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Joke版 - 受川普移民禁令迫害,一中国小留被递解出境
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相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: bao话题: tian话题: mei话题: xiang话题: said
进入Joke版参与讨论
1 (共1页)
w*****g
发帖数: 16352
1
#NotMyPresisent
#I Am a Panda Too
可怜还是这里出生的dreamer。
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
w*****g
发帖数: 16352
2
附送童话
Bye-bye, Bao Bao: Imagining the day one of our giant pandas leaves us
By John Kelly
October 23, 2016 at 6:46 PM
Mei Xiang and cub Bao Bao in April 2014. The giant panda offspring will head
to China next year. (Smithsonian National Zoo via Associated Press)
Giant panda Bao Bao will depart the Smithsonian’s National Zoo for China in
late winter, within the first few months of 2017.
— News release from the Smithsonian
“Mom, I don’t wanna go!”
Bao Bao stamped her foot petulantly, the very model of an irritated tween.
“Now, Bao Bao, we’ve talked about this,” her mother, Mei Xiang, said
patiently. “The clock has always been ticking. You shouldn’t be surprised.”
“Is it because I’m a foreigner?” Bao Bao said, angrily shredding a piece
of bamboo. “Am I being deported? Is this because of Donald Trump?”
Mei Xiang chuckled. “No. You’re as American as the bison or the prairie
dogs. You were born here, Bao Bao. You’re a citizen. But soon you will be
reaching sexual maturity and —” “Ugh, Mom! Gross!” Bao Bao raised a
black paw, the universal sign of “Enough.”
There was a grunt. Mother and daughter turned toward the mesh fence and saw
Tian Tian, Bao Bao’s father, on the other side.
“Zounds!” he said. “A party and I wasn’t invited?”
“Dad, you are so clueless!” Bao Bao said.
Mei Xiang ambled over and started to explain. “Tian Tian, your daughter is
going to China, as per the agreement. Soon, Bao Bao will be reaching sexual
maturity — ”
“Mother!”
“Soon she will be old enough to help our species and so she is leaving,
just like with Tai Shan.”
“Tai Shan,” Tian Tian said softly. “My son and heir. How noble in reason!
How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In
action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the
world, the paragon of animals! We shall not see his like again!”
“I heard he mostly just slept all day,” Bao Bao said.
Tian Tian grunted again. “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have
a thankless child,” he muttered before settling back on his haunches and
stroking his ample belly.
“Bao Bao, you’re going to be fine,” Mei Xiang said in a soothing voice.
“I’ve packed everything. Bamboo, apples, pears, cooked sweet potatoes. .
Also, some half-smokes, chicken wings and mumbo sauce.”
“Mom, I don’t even speak Chinese!” Bao Bao wailed.
“You’ll learn.”
“What if the other pandas don’t like me?”
“How could they not like you? You’re a great giant panda.”
“What if some of the other pandas bring up the contested Spratly Islands or
Philippine president Duterte’s pivot away from Washington and toward
Beijing?”
“Well, now you’re just being silly,” Mei Xiang said.
Bao Bao sighed. The truth was, she wasn’t cute anymore and she knew it.
Well, not as cute. She would always be cute — it came with the black-and-
white markings, the roly-poly demeanor — but she had reached that awkward
age. And there was a new panda in town. Everyone wanted to meet her little
brother, Bei Bei, the cute one.
She noticed with some irritation that he was nowhere to be seen just now.
It was true that giant pandas in the wild were solitary creatures, rarely
encountering one another.
But this wasn’t the wild. This was the National Zoo. All of the animals
here shared a bond. Like a troupe of actors in a long-running show, they
turned to one another for comfort.
As Tian Tian was fond of saying every morning when the first visitors were
arriving, pushing their strollers and hoisting their cameras: “All the
world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their
exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts.”
Bao Bao had always thought Tian Tian was talking about the humans, their
entrances and exits, but maybe he’d meant the animals, too.
It was time for her to take on a new role.
She knew it now. But did it have to be so hard?
“Mom,” Bao Bao said, trying not to cry. “I’ve never said it, but thank
you for being my mom. You were always there for me, but you let me figure
things out on my own. I hope someday to be half as good a mother as you.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Mei Xiang said, enfolding Bao Bao in a furry embrace.
As he watched from his side of the fence, Tian Tian raised a paw and bowed
slightly.
“Parting is such sweet sorrow,” he said quietly, wiping away a tear.

★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

【在 w*****g 的大作中提到】
: #NotMyPresisent
: #I Am a Panda Too
: 可怜还是这里出生的dreamer。
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

m***i
发帖数: 2013
3
持外交签证的悲剧啊
可以waiver吗?
m**********a
发帖数: 10817
4
人是citizen,好不

【在 w*****g 的大作中提到】
: #NotMyPresisent
: #I Am a Panda Too
: 可怜还是这里出生的dreamer。
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

m**********a
发帖数: 10817
5
18岁时可以再选一次`

【在 w*****g 的大作中提到】
: #NotMyPresisent
: #I Am a Panda Too
: 可怜还是这里出生的dreamer。
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

H********g
发帖数: 43926
6
似乎你楼上说得有道理 外交签证父母生的

【在 m**********a 的大作中提到】
: 人是citizen,好不
M****u
发帖数: 17708
7
这就是传说中的panda express?
n****4
发帖数: 12553
8
小留归来恨吃竹,洋妞顿做江南猪。故国话语从未识,风景依稀也不熟。

【在 w*****g 的大作中提到】
: #NotMyPresisent
: #I Am a Panda Too
: 可怜还是这里出生的dreamer。
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

H********g
发帖数: 43926
9
车子似乎做了两个耳朵

【在 M****u 的大作中提到】
: 这就是传说中的panda express?
w*****g
发帖数: 16352
10
这事真出过。话说某归国小留熊猫,回来时美方嘱付每天要加几个玉米面饼子,有营养
,给果老中饲养员做了,丫不吃。后来又问美方什么水份,面粉比例什么的,都对,但
就是不吃。后来实在不行,视频对笔记,米方代表问中方怎么做熟的,中方说"就是窝
窝头么,蒸熟就可以了。"米方说"不行啊,我们这厢都是烤熟的"。一烤,那货果然
就吃了。

★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

【在 n****4 的大作中提到】
: 小留归来恨吃竹,洋妞顿做江南猪。故国话语从未识,风景依稀也不熟。
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来美一万年马屁拍的好
进入Joke版参与讨论
n****4
发帖数: 12553
11
惯的,饿两顿就行。

【在 w*****g 的大作中提到】
: 这事真出过。话说某归国小留熊猫,回来时美方嘱付每天要加几个玉米面饼子,有营养
: ,给果老中饲养员做了,丫不吃。后来又问美方什么水份,面粉比例什么的,都对,但
: 就是不吃。后来实在不行,视频对笔记,米方代表问中方怎么做熟的,中方说"就是窝
: 窝头么,蒸熟就可以了。"米方说"不行啊,我们这厢都是烤熟的"。一烤,那货果然
: 就吃了。
:
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

H********g
发帖数: 43926
12
留美弄成留墨

【在 w*****g 的大作中提到】
: 这事真出过。话说某归国小留熊猫,回来时美方嘱付每天要加几个玉米面饼子,有营养
: ,给果老中饲养员做了,丫不吃。后来又问美方什么水份,面粉比例什么的,都对,但
: 就是不吃。后来实在不行,视频对笔记,米方代表问中方怎么做熟的,中方说"就是窝
: 窝头么,蒸熟就可以了。"米方说"不行啊,我们这厢都是烤熟的"。一烤,那货果然
: 就吃了。
:
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

p*****h
发帖数: 1369
13
想起老美的烤米蛋糕了,生米直接烤

【在 w*****g 的大作中提到】
: 这事真出过。话说某归国小留熊猫,回来时美方嘱付每天要加几个玉米面饼子,有营养
: ,给果老中饲养员做了,丫不吃。后来又问美方什么水份,面粉比例什么的,都对,但
: 就是不吃。后来实在不行,视频对笔记,米方代表问中方怎么做熟的,中方说"就是窝
: 窝头么,蒸熟就可以了。"米方说"不行啊,我们这厢都是烤熟的"。一烤,那货果然
: 就吃了。
:
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

w*****g
发帖数: 16352
14
Tacobell panda

★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 16

【在 H********g 的大作中提到】
: 留美弄成留墨
s*l
发帖数: 9421
15
哈哈。美梦方一日,中土已千年。

【在 M****u 的大作中提到】
: 这就是传说中的panda express?
s*l
发帖数: 9421
16
少小外飞老大回
竹色无改心颜衰
园友相见不相认
憨问姐从何处来

【在 n****4 的大作中提到】
: 小留归来恨吃竹,洋妞顿做江南猪。故国话语从未识,风景依稀也不熟。
1 (共1页)
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话题: bao话题: tian话题: mei话题: xiang话题: said