p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 1 Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music
practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142405274870411150457605971
By AMY CHUA
Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at their home in New Haven,
Conn.
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically
successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math
whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether
they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are
some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
· attend a sleepover
· have a playdate
· be in a school play
· complain about not being in a school play
· watch TV or play computer games
· choose their own extracurricular activities
· get any grade less than an A
· not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
· play any instrument other than the piano or violin
· not play the piano or violin.
I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian,
Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know
some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are
not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "
Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.
From Ms. Chua's album: 'Mean me with Lulu in hotel room... with score taped
to TV!'
All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they
usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western
friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their
instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the
first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.
Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of
studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between
Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50
Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the
Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good
for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.
" By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead,
the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their
children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects
successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then
there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies
indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend
approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with
their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in
sports teams.
http://online.wsj.com/public/page/0_0_WP_3001.html?currentPlayi
When it comes to parenting, the Chinese seem to produce children who display
academic excellence, musical mastery and professional success - or so the
stereotype goes. WSJ's Christina Tsuei speaks to two moms raised by Chinese
immigrants who share what it was like growing up and how they hope to raise
their children.
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at
it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own
never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences
. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child
will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where
Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy
produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is
crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a
child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or
ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds
confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it
easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.
Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can't. Once
when I was young—maybe more than once—when I was extremely disrespectful
to my mother, my father angrily called me "garbage" in our native Hokkien
dialect. It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I
had done. But it didn't damage my self-esteem or anything like that. I knew
exactly how highly he thought of me. I didn't actually think I was
worthless or feel like a piece of garbage.
As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in
English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned
that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One
guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave
early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the
remaining guests.
The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable
—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their
daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have
to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever
mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating
disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast
his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She
later told me that made her feel like garbage.)
Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can
only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You're
lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western
parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about
achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed
about how their kids turned out.
I've thought long and hard about how Chinese parents can get away with what
they do. I think there are three big differences between the Chinese and
Western parental mind-sets.
First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their
children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if
they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children
about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or
at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their
children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not
fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.
Newborn Amy Chua in her mother's arms, a year after her parents arrived in
the U.S.
For example, if a child comes home with an A-minus on a test, a Western
parent will most likely praise the child. The Chinese mother will gasp in
horror and ask what went wrong. If the child comes home with a B on the test
, some Western parents will still praise the child. Other Western parents
will sit their child down and express disapproval, but they will be careful
not to make their child feel inadequate or insecure, and they will not call
their child "stupid," "worthless" or "a disgrace." Privately, the Western
parents may worry that their child does not test well or have aptitude in
the subject or that there is something wrong with the curriculum and
possibly the whole school. If the child's grades do not improve, they may
eventually schedule a meeting with the school principal to challenge the way
the subject is being taught or to call into question the teacher's
credentials.
If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be
a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would
then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with
her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.
Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child
can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it
's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to
substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child.
The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take
the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there
is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the
home.)
Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The
reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of
Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and
done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in
the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training,
interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that
Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying
them and making them proud.
Sophia playing at Carnegie Hall in 2007.
By contrast, I don't think most Westerners have the same view of children
being permanently indebted to their parents. My husband, Jed, actually has
the opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me
. "They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who foist life on their
kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't
owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This
strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parent.
Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their
children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and
preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high
school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no
Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school
play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal
every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God
help any Chinese kid who tried that one.
Don't get me wrong: It's not that Chinese parents don't care about their
children. Just the opposite. They would give up anything for their children.
It's just an entirely different parenting model.
Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still
playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little
White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute
—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its
master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the
two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.
Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of
her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands
together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart.
Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she
was giving up and stomped off.
"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.
"You can't make me."
"Oh yes, I can."
Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She
grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back
together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be
destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd
donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The
Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you
were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her
with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday
parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I
told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was
secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly,
self-indulgent and pathetic.
Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even
doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu
was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique
—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that
possibility?
"You just don't believe in her," I accused.
"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."
"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."
"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.
"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their
special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in
their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'
m willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated.
And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take
them to Yankees games."
I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic
I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I
wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The
house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there
seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.
Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her
right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like
that.
Lulu realized it the same time I did. I held my breath. She tried it
tentatively again. Then she played it more confidently and faster, and still
the rhythm held. A moment later, she was beaming.
"Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and
over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed,
and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The
Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me
and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her."
Even Jed gave me credit for that one. Western parents worry a lot about
their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you
can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side
, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do
something you thought you couldn't.
There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming
, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For
their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their
children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners,
who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it'
s a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's
best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of
how to do that.
Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging
them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing
positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese
believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them
for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them
with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.
—Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School and author of "Day of Empire"
and "World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred
and Global Instability." This essay is excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the
Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, to be published Tuesday by the Penguin Press, a
member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © 2011 by Amy Chua. |
n*******8
发帖数: 1026 | 2 tooooooooooo looooooooong |
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 3 这个女人的个人选择而已, 小孩还没多大, 就来说成功.
整篇文章和horror story差不多 |
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 4 I'm completely with her, can not agree more |
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 5
你儿子打算这样管?
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: I'm completely with her, can not agree more
|
m****s
发帖数: 7397 | |
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 7
阿菲美人
【在 m****s 的大作中提到】
: Chua 越南人把
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 8 yes. discipline is the key to success
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: 阿菲美人
|
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 9
恩, 你自己儿子, 你爱怎么搞都是你的事
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: yes. discipline is the key to success
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 10 "What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at
it". |
|
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 11 of course
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: 恩, 你自己儿子, 你爱怎么搞都是你的事
|
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 12
at
没人当她是中国家长.
自称美国家长或者菲律宾家长无法博出位,赚眼球.
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: "What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at
: it".
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 13 in a general term, she's Asian parent. Most Asian parents are more strict
than Westerns
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: at
: 没人当她是中国家长.
: 自称美国家长或者菲律宾家长无法博出位,赚眼球.
|
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 14
你扯这个干什么?
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: in a general term, she's Asian parent. Most Asian parents are more strict
: than Westerns
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 15 that's the point.
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: 你扯这个干什么?
|
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 16
没point的时候, 说that's the point.
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: that's the point.
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 17 that's your understanding
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: 没point的时候, 说that's the point.
|
l*****z
发帖数: 13617 | 18 好惭愧！我这个当妈的太松散了，只知道和孩子玩，自己就不是个爱拼的人，咋教儿子
呢？ |
c*******k
发帖数: 554 | |
a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 20 All I can say is: ridiculous. I was really laughing while reading the
article.
Her way is: 棍棒出孝子。She forgets what's creativity.
Check the comments of this article. |
|
|
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 21
我倒是希望她在讽刺, 从标题到内容, 用词挺夸张的
【在 a*o 的大作中提到】
: All I can say is: ridiculous. I was really laughing while reading the
: article.
: Her way is: 棍棒出孝子。She forgets what's creativity.
: Check the comments of this article.
|
a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 22 非常夸张，福建人，小时候被父亲骂垃圾，现在用来骂她女儿。
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: 我倒是希望她在讽刺, 从标题到内容, 用词挺夸张的
|
g*******a
发帖数: 31586 | 23
我前一份工是在99店仓库搬货
我的老板和我说 我非常有discipline 不过我不同意他 而且我认为最重要的是NEVER
GIVE UP
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: yes. discipline is the key to success
|
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 24
永远不给上, 是吧
【在 g*******a 的大作中提到】
:
: 我前一份工是在99店仓库搬货
: 我的老板和我说 我非常有discipline 不过我不同意他 而且我认为最重要的是NEVER
: GIVE UP
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 25 never give up, easy said than done. one must first be a disciplined person
to have the 毅力 to last through
【在 g*******a 的大作中提到】
:
: 我前一份工是在99店仓库搬货
: 我的老板和我说 我非常有discipline 不过我不同意他 而且我认为最重要的是NEVER
: GIVE UP
|
d*******n
发帖数: 4913 | 26
我天天坚持发帖
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: never give up, easy said than done. one must first be a disciplined person
: to have the 毅力 to last through
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 27 haha, and persistent with the same questions everyday
【在 d*******n 的大作中提到】
:
: 我天天坚持发帖
|
d*******n
发帖数: 4913 | 28
yes 重复洗脑是营销的有效利器也是做名id的手法 不要告诉别人啊
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: haha, and persistent with the same questions everyday
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 29 zan huo xue huo yong
【在 d*******n 的大作中提到】
:
: yes 重复洗脑是营销的有效利器也是做名id的手法 不要告诉别人啊
|
g*******a
发帖数: 31586 | 30
谢谢 我去买饭
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: zan huo xue huo yong
|
|
|
b********r
发帖数: 7725 | 31 that's why when Chinese bully each other, the first ppl they'd like to
referred is mother. |
b*****8
发帖数: 1060 | 32 》》Tenacious practice, practice, practice is
crucial for excellence;
that's so wrong! |
b*****8
发帖数: 1060 | 33 disagree about 毅力, life should be interesting driven otherwise it is
miserable.
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: never give up, easy said than done. one must first be a disciplined person
: to have the 毅力 to last through
|
p***y
发帖数: 18037 | 34 Chua是『蔡』的福建发音。文章里也有说到Hokkien(『福建』)。
【在 m****s 的大作中提到】
: Chua 越南人把
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 35 interests might change, evolve, disappear...... without discipline, one
would never last long in whatever he/she pursues. it is the core value of
life.
【在 b*****8 的大作中提到】
: disagree about 毅力, life should be interesting driven otherwise it is
: miserable.
|
a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 36 I believe they are different. Discipline is to protect one's interest. Your
interest might not fit into someone's discipline.
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: interests might change, evolve, disappear...... without discipline, one
: would never last long in whatever he/she pursues. it is the core value of
: life.
|
p***y
发帖数: 18037 | |
C*******d
发帖数: 15836 | 38 Sometimes you have to give up because some goals are simply impossible,
stupid, and/or wrong.
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: never give up, easy said than done. one must first be a disciplined person
: to have the 毅力 to last through
|
C*******d
发帖数: 15836 | 39 Sorry for her daughters. |
t***e
发帖数: 2138 | 40 非常误导。
以我自己为例，并结合周围朋友们的实例，中国家庭对孩子要求严格是真的，但绝不会
骂自己的孩子“垃圾”“蠢”…这不是文化问题，是教养问题。什么样的垃圾父母会这
样骂自己的孩子？实在很难设想作者是耶鲁的教授。从小缺少家教。还把屎盆子扣到全
体中国人身上。
莫名其妙的又被代表了。郁闷。 |
|
|
w*****e
发帖数: 721 | 41
Of course he (amy chua's father) would call her daughter "garbage" WHEN her
daughter (amy chua) DISRESPECT her MOTHER.
I can easily imagine the fight between Amy and her parents.
Amy probably said her mother is worthless, don't speak English well, or
stupid..
What would you do if you are the father ?
【在 t***e 的大作中提到】
: 非常误导。
: 以我自己为例，并结合周围朋友们的实例，中国家庭对孩子要求严格是真的，但绝不会
: 骂自己的孩子“垃圾”“蠢”…这不是文化问题，是教养问题。什么样的垃圾父母会这
: 样骂自己的孩子？实在很难设想作者是耶鲁的教授。从小缺少家教。还把屎盆子扣到全
: 体中国人身上。
: 莫名其妙的又被代表了。郁闷。
|
c*******r
发帖数: 527 | 42 I always think that my sister is a over-achiever and tough mother. Compared
with her, my sister is an angel. Feel sorry for her kids though. |
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 43
你说教有瘾?
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: interests might change, evolve, disappear...... without discipline, one
: would never last long in whatever he/she pursues. it is the core value of
: life.
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 44 你才发现？
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: 你说教有瘾?
|
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 45
what would make you stop?
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 你才发现？
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 46 处女座的基因决定的
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: what would make you stop?
|
d*******n
发帖数: 4913 | 47
没事 说
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 处女座的基因决定的
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 48 让我喝点水
【在 d*******n 的大作中提到】
:
: 没事 说
|
d*******n
发帖数: 4913 | 49
好的 喝肥肥
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 让我喝点水
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 50 前段时间大雪，费城还是宾州哪个市的球赛就取消了。市长大怒说，这点雪算什么，城
市就不要运作了吗？要知道假如中国人碰到这种雪，不但球赛照踢，球迷们来到路上还
能把微积分题目做几遍。我们怎么和人家竞争？
结果扫雪车们群情激愤，一晚上就把球场扫干净了，唯独市长看球的位置故意积着雪。 |
|
|
j******3
发帖数: 18319 | 51 听说周三大雪？
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 前段时间大雪，费城还是宾州哪个市的球赛就取消了。市长大怒说，这点雪算什么，城
: 市就不要运作了吗？要知道假如中国人碰到这种雪，不但球赛照踢，球迷们来到路上还
: 能把微积分题目做几遍。我们怎么和人家竞争？
: 结果扫雪车们群情激愤，一晚上就把球场扫干净了，唯独市长看球的位置故意积着雪。
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V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 52 毛毛雪
【在 j******3 的大作中提到】
: 听说周三大雪？
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d*j
发帖数: 13780 | 53 不是说 6--12 inch
上次的多达？
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 毛毛雪
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V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 54 上次的都快到我膝盖了
【在 d*j 的大作中提到】
: 不是说 6--12 inch
: 上次的多达？
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t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 55
真的汉子赤膊玩雪
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 前段时间大雪，费城还是宾州哪个市的球赛就取消了。市长大怒说，这点雪算什么，城
: 市就不要运作了吗？要知道假如中国人碰到这种雪，不但球赛照踢，球迷们来到路上还
: 能把微积分题目做几遍。我们怎么和人家竞争？
: 结果扫雪车们群情激愤，一晚上就把球场扫干净了，唯独市长看球的位置故意积着雪。
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d*j
发帖数: 13780 | 56 嗯， 差不多
看来确实是小雪
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 上次的都快到我膝盖了
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V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 57 真的汉子不会把真的汉子挂在嘴上
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
:
: 真的汉子赤膊玩雪
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t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 58
对我没影响
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 真的汉子不会把真的汉子挂在嘴上
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t******t
发帖数: 40 | 59 在公司就看过这个文章，我们组还讨论了，结论就是这个人不正常。中国人很诡异。我
也附和。谢谢我爸妈，没push我。不过我也不会啥乐器。唉。 |
z******1
发帖数: 109 | |
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d***s
发帖数: 7683 | 61 这文章只举出了一例严家教出高徒的例子. 最后到底有多高现在还不敢说.
可是西方社会用跟她相反的家教方式培养出的高徒成千上万. |
s*********r
发帖数: 3934 | 62
这个跟共党国家搞体育一样
【在 d***s 的大作中提到】
: 这文章只举出了一例严家教出高徒的例子. 最后到底有多高现在还不敢说.
: 可是西方社会用跟她相反的家教方式培养出的高徒成千上万.
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m*****5
发帖数: 23482 | 63 这文章越读越觉得反讽
以前这种屎盆子都是扣到米犹老妈身上的，现在轮到华人来扛了？ |
r*******t
发帖数: 8550 | 64 受“出人头地”毒害的crazy mom
,
【在 p***y 的大作中提到】
: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
: Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music
: practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?
: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142405274870411150457605971
: By AMY CHUA
: Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at their home in New Haven,
: Conn.
: A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically
: successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math
: whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether
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m*****5
发帖数: 23482 | 65
老移民的脑子还停留在她父母的那个见识上，现在连国内父母都不这么狠了
【在 r*******t 的大作中提到】
: 受“出人头地”毒害的crazy mom
:
: ,
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t***e
发帖数: 2138 | 66 严格没有问题。骂孩子“垃圾”等很错误。家长言传身教很重要，不尊重孩子的人格，
孩子将来也不会尊重父母和别人。
应该设立好的学习计划，然后态度和善的严格执行。
playday和体育活动非常重要，是培养孩子的社交能力和健康的身体。中国讲究德智体
全面发展。可见作者根本没有领悟到中国教育的精神。 |
d***s
发帖数: 7683 | 67 你儿子已经输在了外貌上, 千万不能让他再输在人格上. 教育方式还要三思.
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: I'm completely with her, can not agree more
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d*********k
发帖数: 8 | 68 某些国女/国男老爱谈精英,主流,这本身就是没自信的表现.能让自己HAPPY,你就是精英
,就是主流,这点本事都没有,要别人的框框来定义自己的生活,你在哪里都是LOSER... |
d*********k
发帖数: 8 | 69 某些国女/国男老爱谈精英,主流,这本身就是没自信的表现.能让自己HAPPY,你就是精英
,就是主流,这点本事都没有,要别人的框框来定义自己的生活,你在哪里都是LOSER... |
a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 70 作者根本没有在中国生活过。一位只有中国人外表的地道美国人，俗称香蕉，外黄里白
。她的“东方”的教育方法只是在家里由她父母“传授”下来的，她就用这来代表大部
分中国乃之东方教育方法。是美国人一贯狂妄自大的性格。
弹琴好就成功，那马戏团里的被训练过的猴子，大笨象会蹦，会跳，会表演，还会听指
挥，不是更加成功？还有，马戏团里的人不爱他们的猴子和大笨象？
【在 t***e 的大作中提到】
: 严格没有问题。骂孩子“垃圾”等很错误。家长言传身教很重要，不尊重孩子的人格，
: 孩子将来也不会尊重父母和别人。
: 应该设立好的学习计划，然后态度和善的严格执行。
: playday和体育活动非常重要，是培养孩子的社交能力和健康的身体。中国讲究德智体
: 全面发展。可见作者根本没有领悟到中国教育的精神。
|
|
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V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 71 你已经输在没有儿子上了, 都是空谈.
【在 d***s 的大作中提到】
: 你儿子已经输在了外貌上, 千万不能让他再输在人格上. 教育方式还要三思.
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l*****z
发帖数: 13617 | 72 真逗！
不过，孩子真是天使，为什么不能让他们的童年更快乐一点？虽然我不否认学更多的东
西有益，但是我觉得心的快乐+乐观开朗的性格+自己的兴趣更重要。。。
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 前段时间大雪，费城还是宾州哪个市的球赛就取消了。市长大怒说，这点雪算什么，城
: 市就不要运作了吗？要知道假如中国人碰到这种雪，不但球赛照踢，球迷们来到路上还
: 能把微积分题目做几遍。我们怎么和人家竞争？
: 结果扫雪车们群情激愤，一晚上就把球场扫干净了，唯独市长看球的位置故意积着雪。
|
d******i
发帖数: 1064 | |
L***6
发帖数: 8307 | 74 这种教育方式的好处，就是可以避免很多小孩儿去学坏，去吸毒去堕胎，但这种教育的
坏处是会误伤到很多有天赋有上进心的小孩儿，使得他们很平庸很缺乏创造性和想法。
西方就是差的就让你更差，让你彻底堕落，好的让你宽松的成长，所以有很多牛人，和
很多堕落的人。中国小孩儿都是很相似，缺乏差异性，都很平庸，喜欢找份工作领工资
，老老实实给老板打工一辈子，自己没有想法和创造力。所以巨烂的人亚裔里很难有，
巨牛的人也很难找到。而且这种教育对女孩儿可能更适合，因为女孩儿本来年轻的时候
就对自己脸蛋和身材比较在意，再宽松也不会做出什么大事，应该去管脚。男孩儿的话
就要具体看人。 |
d*****j
发帖数: 1192 | 75 Why didn't Ms Chua marry a superior Chinese man educated by a superior
Chinese mother? |
D******r
发帖数: 5237 | |
t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | 77
是的
【在 D******r 的大作中提到】
: 别当真啦，都是为了卖她的书吸引眼球用的。
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V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 78 我今天下载了她的新书，还没开始看。据说她爸爸是伯克莱德高望重的教授，提起大名
无人不知无人不晓。我觉得一个成功的父亲教出的两个藤校教授的女儿，教出的两个卡
内基演奏的女儿的人写的书，还是值得看的。
心的快乐和乐观的性格是很重要，这和有纪律有自制力不冲突的
【在 l*****z 的大作中提到】
: 真逗！
: 不过，孩子真是天使，为什么不能让他们的童年更快乐一点？虽然我不否认学更多的东
: 西有益，但是我觉得心的快乐+乐观开朗的性格+自己的兴趣更重要。。。
|
d*j
发帖数: 13780 | 79 你用膝盖想一想， 有可能吗？
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 我今天下载了她的新书，还没开始看。据说她爸爸是伯克莱德高望重的教授，提起大名
: 无人不知无人不晓。我觉得一个成功的父亲教出的两个藤校教授的女儿，教出的两个卡
: 内基演奏的女儿的人写的书，还是值得看的。
: 心的快乐和乐观的性格是很重要，这和有纪律有自制力不冲突的
|
L******k
发帖数: 33825 | 80 与其这样 有时间的话 还不如去上一些教育课~
我们教授就说 家长都应该来上一些教育课！ 哈哈
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 我今天下载了她的新书，还没开始看。据说她爸爸是伯克莱德高望重的教授，提起大名
: 无人不知无人不晓。我觉得一个成功的父亲教出的两个藤校教授的女儿，教出的两个卡
: 内基演奏的女儿的人写的书，还是值得看的。
: 心的快乐和乐观的性格是很重要，这和有纪律有自制力不冲突的
|
|
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V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 81 我用脚趾头想都是可能的。
快乐的人如果无组织无纪律没有自制力，就是自由散漫讨人嫌。
蒋家第四代回忆小时候，大人没上桌小孩子不能吃饭，吃饭时候不能讲话，没吃完不能
提前离开。这些在现在家长听来都快匪夷所思了吧。能不要追着祖宗屁股后面喂饭就谢
天谢地了。可是现在他们想起来，都非常感谢父母的严格教育和近乎严苛的礼节。
我觉得一个人如果没有纪律没有自制力，不论做什么都不会成功，永远像一片浮萍一样
漂流，讲的好听点跟着心情走跟着兴趣走，一个浪头打来就不定会沉没。现在的孩子不
是自由不够，快乐不够，而是够的过头了
【在 d*j 的大作中提到】
: 你用膝盖想一想， 有可能吗？
|
V*****8
发帖数: 33122 | 82 那我还要看看是谁教的
【在 L******k 的大作中提到】
: 与其这样 有时间的话 还不如去上一些教育课~
: 我们教授就说 家长都应该来上一些教育课！ 哈哈
|
L******k
发帖数: 33825 | 83 okay·~ 去看看吧！
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 那我还要看看是谁教的
|
g*******a
发帖数: 31586 | 84
是的 很有道理 我有小孩了 一定得管好 好的教育和品德很重要
【在 V*****8 的大作中提到】
: 我用脚趾头想都是可能的。
: 快乐的人如果无组织无纪律没有自制力，就是自由散漫讨人嫌。
: 蒋家第四代回忆小时候，大人没上桌小孩子不能吃饭，吃饭时候不能讲话，没吃完不能
: 提前离开。这些在现在家长听来都快匪夷所思了吧。能不要追着祖宗屁股后面喂饭就谢
: 天谢地了。可是现在他们想起来，都非常感谢父母的严格教育和近乎严苛的礼节。
: 我觉得一个人如果没有纪律没有自制力，不论做什么都不会成功，永远像一片浮萍一样
: 漂流，讲的好听点跟着心情走跟着兴趣走，一个浪头打来就不定会沉没。现在的孩子不
: 是自由不够，快乐不够，而是够的过头了
|
f****e
发帖数: 523 | 85 外F女就喜欢代表中国，把中国人描绘成一群不可理喻的怪物。
shameless!!! |
v******s
发帖数: 6949 | 86 嘿嘿，有点兴趣，但是怕吃苦的孩子可以推，12岁以下适用。
完全没兴趣的早点放弃发展别的爱好最好。我现在特后悔学了一堆抽象代数，神马用也
没有，还耽误了
大学毕业拿校长奖。
【在 l*****z 的大作中提到】
: 真逗！
: 不过，孩子真是天使，为什么不能让他们的童年更快乐一点？虽然我不否认学更多的东
: 西有益，但是我觉得心的快乐+乐观开朗的性格+自己的兴趣更重要。。。
|
