i****a
发帖数: 36252 | 1 At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr Welch himself):
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy
a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
“Car95″ or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on
five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.
12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old car.
13. You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine. | i****a
发帖数: 36252 | 2 Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore die in an airplane crash
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.
They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God
addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we
need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the
whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit
at my left."
God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think
people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one
should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in
feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my
right."
God then address Bill Gates. "Bill Gates, what do you believe?"
Bill Gates says, "I believe you're in my chair." | i****a
发帖数: 36252 | 3 Top 15 Surprises in Bill Gates' New Mansion
15 Sign over king-sized bed declares, "Use of the Words 'micro' and 'soft'
strictly prohibited while in bedroom."
14 No paintings, but live artists actually hanging on the wall.
13 Drawbridge is raised and lowered by hand.
12 Entire state of Rhode Island relocated to east wing.
11 Raises guinea pigs in his bedroom for extra cash.
10 No toilet paper, but handy stack of $100 bills.
9 Secret passage in library leads to Nerdcave where Bill keeps the
Nerdmobile.
8 Zima on tap.
7 Kato Kaelin sleeping in a corner of the trampoline room.
6 Tasteful and elegant 30,000 sq.ft. Hall of People Whose Businesses I Have
Personally and Single-Handedly Crushed.
5 Basement shrine to Kelly Bundy.
4 Hidden away in the attic: his beloved childhood calculator, Rosebud.
3 Everywhere you look -- Women!
2 With 27 bathrooms, there's never a need to ask, "Where do you want to go
today?"
and the Number 1 Surprise in Bill Gates's New Mansion...
1 Replica of the Eiffel Tower in the garden -- wait a minute... that's no
replica!! | k**********i
发帖数: 8706 | 4 请问笑点是在这里么？
【在 i****a 的大作中提到】
: Top 15 Surprises in Bill Gates' New Mansion
: 15 Sign over king-sized bed declares, "Use of the Words 'micro' and 'soft'
: strictly prohibited while in bedroom."
: 14 No paintings, but live artists actually hanging on the wall.
: 13 Drawbridge is raised and lowered by hand.
: 12 Entire state of Rhode Island relocated to east wing.
: 11 Raises guinea pigs in his bedroom for extra cash.
: 10 No toilet paper, but handy stack of $100 bills.
: 9 Secret passage in library leads to Nerdcave where Bill keeps the
: Nerdmobile.
| x*****g
发帖数: 3463 | 5 赞仔细
【在 k**********i 的大作中提到】
: 请问笑点是在这里么？
| f*****e
发帖数: 5177 | 6 这个笑话比火星还古老了吧
还是95/NT时代的呢
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
“Car95″ or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
【在 i****a 的大作中提到】
: At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
: computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up
: with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
: twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”
: In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
: stating (by Mr Welch himself):
: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
: cars with the following characteristics:
: 1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
: 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy
|
|
