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s******n
发帖数: 459 | 1 以下摘自最有品的笑话网站http://www.jumbojokes.com
The nurse became ill during surgery and vomited on the patient. She was
taken from the operating room and stitched up. Patient remained anesthetized
and dressed in his unawares.
According to patient, accident was caused because he was receiving
gratification of an oral manner from female driver of car.
Although diarrhea and vomiting may have been caused by improper medication,
hospital food cannot be ruled out.
Patient ran out of hospital naked with only a gown open in back on...Since
it is below freezing outside, we expect no problem in quickly finding
patient.
The sponge was not forgotten in the patient after surgery. The sponge
remained in the patient after surgery.
The patient wrote a very nice note thanking the nursing staff for helping
him achieve a normal orgasm.
He was admitted to ER complaining of acute constipation. Removed large
accidental cucumber from rectum, which relieved condition. He doesn't know
how cucumber got into rectum. Advised that it might be good idea to remove
all potentially dangerous fruit and vegetables from home environment.
This patient has been enemaed within an inch of her life!
She said her fiance Darryl would cover all her medical expenses. We called
the number she provided and got the local Pizza Hut. There was nobody there
named Darryl.
This woman is 91 years old, comatose and on life support. The family has
been calling me daily to see if there is any way we can bring her to
consciousness long enough for her to sign a will they've drawn up.
Patient was admitted with multiple painful contusions to the groin. Patient
said he was trying to teach himself tightrope walking.
Patient was admitted to ER with two gunshot wounds to the left leg. He does
not know how he got these wounds, but he thinks they probably came from
someone shooting at him with a gun. ER staff tentatively agreed with this
possibility, pending further investigation.
He pried the cork out of a wine bottle with his teeth and a pocket knife.
The cork lodged in his esophagus and the knife left several cuts on his lips
and nose. He has promised to buy a corkscrew as soon as he is released. His
wife asked us to tell him not to open beer bottles with his teeth anymore
either, as several teeth have been cracked and chipped.
The patient's family smelled of cheese, so I thought it best to have them
meet in the lobby.
and...
Mrs. G. in 3F received Mrs. P. in 3C's Tetracycline, while Mr. K. got Mr. O.
's physical therapy. This went on for ten weeks before anybody noticed. 4A
is stark raving mad and should be in a mental hospital. Dr. L. hasn't set
foot in this nursing home in over a year, yet I see his signature on all
kinds of new charts and meds. Our paychecks are always late. Mrs. J. [the
head administrator] hides in her office all day and won't talk to the staff
or take phone calls. The janitorial staff is drunk all the time and the
place is filthy and constantly smells like a sewer. Most of the nurses can't
speak or understand simple English. The son of one of our residents
threatened to beat me with a golf club. You have consistently ignored my
memos on these subjects and not returned my phone calls. Before I end up
like 4A, I'm quitting. Consider this my letter of resignation. |
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