c*****x
发帖数: 1342 | 1 The Key to Same-Sex Marriage's Fast Acceptance: The Courage to Come Out
看到这篇文章觉得说的非常好 感同身受 不过我也很理解选择不出柜 需要型婚的同学
。毕竟每个人都有选择自己生活方式的权利
The passage of the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996 was intended in part "to
express moral disapproval of homosexuality." Less than two decades later,
multiple states have blessed same-sex marriage.
What explains the rapid change?
John Roberts raised that question Wednesday at the Supreme Court. "I suppose
the sea change has a lot to do with the political force and effectiveness
of people representing, supporting your side of the case," he told a lawyer
who wanted DOMA struck down. "You don't doubt that the lobby supporting the
enactment of same sex-marriage laws in different States is politically
powerful, do you? .... Political figures are falling over themselves to
endorse your side of the case .... I'm just trying to see where that comes
from, if not from the political effectiveness of groups on your side."
I can think of a source that may be far more significant.
Yes, political activism by groups favoring same-sex marriage has been
important. So have essays by people like Andrew Sullivan, who helped to
pioneer the intellectual arguments for same-sex marriage. What I suspect,
however, is that the most important factor of all has been the decision by
countless gays and lesbians to come out of the closet and be open about
their identities.
"A poll by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, released
last week and conducted in mid-March, found that 14 percent of Americans say
they have changed their minds about same-sex marriage. Roughly a third of
them told pollsters it was because they know someone -- a friend or family
member or other acquaintance -- who is gay," the Los Angeles Times reports.
And the reason that so many young people grow up supporting gay marriage,
compared to their cohort a generation ago, is partly that their coming of
age has been spent conceiving of gays and lesbians as real people whom they
know, not abstract others who are easily stigmatized and demonized by virtue
of being made into untested caricatures.
Having even one gay friend or co-worker is enough for many straight people
to unconsciously conclude that the mainstream descriptions of homosexuality
from just a generation ago are absurd.
As Neil Steinberg put it, "All that coming out of the closet worked."
He adds some tragic context: the role the AIDS epidemic played in forcing
gay people out of the closet. "The old bargain -- stay silent and we won't
hurt you, maybe -- was now a fatal compromise. Silence = Death," he wrote. "
So gay people became more visible. Families that didn't know they had gay
members discovered -- not typically to their delight -- they did. Businesses
found they had gay employees .... Coming out was never easy -- it's not
easy now, as growing acceptance is one thing, facing your own dad something
very different. It takes courage. And most gay men and lesbians no doubt
think of coming out in private terms. But they should also realize that it
had enormous political implications, which pollsters like Pew are now seeing
."
Exposure to gays doesn't change the minds of sincere traditionalists whose
opposition to gay marriage is rooted in a notion of marriage as a
sacramental, procreative institution, rather than one grounded in love. But
as public opinion on divorce law and prevailing attitudes about straight
marriage attest, that is a tiny group of people -- not nearly enough to
constitute a majority that can block gay marriage. That requires the
addition of the "yuck, gays" vote, which is rapidly shrinking. It turns out
that once Americans get to know gay people they find they rather like them. |
e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 2 是啊，等每个人发现自己都有那么几个gay的亲戚好友，就不会太害怕了 |
m***n
发帖数: 1721 | 3 分人啊，有人会逼自己小孩去看“病”治“病”，有父子关系恶化破裂的，有自杀然后
儿子自杀的。对父母出柜还是要风险评估一下。
对朋友当然应该多出柜，现在大多数人真的不care，真看不惯的大不了不往来了，反正
我没遇到过。工作场合我还没出柜过，同事们客户们很八卦不想被当作话题。 |
m******1
发帖数: 19713 | 4 美国人根本不CARE你是什么性取向，我对同事都出柜了，人家连眼皮都不眨一下。
当然，你要是华人开的那种小公司，同事和客户都是华人，那CULTURE是完全不一样的。
【在 m***n 的大作中提到】
: 分人啊，有人会逼自己小孩去看“病”治“病”，有父子关系恶化破裂的，有自杀然后
: 儿子自杀的。对父母出柜还是要风险评估一下。
: 对朋友当然应该多出柜，现在大多数人真的不care，真看不惯的大不了不往来了，反正
: 我没遇到过。工作场合我还没出柜过，同事们客户们很八卦不想被当作话题。
|
S****S
发帖数: 237 | 5 也要看是什么样的工作环境，美国人里面nosy的也不少啊。
的。
【在 m******1 的大作中提到】
: 美国人根本不CARE你是什么性取向，我对同事都出柜了，人家连眼皮都不眨一下。
: 当然，你要是华人开的那种小公司，同事和客户都是华人，那CULTURE是完全不一样的。
|
m***n
发帖数: 1721 | 6 目前为止我觉得学校是最gay friendly的地方。据我所知从政和当兵还是很被歧视的，
只是不当面说，背后八卦真不少。
【在 S****S 的大作中提到】
: 也要看是什么样的工作环境，美国人里面nosy的也不少啊。
:
: 的。
|
S****S
发帖数: 237 | 7 嗯，我现在都后悔没有在读博的时候出柜，现在上班了就更加畏手畏脚了。可能只有等
到结婚了去通知HR改status，坐等传言散步，然后实现“主动的被动出柜”？呵呵。
【在 m***n 的大作中提到】
: 目前为止我觉得学校是最gay friendly的地方。据我所知从政和当兵还是很被歧视的，
: 只是不当面说，背后八卦真不少。
|
m******1
发帖数: 19713 | 8 关键是看在哪个州，加州的老美真不至于8挂别人性取向的事，因为太多啦。加州的老
美8挂别人的性取向，只能让别人嘲笑他们土老冒。在加州的公司里出柜，真算不上个
事儿。保守的州就大不一样了。
【在 S****S 的大作中提到】
: 也要看是什么样的工作环境，美国人里面nosy的也不少啊。
:
: 的。
|
m******1
发帖数: 19713 | 9 我在公司里，和同事聊天的时候一提到“my partner”，同事马上就会用she而不是he
。第一次我还特傻地问人家“你咋知道是she？”我同事说：“这是加州啊！你说
partner那就是默认指的同性。” 就这么简单，因为这是加州！:) |
C*F
发帖数: 91 | 10 i know people who introduce their hetero-sex spouse as "partner", guess they
are being gay-friendly.
but "partner" sounds like a business, not a relationship. |
|
|
m******1
发帖数: 19713 | 11 主要是看context吧，一般聊天说到partner，默认就是life partner。
不过，partner这个叫法确实不受欢迎，所以要争取结婚权啊。。不知道那些已婚的拉
拉们提到LD的时候怎么说？说my wife？哈哈~~ |
e***h
发帖数: 2791 | 12 挖哈哈，我现在都是完全没Context说我Gf，跟第一次见面的老外说，人家不但眼皮没
抬，还很高兴把same love，我之前发的那说Gay Music veideo给我看。
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb - 中文网站浏览器
【在 m******1 的大作中提到】
: 主要是看context吧，一般聊天说到partner，默认就是life partner。
: 不过，partner这个叫法确实不受欢迎，所以要争取结婚权啊。。不知道那些已婚的拉
: 拉们提到LD的时候怎么说？说my wife？哈哈~~
|
e***h
发帖数: 2791 | 13 觉的你自己很坦然出轨了先，人家反而不会有理由去说什么留言。
很多时候是自己Not feel comfortable。自己的问题。我是这样过来的，发现最简单办
法就是直接说我Gf怎么样了。不够确实看什么公司了。总体来说老外容易多了。
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb - 中文网站浏览器
【在 S****S 的大作中提到】
: 嗯，我现在都后悔没有在读博的时候出柜，现在上班了就更加畏手畏脚了。可能只有等
: 到结婚了去通知HR改status，坐等传言散步，然后实现“主动的被动出柜”？呵呵。
|
m******1
发帖数: 19713 | 14 同意，自己如果觉得comfortable了，出柜就是水到渠成的事，否则，不要硬出，让自
己不开心。
不过，很多老美直女也经常把好朋友叫girlfriend。说partner的指向性则更明确一些。
我就想知道，这个版上已婚的拉拉们说不说my wife?
【在 e***h 的大作中提到】
: 觉的你自己很坦然出轨了先，人家反而不会有理由去说什么留言。
: 很多时候是自己Not feel comfortable。自己的问题。我是这样过来的，发现最简单办
: 法就是直接说我Gf怎么样了。不够确实看什么公司了。总体来说老外容易多了。
:
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb - 中文网站浏览器
|
L******k
发帖数: 33825 | 15 很多直人对同性婚姻的观点的改变是因为他们知道起码一个亲人，朋友，同事，老师同
学是同性恋！
需要更多的同志们从柜子中走出来，向其他人展示LGBT社区的正面形象和正面信息！ |
