。不过我父母和这位教授不同的是，他们从来不会说难听的话。他
: 们虽严格，但是
: 嘴巴很乾净，毕竟是有教养的人。
: 我再年轻一点的时候，会觉得小孩应该有无拘无束的童年，每天玩耍不补习不作课外的
: 功课，吃冰淇淋
: 当饭也没问题。现在好想已经慢慢改观了。
| b********n
发帖数: 4256 | 14 讲讲而已。。
【在 l***5 的大作中提到】
: 冰淇淋当饭实在不是好主意啊
| b********n
发帖数: 4256 | 15 这个怎么可以？
【在 J*C 的大作中提到】
: 婚早晚都可结的
| B****n
发帖数: 11290 | 16 看了這篇(沒看完)後 覺得自己真的很幸運
我的家庭教育和這個人說得很不同 小時候我爸常問我"小羊為什麼在樹上" 我的回答總
是千奇百怪 每次都不一樣 我爸從來沒跟我說那個才是正確答案 只是多鼓勵我思考 或
是我回答了一個答案 他問我為什麼有這樣的答案 引發我進一步的思考
我小時候家裡經濟情況普通 應我自己的要求 我爸媽讓我到老師那學了一會鋼琴 為什
麼是一會 因為我經常練一練就在鋼琴鍵上睡著了 練習太枯燥了 後來我就自己不去了
我媽多年後有時還會講我幾句 但從沒真正的怪我 現在想想學琴對爸媽是很大的負擔
俺真是挺不爭氣的 呵呵
我籃球乒乓球象棋的啟蒙都是我爸小時候帶著我玩 有了一點基礎 後來對很多其他的球
類運動棋纇橋牌也有了興趣 自己就去玩去學了
現在想想 我學什麼 可以說幾乎沒有什麼是被逼的 我對我自己的子女也會類似的方式
引導他們 看看他們真正的興趣和能力在什麼地方 希望他們有個開心的童年
,
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
: Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music
: practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?
: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142405274870411150457605971
: By AMY CHUA
: Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at their home in New Haven,
: Conn.
: A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically
: successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math
: whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether
| p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 17 很好呀。布爸爸的创意的确创造了优秀的布教授，不管是学业或人格上。
了
【在 B****n 的大作中提到】
: 看了這篇(沒看完)後 覺得自己真的很幸運
: 我的家庭教育和這個人說得很不同 小時候我爸常問我"小羊為什麼在樹上" 我的回答總
: 是千奇百怪 每次都不一樣 我爸從來沒跟我說那個才是正確答案 只是多鼓勵我思考 或
: 是我回答了一個答案 他問我為什麼有這樣的答案 引發我進一步的思考
: 我小時候家裡經濟情況普通 應我自己的要求 我爸媽讓我到老師那學了一會鋼琴 為什
: 麼是一會 因為我經常練一練就在鋼琴鍵上睡著了 練習太枯燥了 後來我就自己不去了
: 我媽多年後有時還會講我幾句 但從沒真正的怪我 現在想想學琴對爸媽是很大的負擔
: 俺真是挺不爭氣的 呵呵
: 我籃球乒乓球象棋的啟蒙都是我爸小時候帶著我玩 有了一點基礎 後來對很多其他的球
: 類運動棋纇橋牌也有了興趣 自己就去玩去學了
| p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 18 那个刚刚过世的台湾广告教父孙大伟，他就跟我说过，以前他两个儿子小的时候，只要
老婆不在，他都
喂儿子冰淇淋都午餐，因为父子们都只想吃冰淇淋，不想吃正食。呵呵。
【在 l***5 的大作中提到】
: 冰淇淋当饭实在不是好主意啊
| B****n
发帖数: 11290 | 19 挖 謝謝 不過俺不優秀 但是我感謝我父母對我的教育方式
貼一個我很喜歡的歌吧
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 很好呀。布爸爸的创意的确创造了优秀的布教授，不管是学业或人格上。
:
: 了
| p***n
发帖数: 17190 | 20 這家人的眼神真強悍啊
躲遠點
,
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
: Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music
: practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?
: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142405274870411150457605971
: By AMY CHUA
: Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at their home in New Haven,
: Conn.
: A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically
: successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math
: whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether
| | | p***n
发帖数: 17190 | 21 生孩子卻要十個月
嗯
【在 J*C 的大作中提到】
: 婚早晚都可结的
| p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 22 这位蔡教授其实是防卫心很强的的人。你看她在两张照片里都是手在胸前交握。
【在 p***n 的大作中提到】
: 這家人的眼神真強悍啊
: 躲遠點
:
: ,
| J*C
发帖数: 4579 | 23 这对成年人的血管不好
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 那个刚刚过世的台湾广告教父孙大伟，他就跟我说过，以前他两个儿子小的时候，只要
: 老婆不在，他都
: 喂儿子冰淇淋都午餐，因为父子们都只想吃冰淇淋，不想吃正食。呵呵。
| b********n
发帖数: 4256 | 24 赞一下布教授家里诱导启发式的教育。。。
填鸭式的教育，效果往往适得其反。
了
【在 B****n 的大作中提到】
: 看了這篇(沒看完)後 覺得自己真的很幸運
: 我的家庭教育和這個人說得很不同 小時候我爸常問我"小羊為什麼在樹上" 我的回答總
: 是千奇百怪 每次都不一樣 我爸從來沒跟我說那個才是正確答案 只是多鼓勵我思考 或
: 是我回答了一個答案 他問我為什麼有這樣的答案 引發我進一步的思考
: 我小時候家裡經濟情況普通 應我自己的要求 我爸媽讓我到老師那學了一會鋼琴 為什
: 麼是一會 因為我經常練一練就在鋼琴鍵上睡著了 練習太枯燥了 後來我就自己不去了
: 我媽多年後有時還會講我幾句 但從沒真正的怪我 現在想想學琴對爸媽是很大的負擔
: 俺真是挺不爭氣的 呵呵
: 我籃球乒乓球象棋的啟蒙都是我爸小時候帶著我玩 有了一點基礎 後來對很多其他的球
: 類運動棋纇橋牌也有了興趣 自己就去玩去學了
| s*******e
发帖数: 3077 | 25 是么，怎么我在这里遇到的台湾妈妈都不是这个样子的
是我看到的样本size太小
还是有代沟。。。。。。
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 在别的版面看到对这篇文章贬多过於褒，而且一概否认中国妈妈是这个样子。
: 我觉得台湾妈妈倒是很多是这样子的。
| s*******e
发帖数: 3077 | 26 你不如这样来看问题
北美这边的70后80初年代生的大陆人不少都是艰苦物资贫乏年代过来的
小时候父母能提供的选择并不多，生活都很辛苦
有多少父母有这个精力和金钱能像文中这样呢
能健康快乐成长到今天不容易，大部分人对父母都是心怀感恩的
BTW.坦白说，喜欢generalize是个挺不好的习惯，
更不要说概括一个14亿人口的地区十有八九是愚蠢的
【在 J*C 的大作中提到】
: 中国人习惯隐恶扬善
: 台人坦白多了
: 那你会是这样的妈妈吗?
| p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 27 嗯。我可能也stereotyping了一下。不过我没说清楚，我的印象也是上一辈在台湾的妈
妈。那时觉得
大部分人都以念书才能出头天为唯一目标，所以对子女的教养就会有蔡教授那样的行为
表现。现在台湾
很多元化了，人的观念也改变许多，念不念书和最终成就其实关系比较不大。
【在 s*******e 的大作中提到】
: 是么，怎么我在这里遇到的台湾妈妈都不是这个样子的
: 是我看到的样本size太小
: 还是有代沟。。。。。。
| p***n
发帖数: 17190 | 28 嗯
我老婆與我岳母說
原來美國芝大物博也不過如此
從此不再有學歷迷思...
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: 嗯。我可能也stereotyping了一下。不过我没说清楚，我的印象也是上一辈在台湾的妈
: 妈。那时觉得
: 大部分人都以念书才能出头天为唯一目标，所以对子女的教养就会有蔡教授那样的行为
: 表现。现在台湾
: 很多元化了，人的观念也改变许多，念不念书和最终成就其实关系比较不大。
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