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发帖数: 19471 | 1 The 27 Rules of Conquering the Gym By JASON GAY
1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. I
f a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be
a bar.
2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to
quarterback the New York Jets into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 p
ounds is hard.
3. Develop a gym routine. Try to go at least three times a week. Do a mix of
strength training and cardiovascular conditioning. After the third week, st
op carrying around that satchel of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.
4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading "The Ne
w Yorker" and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.
5. Bring your iPod. Don't borrow the disgusting gym headphones, or use the s
ad plastic radio attachment on the treadmill, which always sounds like it's
playing Kenny Loggins from a sewer.
6. Don't fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds
in 48 hours is food poisoning.
7. Yes, every gym has an overenthusiastic spinning instructor who hasn't bou
ght a record since "Walking on Sunshine."
8. There's also the Strange Guy Who is Always at the Gym. Just when you thin
k he isn't here today...there he is, lurking by the barbells.
9. "Great job!" is trainer-speak for "It's not polite for me to laugh at you
."
10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.
11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after
using them, and the worst people in the universe.
12. Nope, that's not a "recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate.
" That's a chocolate bar.
13. Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to de
ath, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer
.
14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is a
lso Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs-but that's super tough!
15. If you're motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider
a "wooden coat rack." It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact s
ame thing.
16. There's the yoga instructor everyone loves, and the yoga instructor ever
yone hates. Memorize who they are.
17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you're either in a really cool
gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.
18. Be cautious about any class with the words "sunrise," "hell," or "Moby."
19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it's hard. If you're relaxed an
d enjoying yourself, you're at brunch.
20. If you need to bring your children, just let them loose in the silent me
ditation class. Nobody minds, and kids love candles.
21. Don't buy $150 sneakers, $100 yoga pants, and $4 water. Muscle shirts ar
e for people with muscles, and rhythm guitarists.
22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches an
d fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you're basically paying for
a boutique hotel with B.O.
23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.
24. If you're at the point where you've bought biking shoes for the spinning
class, you may as well go ahead and buy an actual bike. It's way more fun a
nd it doesn't make you listen to C+C Music Factory.
25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.
26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show u
p committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatp
ants and watch a lot of bad TV.
27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.
Where's my infomercial and best seller? | a*******2
发帖数: 2857 | | d******8
发帖数: 3017 | 3 去gym lose pounds 从来就是个joke, #6 makes sense...
gym 一直是个social place. | a*******2
发帖数: 2857 | 4 也是看帅哥美女的好地方。。。。
【在 d******8 的大作中提到】
: 去gym lose pounds 从来就是个joke, #6 makes sense...
: gym 一直是个social place.
| S********t
发帖数: 18987 | | d******8
发帖数: 3017 | 6 同学，要去bar, beach 去看
【在 a*******2 的大作中提到】
: 也是看帅哥美女的好地方。。。。
| a*******2
发帖数: 2857 | 7 bar里看不清，而且好多都酒鬼。。。。。
beach嘛，原形毕露的地方， 就更不用说了。。。。。
【在 d******8 的大作中提到】
: 同学，要去bar, beach 去看
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