g********d
发帖数: 4174 | 1 I have been ordained as a minister in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) for
35 years. About 12 years ago, I experienced an awakening -- I realized that
the confusing feelings I had had all my adult life came from being bisexual.
Through the process of coming out as bi to myself, my loved ones -- husband
, teenage sons, brothers, father -- and friends and colleagues in the church
, a number of questions have risen to the surface as those most frequently
asked.
I thought it would be helpful to others to share those questions and my
answers here.
1. Aren't you really a lesbian who can't admit it?
The world I was born into had only one option for me: being straight. Even
though my uncle from California visited every fall with his "friend," no one
in my family clued me into what was really going on. I finally figured it
out on my own by college. So now there were two possibilities in my world:
straight and gay.
After dating and marrying my husband, with the vow to grow together
faithfully in love, I would occasionally experience heightened feelings for
a woman. Confused, I began to ask myself whether I might be a lesbian. By
that time in my ministry and church life I knew a lot of lesbians and from
my conversations with them I found that I just did not feel that I was
exactly the way they were. Primarily, I loved my husband deeply and felt
that we were right together. I had no words to capture my experience. I
lived with confusion.
I would say it took about 10 years of the word "bisexual" being used in my
world before I had the momentous click of consciousness -- bisexual
described me. The confusion melted away.
I am not a lesbian. I am not a straight ally. I am a bisexual woman who has
always been capable of loving someone of either gender, but who joined in
love and continues to build a life with a wonderful, caring man.
2. How can you claim to be Christian who believes in the Bible when you live
a promiscuous lifestyle?
In April, my husband and I will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. We
have fulfilled our vow to grow together faithfully in love. We have raised
two wonderful sons who are now in their 20s and establishing themselves in
the world. We support one another in our professions. We have renovated our
house for our old age with ramps, large light switches and lever door
handles. We walk our dog together around the neighborhood every afternoon.
Honesty about being bisexual is one aspect of being fully faithful to my
husband and also to God. Both know me better than I know myself, really.
When I came home to my husband and told him, "I finally figured it out -- I'
m bisexual." He said, "That sounds about right as I know you." God knit me
together in my mother's womb. Both also know that I am faithful to the
covenants of love I am blessed to have with my husband and with Christ.
With gratitude to God for the years now written in the Book of Life, knowing
God helps us every day, my husband and I continue to keep our wedding vows
to one another.
3. How can your husband stand for your confession that you are bisexual?
It is really not my place to speak for my husband. I can say what he has
said to me. He has told me that he was touched by my realization and happy I
shared it with him. He said that, unlike straight women who commit to one
man out of all the possible men in the world, I have promised to love him
out of all possible people in the world, both men and women. In this sense
my coming out as bisexual made him feel extra special. My husband's
perspective was and is a blessing to me and tells you a little about why I
love him. He values my honesty and faithfulness and loves me for who I am.
4. If you're married to a man, why does talking about being bisexual matter?
Aren't you just seeking attention?
Being honest with yourself, your family and God matters. I lived through
years of confusion and it has been extremely healing for me to be honest
about who I am. All of us are challenged by the life-long task of
integrating our spirituality and our sexuality that leads to wholeness.
Fully understanding and claiming my being bisexual has contributed immensely
to that integration and has given me a sense of wholeness that feels like a
graced gift from God. With anyone of any importance to me, it simply feels
dishonest to pass as straight.
And I expect there are many in our world who are as confused about their
feelings as I was. "Bisexual" is still not a word that is very commonly
understood or accepted. If my honesty about being bi helps one person come
to greater self-understanding, then I will have fulfilled my desire to love
my neighbor as myself, as Jesus teaches us to do.
5. How can you, as a bisexual minister, be a teacher and model of morality,
especially sexual morality, to the young people in the church?
For me, as a Christian, the heart of all morality is love and compassion.
The essence of sexual morality is loving commitment. These are the values
that I work to pass on to my own children as a mother and to the young
people in the church as a pastor. I suppose you could say that my life's way
, which I have shared, has been a model of these teachings. I practice what
I preach.
Were a young person in my congregation to hear about my being bi and come to
me to ask about sexual morality and being bisexual, I expect I would say
this:
God says to us, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." (Jeremiah 1:5)
. God knew me and loved me before I was even formed. God chose to make me
bisexual. And God wants me to live a life in harmony with the laws Jesus
gave to us. We are to love God and love our neighbor.
God's loving covenant with us is the model for the covenant of love we
eventually may make with another in this life. The blessing that comes from
meeting that life challenge -- to grow in love with another -- is available
to us all, including to me as a bisexual.
I pray that would be helpful. | g********d
发帖数: 4174 | | a*****d
发帖数: 4029 | 3 Bi NOW,GAY LATER?
that
bisexual.
husband
church
【在 g********d 的大作中提到】
: I have been ordained as a minister in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) for
: 35 years. About 12 years ago, I experienced an awakening -- I realized that
: the confusing feelings I had had all my adult life came from being bisexual.
: Through the process of coming out as bi to myself, my loved ones -- husband
: , teenage sons, brothers, father -- and friends and colleagues in the church
: , a number of questions have risen to the surface as those most frequently
: asked.
: I thought it would be helpful to others to share those questions and my
: answers here.
: 1. Aren't you really a lesbian who can't admit it?
| g********d
发帖数: 4174 | 4 NO. See the answer to question #1.
【在 a*****d 的大作中提到】
: Bi NOW,GAY LATER?
:
: that
: bisexual.
: husband
: church
| e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 5 非常喜欢她的回答。She is honest, faithful to herself. It doesn't matter she
is gay or straight or bi. 摘录几句：
-----------------------------------------
"I am a bisexual woman who has always been capable of loving someone of
either gender, but who joined in love and continues to build a life with a
wonderful, caring man."
-----------------------------------------
"Honesty about being bisexual is one aspect of being fully faithful to my
husband and also to God. "
-----------------------------------------
"He said that, unlike straight women who commit to one man out of all the
possible men in the world, I have promised to love him
out of all possible people in the world, both men and women.“ | l**h
发帖数: 8270 | 6 我总感觉BI的形象被很多人曲解了。同性伴侣里，如果另一半是BI，这一方总是会担心
对方和异性跑掉。但是异性伴侣里，我感觉这种担心会少一点。只是个人感觉而已，并
没有什么科学依据。
she
【在 e*******e 的大作中提到】
: 非常喜欢她的回答。She is honest, faithful to herself. It doesn't matter she
: is gay or straight or bi. 摘录几句：
: -----------------------------------------
: "I am a bisexual woman who has always been capable of loving someone of
: either gender, but who joined in love and continues to build a life with a
: wonderful, caring man."
: -----------------------------------------
: "Honesty about being bisexual is one aspect of being fully faithful to my
: husband and also to God. "
: -----------------------------------------
| e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 7 不要用自身有限的认知，去随意judge其他人的行为。 | g********d
发帖数: 4174 | 8 说的极是。
【在 e*******e 的大作中提到】
: 不要用自身有限的认知，去随意judge其他人的行为。
| e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 9 人活在各种各样的恐惧中，无可厚非。
可是把自己的不安全感，变成对方莫须有的罪名，这是一种什么样的狭隘和自私呢？
【在 l**h 的大作中提到】
: 我总感觉BI的形象被很多人曲解了。同性伴侣里，如果另一半是BI，这一方总是会担心
: 对方和异性跑掉。但是异性伴侣里，我感觉这种担心会少一点。只是个人感觉而已，并
: 没有什么科学依据。
:
: she
| l**h
发帖数: 8270 | 10 我们也控制不了别人的思想呢，有些人就是不喜欢BI，我们也没办法啊。我只能代表自
己说，我很友BI。
【在 e*******e 的大作中提到】
: 人活在各种各样的恐惧中，无可厚非。
: 可是把自己的不安全感，变成对方莫须有的罪名，这是一种什么样的狭隘和自私呢？
| | | e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 11 就好象wsn担心自己老婆既喜欢黄钟人，又喜欢白种人一样
那些对所谓外F的侮辱攻击，不觉得可笑可悲可耻吗？
以劈腿为理由去judge Bi，我觉得性质是完全一样的。 | e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 12 哈哈哈， 大笑三声，
今天早上闹钟响了半个小时之后才起床呢。
你看，我连自己的想法都控制不了
但并不妨碍我对自己睡懒觉这种恶习的鄙视
【在 l**h 的大作中提到】
: 我们也控制不了别人的思想呢，有些人就是不喜欢BI，我们也没办法啊。我只能代表自
: 己说，我很友BI。
| l**h
发帖数: 8270 | 13 我特鄙视那些攻击外F的WSN。甚至他们能想到外F这个词，我都觉得很WS。
【在 e*******e 的大作中提到】
: 就好象wsn担心自己老婆既喜欢黄钟人，又喜欢白种人一样
: 那些对所谓外F的侮辱攻击，不觉得可笑可悲可耻吗？
: 以劈腿为理由去judge Bi，我觉得性质是完全一样的。
| K********n
发帖数: 263 | 14 哈哈，有意思
希望大家互爱
而没有任何担忧
that
bisexual.
husband
church
【在 g********d 的大作中提到】
: I have been ordained as a minister in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) for
: 35 years. About 12 years ago, I experienced an awakening -- I realized that
: the confusing feelings I had had all my adult life came from being bisexual.
: Through the process of coming out as bi to myself, my loved ones -- husband
: , teenage sons, brothers, father -- and friends and colleagues in the church
: , a number of questions have risen to the surface as those most frequently
: asked.
: I thought it would be helpful to others to share those questions and my
: answers here.
: 1. Aren't you really a lesbian who can't admit it?
| w*********e
发帖数: 29 | 15 说实话我不明白她到底要表达什么意思？就算知道自己的真是性取向，也还是应该坚持
选择圣经上的指示？还是什么呢？求解！ | e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 16 我的理解是，有可能喜欢什么样的人不重要。
重要的是，和喜欢的人在一起，忠诚的在爱中一起成长。
这人是十亿分之一，还是二十亿分之一，有什么大不了呢，选择了TA， TA就是你的唯
一。
不要为自己是什么样的人感到不好意思，上帝在创造每一个人的时候，早就知道你什么
样儿了。
Be true to yourself.
【在 w*********e 的大作中提到】
: 说实话我不明白她到底要表达什么意思？就算知道自己的真是性取向，也还是应该坚持
: 选择圣经上的指示？还是什么呢？求解！
| s********n
发帖数: 4346 | 17 I have a female friend who married a bi-sexual man. Their relationship has
been very stable. He is extremely honest about his sexual orientation to her
. He always say" If I didn't meet A, I would have married a man".
she
【在 e*******e 的大作中提到】
: 非常喜欢她的回答。She is honest, faithful to herself. It doesn't matter she
: is gay or straight or bi. 摘录几句：
: -----------------------------------------
: "I am a bisexual woman who has always been capable of loving someone of
: either gender, but who joined in love and continues to build a life with a
: wonderful, caring man."
: -----------------------------------------
: "Honesty about being bisexual is one aspect of being fully faithful to my
: husband and also to God. "
: -----------------------------------------
| w*********e
发帖数: 29 | 18 恩，最好是这样。不过圣经里面和信徒都不是这么理解的。所以我想即便这个minister
的意思如此，也不便明确指出。我感觉视频里面她说话总是欲言又止，有些东西就是不
能说出口。说来说去都是浮着的。
【在 e*******e 的大作中提到】
: 我的理解是，有可能喜欢什么样的人不重要。
: 重要的是，和喜欢的人在一起，忠诚的在爱中一起成长。
: 这人是十亿分之一，还是二十亿分之一，有什么大不了呢，选择了TA， TA就是你的唯
: 一。
: 不要为自己是什么样的人感到不好意思，上帝在创造每一个人的时候，早就知道你什么
: 样儿了。
: Be true to yourself.
|
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