m*****5
发帖数: 23482 | | W*********n
发帖数: 45 | | a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 3 http://glo.msn.com/relationships/12-signs-youre-headed-for-divo
12 Signs You're Headed for Divorce
While healing an ailing relationship is usually what we all want, sometimes
it's wise to know when it's time to let go. Every marriage is different, but
here are 12 universal truths.
The Clock's Ticking
Time is a factor: "The clock starts ticking on the end of a marriage as soon
as one spouse puts the [couple's] problems out in the open," says Bryce
Kaye, Ph.D., author of The Marriage First Aid Kit. "The more time that
passes after that without any effort made, the lower the odds are that you'
ll stay together."
You've "Uncoupled"
Couples whose marriages are over, or nearly over, have usually uncoupled, or
disconnected from each other, says Elayne Savage Ph.D., author of Breathing
Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple. "If you're no longer spending any time
together - and if it feels like a relief not to be with each other - it's a
sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage."
Your Issues Go Unsolved
Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After, says that if one spouse
repeatedly brings up an issue, asks for help and makes it clear that the
marriage will not last unless they both commit to solving it, but the other
spouse refuses to go along, the marriage is in trouble.
One Spouse Won't Try
"One partner can't do all the trying on his or her own," says Bowman. "You
can't go anywhere like that." A good rule of thumb: If it's been a year with
no progress, it may be time to call it quits.
There's No Respect
One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is mutual respect,
says Savage. When that's gone - when one partner consistently feels
dismissed, rejected and condescended to you're in a bad place. "Marriages
that reach this place are toxic - you're no longer civil, and all discourse
is either attacking or defending."
You're Not a Team
In healthily humming-along marriages, both partners work as a team on
everything from parenting to supporting each other in career and personal
ambitions. "If you've both started moving in completely separate orbits, or
if you're not working together on day-to-day issues, it's a sign of serious
trouble," says Savage.
An Unfaithful Spouse is Pals with an Ex-lover
Infidelity is an enormous hurdle for a marriage to overcome, but just ending
the affair is not enough, says Kaye. For a marriage to fully get past one
spouse's adultery, the unfaithful half of the couple cannot maintain a "
friendship" with the former lover.
There's No Compromise
A major part of marriage involves trying to fulfill your partner's needs
while also making sure your own needs are met. It's a lifelong dance, a give
and take, and it requires constant communication. But if your partner
continually refuses to listen to what you need or refuses to share his own
needs, you're not in a good place, says Kaye.
One Spouse is a Serial Cheater
After the kind of affair a couple can recover from, "there are regrets,
apologies and a promise to put an end to it and seek counseling." Not so
with the serial cheater; that's a problem you can't fix, and likely spells
the end of your marriage.
The Cheater Blames the Other Spouse
"Some men - and stereotypically this is men - are just not cut out for
marriage; they are unable to remain monogamous, even if they seemed to have
wanted to get married," says Bowman. What's worse, they manage to put the
blame for their philandering on you, usually for being too jealous or
controlling.
You Disagree on Having Kids
"If someone's close to either side of the will-we-or-won't-we-hav e-children
fence, you can work through it. But if not, and having a child is a life
goal of yours, you may be looking at the end of your marriage," says Bowman.
You Don't Communicate
No problem in a marriage can be solved without open, honest communication.
If you've reached a point where all you ever talk about is mundane things,
like who needs to buy milk, you're in trouble, says Savage. "Lack of
personal, intimate exchange in a marriage is a very bad sign, especially if
you are talking to others." | k*****y
发帖数: 4550 | 4 应该给美国警察普及
清官难断家务事
和
夫妻打架床头闹床尾合
这些中国的古老谚语 | s****j
发帖数: 2542 | | m*****5
发帖数: 23482 | 6 都拿雷霆万钧的警察叔叔当和霭可亲的居委会大妈
怪不怪国内脑残宣传 | k*****y
发帖数: 4550 | 7 f1f2万里迢迢没法找爹妈兄弟公司领导闺蜜兄弟帮忙
只好寄希望于美国的警察来当调解 | m*****5
发帖数: 23482 | 8
警察叔叔会被伊烦死，然后直接就把她们唐僧了
【在 k*****y 的大作中提到】
: f1f2万里迢迢没法找爹妈兄弟公司领导闺蜜兄弟帮忙
: 只好寄希望于美国的警察来当调解
| k*****y
发帖数: 4550 | 9 我邻居上星期某半夜吵架，男的被女的关在门外
我真想替他们call警察叔叔
【在 m*****5 的大作中提到】
:
: 警察叔叔会被伊烦死，然后直接就把她们唐僧了
| t*******y
发帖数: 11968 | | | | k*****y
发帖数: 4550 | 11 那被打的女人们不继续维权，来买买提发帖做甚
【在 t*******y 的大作中提到】
: 打女人, 当然应该911
| Z*****l
发帖数: 14069 | 12 世界观问题。正常人们无法理解她们的思维。而且跟她们解释了很严重也没用。只有离
了省事。
要是真打了男人有错也罢了，吵嘴也去报就很无聊。更可怕的是自残栽赃的，没见过根本无法想象，她们的动机理由根本无法理性解释。
另外似乎这种女人的共性就是喜欢林黛玉，也许只是巧合。
【在 m*****5 的大作中提到】
: 到底是智商问题还是老刑的托
| m*****5
发帖数: 23482 | 13
兼喜欢张爱玲
【在 Z*****l 的大作中提到】
: 世界观问题。正常人们无法理解她们的思维。而且跟她们解释了很严重也没用。只有离
: 了省事。
: 要是真打了男人有错也罢了，吵嘴也去报就很无聊。更可怕的是自残栽赃的，没见过根本无法想象，她们的动机理由根本无法理性解释。
: 另外似乎这种女人的共性就是喜欢林黛玉，也许只是巧合。
| Z*****l
发帖数: 14069 | 14 嗯。
以前以为性格可以调教，吃鳖了，脱一层皮。后来就专找心智成熟，温柔大方，会待人
处事，烧饭做菜。
不过这个和别人说了也没用，都得自己经历。当然运气好的也不用折腾。
【在 m*****5 的大作中提到】
:
: 兼喜欢张爱玲
| m*****5
发帖数: 23482 | 15
性格基本是三岁看老，你苦口婆心教，只能改变一点做事情的习惯而已
【在 Z*****l 的大作中提到】
: 嗯。
: 以前以为性格可以调教，吃鳖了，脱一层皮。后来就专找心智成熟，温柔大方，会待人
: 处事，烧饭做菜。
: 不过这个和别人说了也没用，都得自己经历。当然运气好的也不用折腾。
| k*****y
发帖数: 4550 | 16 遗传＋家教
【在 m*****5 的大作中提到】
:
: 性格基本是三岁看老，你苦口婆心教，只能改变一点做事情的习惯而已
| Z*****l
发帖数: 14069 | 17 嗯，之前其他事情太顺利，所以不信邪不听老人言，结果一夜回到解放前。现在想起来
心有余悸。
【在 m*****5 的大作中提到】
:
: 性格基本是三岁看老，你苦口婆心教，只能改变一点做事情的习惯而已
| Z*****l
发帖数: 14069 | 18 There's No Respect
One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is mutual respect,
says Savage. When that's gone - when one partner consistently feels
dismissed, rejected and condescended to you're in a bad place. "Marriages
that reach this place are toxic - you're no longer civil, and all discourse
is either attacking or defending."
女方这一点出问题最多。很多女的就是开始不认识的时候盲目崇拜，你会个1+1=2她们
就狂舔，后来熟悉了又盲目歧视，事业稍不顺利就闭经。这样没法平等待人，关系无法
稳定。
【在 a*o 的大作中提到】
: http://glo.msn.com/relationships/12-signs-youre-headed-for-divo
: 12 Signs You're Headed for Divorce
: While healing an ailing relationship is usually what we all want, sometimes
: it's wise to know when it's time to let go. Every marriage is different, but
: here are 12 universal truths.
: The Clock's Ticking
: Time is a factor: "The clock starts ticking on the end of a marriage as soon
: as one spouse puts the [couple's] problems out in the open," says Bryce
: Kaye, Ph.D., author of The Marriage First Aid Kit. "The more time that
: passes after that without any effort made, the lower the odds are that you'
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