l*******8
发帖数: 133 | 1 上次老妈签证被拒了, 准在再签, 重写了一份给签证官的信, 麻烦看一下
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am XXX and I am doing my internship in USA. I would like to invite my
mother, Mrs. XXX to visit the USA for tourism purpose and to meet me. I will
take her for a trip to both west and east coast, and show her the
environment I work in as well. (The travel plan is shown as Appendix I)
Here are some details I should bring up, which my mother probably forgot to
mention last time:
1. My XXX internship is about to finish and I’m returning to China for
my exchange study at XXX University in September. I still have 10 days of
paid vacation unused. I plan to ask for 4 more unpaid vacation day, taking
advantage of those 14 days plus 3 weekends (20 days in total) and have a
good trip with my mother in the US.
2. My father will not accompany my mother for the trip but stay in China.
He works for the government and he cannot be granded that long leave.
3. My mother has been working with XXX Newspaper since
1996 and she is a loyal employee ever since - she would not even switch job
in China. She is a 事业单位(government-owned enterprise) employee and she
will get good retirement package when she turns 55.
4. My mother may not have managed to show the whole financial picture of
our family:
My parents’ salary income is around x per year, excluding bonuses and
allowance. We also have X monthly income from house rental and monthly
income from some family business (stock investments and some other
investments). Our family’s yearly income was around x last year. Including
my stipends, this year’s family income will be more than x RMB.
5. I am both a bachelor and master candidate at XXX. I just applied for
graduation after my mother’s last visa interview (because X exchange
requires it) and I have not got my diploma yet. My mother does not quite
understand the situation and probably thought I already graduated.
6. For the reason why my parents did not visit Europe: Finland has good
weather from late May to late August, but I was returning to China every
summer. My time in Finland was loaded up with study as well. What is more, I
get stipends from this internship and I want to use them up instead of
suffering RMB appreciation :) (See my saved stipends at Appendix II) Besides
, I will still continue my study in Finland but probably I will not visit
the United States in the near future.
7. My mother does not speak English and she was afraid of getting lost in
the United States. I promised to fetch her at Los Angeles International
Airport and take care of the whole trip. She will definitely not stay long
in this foreign environment.
Your kind consideration to this request is greatly appreciated. I sincerely
hope my mother can come with me for the trip; otherwise it will be a lonely
travel again with myself. You can always reach at XXX
Thank you! | E********e
发帖数: 1734 | | q********g
发帖数: 10694 | 3 开头很不专业。另外类似“ is about to ”的词语少用，尤其是给VO的信。我就看到
这里，看不下去了。 | l*******8
发帖数: 133 | 4 版主能指导一下吗?
万分感谢
【在 q********g 的大作中提到】
: 开头很不专业。另外类似“ is about to ”的词语少用，尤其是给VO的信。我就看到
: 这里，看不下去了。
| q********g
发帖数: 10694 | 5 那一句话做个例子吧：My mother does not speak English and she was afraid of
getting lost
1.俗套，不会说英语根本不是个理由。
2.语法，一个并列从句两个时态。
3.误用时态，你母亲以前害怕在US走失了？有可能理解是你母亲以前来过，走失过？
4.negative。害怕、走失，干脆在家里呆着好了。
呵呵，你的一句话，这么多错误。我建议你还是从基本做起，好好修改。
如果VO看了信，一读就和邀请人自身的学位身份不相符，这个是很难给申请人加分的。
【在 l*******8 的大作中提到】
: 版主能指导一下吗?
: 万分感谢
| E********e
发帖数: 1734 | 6 你这封信问题比较多：
1.太长
2.语法错误和英语用法错误多
3.重点不突出
4.有的地方不适合签证的规则（不能帮助获得签证）
我侄子5月11号签。我现在在准备他的签证，很多事情很头痛。我理解父母被拒后做子女的痛苦。如果我侄子签过，我愿意花时间好好帮你看、改这封信。和你共同讨论如何把这封信写好。
另外开个玩笑，直接写 “Dear Sir”就好了，现在成都没有女签证官。2006-2010成都有个韩国妹妹，非常nice,无论F1还是B1/B2,几乎都给过。可惜的是后来调走了。另外在2003-2005成都还出现过一个台湾女，名字好像叫做“Ann"，签F1不怎么好签,她对B1/B2如何不清楚，2005年左右调走了。现在成都没有女的。
will
to
【在 l*******8 的大作中提到】
: 上次老妈签证被拒了, 准在再签, 重写了一份给签证官的信, 麻烦看一下
: Dear Sir or Madam,
: I am XXX and I am doing my internship in USA. I would like to invite my
: mother, Mrs. XXX to visit the USA for tourism purpose and to meet me. I will
: take her for a trip to both west and east coast, and show her the
: environment I work in as well. (The travel plan is shown as Appendix I)
: Here are some details I should bring up, which my mother probably forgot to
: mention last time:
: 1. My XXX internship is about to finish and I’m returning to China for
: my exchange study at XXX University in September. I still have 10 days of
| m******n
发帖数: 15691 | 7 语法错误多多， 读的不顺， 类似Chinglish
不过嘛，错误多点也不见的坏事，写的太好，VO还怀疑移民倾向呢，
主要是太长了，看到第一眼就觉得废时间
2－300 words，2－3段话
说话婉转些，变着湾说
不要用1 2 3这些
给你个参考吧
语法就不说了
第一段你要表明你的学校，表不表专业看你自己的情况
中间的段落可以这么说，
由于我父亲xxxx，这次只邀请我妈妈和我一起xxx，准备去xxx，再去xxx，再做xxx，
由于我妈妈将要xxx，预计只待x月，然后回国 将会把母女这段愉快的xxxx带回去和父亲
分享，以解父亲的思念之情
最后说些感谢话 就差不多了
上次老妈签证被拒了, 准在再签, 重写了一份给签证官的信, 麻烦看一下
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am XXX and I am doing my internship in USA. I would like to invite my
mother, Mrs. XXX to visit the USA for tourism purpose and to meet me. I will
take her for a trip to both west and east coast, and show her the
environment I work in as well. (The travel plan is shown as Appendix I)
Here are some details I should bring up, which my mother probably forgot to
mention last time:
1. My XXX internship is about to finish and I’m returning to China for
my exchange study at XXX University in September. I still have 10 days of
paid vacation unused. I plan to ask for 4 more unpaid vacation day, taking
advantage of those 14 days plus 3 weekends (20 days in total) and have a
good trip with my mother in the US.
2. My father will not accompany my mother for the trip but stay in China.
He works for the government and he cannot be granded that long leave.
3. My mother has been working with XXX Newspaper since
1996 and she is a loyal employee ever since - she would not even switch job
in China. She is a 事业单位(government-owned enterprise) employee and she
will get good retirement package when she turns 55.
4. My mother may not have managed to show the whole financial picture of
our family:
My parents’ salary income is around x per year, excluding bonuses and
allowance. We also have X monthly income from house rental and monthly
income from some family business (stock investments and some other
investments). Our family’s yearly income was around x last year. Including
my stipends, this year’s family income will be more than x RMB.
5. I am both a bachelor and master candidate at XXX. I just applied for
graduation after my mother’s last visa interview (because X exchange
requires it) and I have not got my diploma yet. My mother does not quite
understand the situation and probably thought I already graduated.
6. For the reason why my parents did not visit Europe: Finland has good
weather from late May to late August, but I was returning to China every
summer. My time in Finland was loaded up with study as well. What is more, I
get stipends from this internship and I want to use them up instead of
suffering RMB appreciation :) (See my saved stipends at Appendix II) Besides
, I will still continue my study in Finland but probably I will not visit
the United States in the near future.
7. My mother does not speak English and she was afraid of getting lost in
the United States. I promised to fetch her at Los Angeles International
Airport and take care of the whole trip. She will definitely not stay long
in this foreign environment.
Your kind consideration to this request is greatly appreciated. I sincerely
hope my mother can come with me for the trip; otherwise it will be a lonely
travel again with myself. You can always reach at XXX
Thank you!
【在 l*******8 的大作中提到】
: 上次老妈签证被拒了, 准在再签, 重写了一份给签证官的信, 麻烦看一下
: Dear Sir or Madam,
: I am XXX and I am doing my internship in USA. I would like to invite my
: mother, Mrs. XXX to visit the USA for tourism purpose and to meet me. I will
: take her for a trip to both west and east coast, and show her the
: environment I work in as well. (The travel plan is shown as Appendix I)
: Here are some details I should bring up, which my mother probably forgot to
: mention last time:
: 1. My XXX internship is about to finish and I’m returning to China for
: my exchange study at XXX University in September. I still have 10 days of
| m******n
发帖数: 15691 | 8 关于欧洲之行未成，想要特别说明的话，就简单这么说
父母本来早就去探望我
可是父母不适应寒冷的北欧天气，即使夏天那里也比美国冷的多，所以这次借着美国春
暖花
开的春夏之际到美国玩
语法错误多多， 读的不顺， 类似Chinglish
不过嘛，错误多点也不见的坏事，写的太好，VO还怀疑移民倾向呢，
主要是太长了，看到第一眼就觉得废时间
2－300 words，2－3段话
说话婉转些，变着湾说
不要用1 2 3这些
给你个参考吧
语法就不说了
第一段你要表明你的学校，表不表专业看你自己的情况
中间的段落可以这么说，
由于我父亲xxxx，这次只邀请我妈妈和我一起xxx，准备去xxx，再去xxx，再做xxx，
由于我妈妈将要xxx，预计只待x月，然后回国 将会把母女这段愉快的xxxx带回去和父亲
分享，以解父亲的思念之情
最后说些感谢话 就差不多了
上次老妈签证被拒了, 准在再签, 重写了一份给签证官的信, 麻烦看一下
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am XXX and I am doing my internship in USA. I would like to invite my
mother, Mrs. XXX to visit the USA for tourism purpose and to meet me. I will
take her for a trip to both west and east coast, and show her the
environment I work in as well. (The travel plan is shown as Appendix I)
Here are some details I should bring up, which my mother probably forgot to
mention last time:
1. My XXX internship is about to finish and I’m returning to China for
my exchange study at XXX University in September. I still have 10 days of
paid vacation unused. I plan to ask for 4 more unpaid vacation day, taking
advantage of those 14 days plus 3 weekends (20 days in total) and have a
good trip with my mother in the US.
2. My father will not accompany my mother for the trip but stay in China.
He works for the government and he cannot be granded that long leave.
3. My mother has been working with XXX Newspaper since
1996 and she is a loyal employee ever since - she would not even switch job
in China. She is a 事业单位(government-owned enterprise) employee and she
will get good retirement package when she turns 55.
4. My mother may not have managed to show the whole financial picture of
our family:
My parents’ salary income is around x per year, excluding bonuses and
allowance. We also have X monthly income from house rental and monthly
income from some family business (stock investments and some other
investments). Our family’s yearly income was around x last year. Including
my stipends, this year’s family income will be more than x RMB.
5. I am both a bachelor and master candidate at XXX. I just applied for
graduation after my mother’s last visa interview (because X exchange
requires it) and I have not got my diploma yet. My mother does not quite
understand the situation and probably thought I already graduated.
6. For the reason why my parents did not visit Europe: Finland has good
weather from late May to late August, but I was returning to China every
summer. My time in Finland was loaded up with study as well. What is more, I
get stipends from this internship and I want to use them up instead of
suffering RMB appreciation :) (See my saved stipends at Appendix II) Besides
, I will still continue my study in Finland but probably I will not visit
the United States in the near future.
7. My mother does not speak English and she was afraid of getting lost in
the United States. I promised to fetch her at Los Angeles International
Airport and take care of the whole trip. She will definitely not stay long
in this foreign environment.
Your kind consideration to this request is greatly appreciated. I sincerely
hope my mother can come with me for the trip; otherwise it will be a lonely
travel again with myself. You can always reach at XXX
Thank you!
【在 m******n 的大作中提到】
: 语法错误多多， 读的不顺， 类似Chinglish
: 不过嘛，错误多点也不见的坏事，写的太好，VO还怀疑移民倾向呢，
: 主要是太长了，看到第一眼就觉得废时间
: 2－300 words，2－3段话
: 说话婉转些，变着湾说
: 不要用1 2 3这些
: 给你个参考吧
: 语法就不说了
: 第一段你要表明你的学校，表不表专业看你自己的情况
: 中间的段落可以这么说，
| l*******8
发帖数: 133 | 9 主要想着上次被拒了，这次得准备一个详细解释上次情况的文件。
下面是上次写的信，感觉正式了就太生硬，没有感情。
Dear Chief Consul,
My name is XXX and I’m doing my XXX internship in the United States. I
’m writing this letter to invite my mother,XXX, to visit me and enjoy the
beautiful summer here.
My parents have been working hard and I’m planning for a long time for an
exotic trip outside Asia as a reward. I got 16 vacation days (10 day paid
vacation + 6 day weekends not including any national holidays) and I also
saved some money from this internship. It is a perfect time to invite them
over, enjoy the beautiful East Coast, and if we have time, California as
well.I’m returning China to start my exchange study in Peking University in
September. My mom can also help me take some stuff back home first, so I
won’t have too much luggage to carry when I leave the US.
My parents have enough savings to pay for my mother’s trip, which costs
approximately $3,000. I will also partly finance her trip using my stipends
to the extent I can. I hoped both of my parents could come and stay for a
while, but unfortunately my father is too busy to come.
I’m the person who’s responsible of planning for my mom’s trip and I will
fetch her at the airport. If you have any question, please do not hesitate
to contact me at XXX
Here is the list of documents I have for your reference:
Copy of my acceptance letter
Copy of my DS-2019 and DS-7002 forms
Copy of my Passport, Visa, I-94, Driver’s license and Vehicle title
Copy of my W-2 Wage and Tax Statement
Copy of my student status certificate and my transcript
Copy of the acceptance letter to XXX University
Thank you very much for your time and I appreciate your kindness and help! | m******n
发帖数: 15691 | 10 写邀请信，你干嘛老说自己肯定要回国啥的，用不着
什么叫 此地无银三百两
in
stipends
will
hesitate
【在 l*******8 的大作中提到】
: 主要想着上次被拒了，这次得准备一个详细解释上次情况的文件。
: 下面是上次写的信，感觉正式了就太生硬，没有感情。
: Dear Chief Consul,
: My name is XXX and I’m doing my XXX internship in the United States. I
: ’m writing this letter to invite my mother,XXX, to visit me and enjoy the
: beautiful summer here.
: My parents have been working hard and I’m planning for a long time for an
: exotic trip outside Asia as a reward. I got 16 vacation days (10 day paid
: vacation + 6 day weekends not including any national holidays) and I also
: saved some money from this internship. It is a perfect time to invite them
| | | t*******a
发帖数: 93 | 11 怪不得成都那么难签。一群男光棍，连个调侃的女同事都没有，工作肯定很郁闷。
子女的痛苦。如果我侄子签过，我愿意花时间好好帮你看、改这封信。和你共同讨论如
何把这封信写好。
都有个韩国妹妹，非常nice,无论F1还是B1/B2,几乎都给过。可惜的是后来调走了。另
外在2003-2005成都还出现过一个台湾女，名字好像叫做“Ann"，签F1不怎么好签,她对
B1/B2如何不清楚，2005年左右调走了。现在成都没有女的。
【在 E********e 的大作中提到】
: 你这封信问题比较多：
: 1.太长
: 2.语法错误和英语用法错误多
: 3.重点不突出
: 4.有的地方不适合签证的规则（不能帮助获得签证）
: 我侄子5月11号签。我现在在准备他的签证，很多事情很头痛。我理解父母被拒后做子女的痛苦。如果我侄子签过，我愿意花时间好好帮你看、改这封信。和你共同讨论如何把这封信写好。
: 另外开个玩笑，直接写 “Dear Sir”就好了，现在成都没有女签证官。2006-2010成都有个韩国妹妹，非常nice,无论F1还是B1/B2,几乎都给过。可惜的是后来调走了。另外在2003-2005成都还出现过一个台湾女，名字好像叫做“Ann"，签F1不怎么好签,她对B1/B2如何不清楚，2005年左右调走了。现在成都没有女的。
:
: will
: to
| s*********l
发帖数: 115 | 12 不好意思，我觉得你的信有几个问题：
1，英语不够流畅
2。太长，重点不突出
3。表达太中国化，没有围绕美国签证的要求阐述你的优势，而是一股脑把所有的东西
摆出来。没有人有耐心看的
will
to
【在 l*******8 的大作中提到】
: 上次老妈签证被拒了, 准在再签, 重写了一份给签证官的信, 麻烦看一下
: Dear Sir or Madam,
: I am XXX and I am doing my internship in USA. I would like to invite my
: mother, Mrs. XXX to visit the USA for tourism purpose and to meet me. I will
: take her for a trip to both west and east coast, and show her the
: environment I work in as well. (The travel plan is shown as Appendix I)
: Here are some details I should bring up, which my mother probably forgot to
: mention last time:
: 1. My XXX internship is about to finish and I’m returning to China for
: my exchange study at XXX University in September. I still have 10 days of
| a******e
发帖数: 36306 | 13 这位真是门清阿
子女的痛苦。如果我侄子签过，我愿意花时间好好帮你看、改这封信。和你共同讨论如
何把这封信写好。
都有个韩国妹妹，非常nice,无论F1还是B1/B2,几乎都给过。可惜的是后来调走了。另
外在2003-2005成都还出现过一个台湾女，名字好像叫做“Ann"，签F1不怎么好签,她对
B1/B2如何不清楚，2005年左
【在 E********e 的大作中提到】
: 你这封信问题比较多：
: 1.太长
: 2.语法错误和英语用法错误多
: 3.重点不突出
: 4.有的地方不适合签证的规则（不能帮助获得签证）
: 我侄子5月11号签。我现在在准备他的签证，很多事情很头痛。我理解父母被拒后做子女的痛苦。如果我侄子签过，我愿意花时间好好帮你看、改这封信。和你共同讨论如何把这封信写好。
: 另外开个玩笑，直接写 “Dear Sir”就好了，现在成都没有女签证官。2006-2010成都有个韩国妹妹，非常nice,无论F1还是B1/B2,几乎都给过。可惜的是后来调走了。另外在2003-2005成都还出现过一个台湾女，名字好像叫做“Ann"，签F1不怎么好签,她对B1/B2如何不清楚，2005年左右调走了。现在成都没有女的。
:
: will
: to
| c******e
发帖数: 3843 | 14 好长啊。。。直接说来美国旅游顺便看你，爸妈负担费用就可以了吧。。 | c******e
发帖数: 3843 | 15 你这个也好长啊，问题是木有重点。。我给爸妈的信不到5行，然后下边就是行程和时
间安排。看着很简单。签证官也不愿意读这么多吧。。
【在 m******n 的大作中提到】
: 写邀请信，你干嘛老说自己肯定要回国啥的，用不着
: 什么叫 此地无银三百两
:
: in
: stipends
: will
: hesitate
|
|
