M****o
发帖数: 4860 | 1 Canadians: “Build a Damn Fence!”
From The Manitoba Herald , Canada ; “Reported” by Clive Runnels
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party, and the fact
Republicans won the Senate, are prompting an exodus among left-leaning
citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with
Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.
Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animalrights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at
night.
“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield
, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted, and
hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show
him my screenplay, eh?”
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they
wouldn’t give any milk.”
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them
across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves. “A
lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario
border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of
imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though.” When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border,
often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps
where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the
border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to
buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching half-a-dozen young
vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began
stopping buses and quizzing the supposed seniorcitizens about Perry Como and
Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can
’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very
suspicious about their age,” an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organicbroccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. “
I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can
’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many arthistory majors
does one country need?”
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to
President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter,
Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on
postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out,” he said. | M****o
发帖数: 4860 | 2 事实证明，马尼托巴先驱报不存在（至少不是因为1877年），也没有叫一个真正的记者
，“克莱夫Runnels，”这故事是四十岁，但除此之外，我认为这是值得传递同时在我
们等待皇帝奥巴马的移民法令的明天：
加拿大人：“建立一个该死的护栏！”
从马尼托巴报道，加拿大; “报告”由Clive Runnels
美国自由派越过边境潜入加拿大的洪水在过去一周已经愈演愈烈，引发了呼吁加强巡逻
，以阻止非法移民。茶党的最近的行动，而事实上共和党赢得参议院，正促使左倾公民
谁害怕他们会很快就被要求去打猎，祈祷，并同意与比尔·奥赖利和格伦·贝克之间的
外流。
加拿大边境的农民说，这不是经常看到几十个社会学教授，animalrights活动家和一神
论跨越各自领域的夜晚。
“我出去了一天，挤牛奶，并有一个好莱坞制片人蜷缩在谷仓里，”曼尼托巴省南部的
农夫红松涛，其种植面积接壤的北达科他说。制片人是冷的，累死了，饿了。他问我，
如果我能腾出拿铁咖啡和一些散养的鸡。当我说我没有任何，他离开之前，我甚至有机
会向他展示我的剧本，是吗？“
在努力制止非法居留的外国人，松涛竖起更高的围栏，但自由派缩放它们。然后，他安
装了扩音器响起林博在田野上。 “不是真正有效，”他说。 “自由派还是得到了通过
，而拉什惹恼了牛，以至于他们不会给任何牛奶。”
官员们尤其关注走私者谁满足靠近加拿大边境的自由主义者，他们打包成沃尔沃旅行车
，并越过边境，在那里他们只是留给自生自灭驱动它们。 “很多人都没有为我们坚固
的条件准备，”安大略省的边界巡警说。 “我找到了一个车皮没有一个单一的一瓶进
口的饮用水。他们确实有一个可爱的小纳帕谷赤霞珠，虽然。“当自由主义者被抓到，
他们发回越过边境，经常大声哀号，他们担心报复的保守派。传言已流传约正在计划建
设的再教育营地，自由派将被迫喝国产啤酒，观看NASCAR比赛。
最近几天，自由主义者纷纷转向过境的巧妙方法。有些人被伪装成老人走一趟公交车，
买便宜的加拿大处方药。追赶半年时间，十几个年轻的素食者粉状假发伪装后，加拿大
移民当局开始阻止公交车和了么约佩里科摩和罗斯玛丽·克鲁尼的应该seniorcitizens
证明他们还活着，在上世纪50年代。 “如果他们不能识别的劳伦斯·卫尔克展示了手
风琴演奏家，我们变得非常怀疑他们的年龄，”一位官员说。
加拿大公民抱怨说，非法移民正在创建organicbroccoli不足，是租用所有的迈克尔·
摩尔电影。 “我真的觉得对不起美国的自由派，但加拿大经济就不能支持他们，”渥
太华居民说。 “有多少arthistory专业不一个国家需要什么？”
为了努力缓解美国和加拿大之间的紧张关系，副总统拜登会见了加拿大驻华大使，并承
诺政府将采取措施安抚自由派。一位接近奥巴马总统说，“我们将有一些保罗·麦卡特
尼和彼得，保罗和玛丽音乐会。我们甚至可以放在邮票上的一些濒危物种。总统决心伸
出手来，“他说。
fact
at
【在 M****o 的大作中提到】
: Canadians: “Build a Damn Fence!”
: From The Manitoba Herald , Canada ; “Reported” by Clive Runnels
: The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
: intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
: the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party, and the fact
: Republicans won the Senate, are prompting an exodus among left-leaning
: citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with
: Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.
: Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
: professors, animalrights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at
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