j****e
发帖数: 12067 | 1 【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
发信人: ShowMeMoney (ShowMeMoney), 信区: Military
标 题: 男女被配偶被抛弃的10大理由
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sat Jun 2 02:14:15 2012, 美东)
Top 10 Reasons Why We're Dumped
"I'm not ready for a relationship." If those six words have ever snapped
open your rib cage and scooped out your heart like a gut hook, then you
might be a woman.
It's the most popular excuse women hear when they're being dumped, according
to a survey released Tuesday.
The results are based on more than 500 male and female users of Wot Went
Wrong, a reverse dating site that allows exes to get and give answers about
unsuccessful relationships.
In a period of four months, 15 percent of female users got the "not ready"
response-- the kind of reason that makes you want to ask more questions. But
you might not want to dig too deep.
Break your unlucky dating patterns
Consider the second and third most popular reasons men dumped women on the
site:
#2 Low sex drive.
#3 Bad hygiene.
Is "I'm not ready" really just a nice way of saying "you have bad breath?"
Not necessarily, says psychologist and member of the male sex, Lee Shapiro,
PsyD. "They may be being honest about not being ready for the responsibility
of commitment."
Tracy McMillan agrees, sort of.
"I think they're telling the truth," says the author of the new book, Why
You're Not Married Yet, "but I would add to the end of that sentence 'with
you.' They're not ready for a relationship with you. It's a nice way of
saying this isn't the long-term situation I want, but that's not because you
're not good enough."
"It's a social grace," says McMillan.
To be fair, women have their own social graces, if you want to call them
that. According to the survey, the most popular excuse women gave when
dumping guys on the site was, "There's someone else."
It's not exactly gracious, especially if it's true. But it does get the
message across without putting a guy down.
"I would think the reason a woman would say that is to finalize the breakup,
" suggests McMillan. "It's a clear-cut way of making him stop the chase in a
somewhat diplomatic way."
What's less diplomatic: Too short (the #7 most popular reason women gave men
on the site).
Despite our tweaks of language, we're not so different. Both men and women
can be vapid and cruel when it comes to the opposite sex. And if we're
trying to be nice, we both exploit our gender stereotypes and blame "human
nature."
Video: Dating spreadsheets? The Daily Shot tells all
Guys' "not ready" excuse is propped on the assumption that "men can't commit
." Somehow, it's supposed to make the dumpee take it less personally.
Meanwhile, women's "someone else" line relies on the stereotype that women
crave relationships. If a guy used that line he'd be a cheat; if a woman
used "not ready" she'd seem like she were lying, even if she weren't.
Bottom line: there's no good way to reject someone. There are some really
bad ways, though, like "too hairy" and "lack of punctuality"--both popular
excuses used on the site.
"In the absence of some bigger connection, we come up with little reasons
not to like a person," explains McMillan, generously (seriously, we can be
jerks). "If it was the right person you wouldn't care how they ate or if
their fingernails are weird."
Incidentally, weird fingernails didn't rank on this survey. But someone's
probably heard that line before. | z***n
发帖数: 339 | 2 Too hairy让我遐想。。。莫非女的有络腮胡？ |
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