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发帖数: 2283 | 1 http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i86280
Obama wins Nobel Prize in Physics
Written by Q. William Bacon
The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has awarded the 2010 Nobel Prize
in Physics to Barack Obama, current president of the United States.
Mr. Obama accepted the prize at the traditional royal ceremony in Oslo,
Norway. He addressed the distinguished gathering.
"Last year, you honored me with the Nobel Peace Prize, given in
anticipation of future actions I would take in ending military conflicts
around the globe. You also honored me with the Nobel Memorial Prize in
Economics for future actions in relieving the worst recession in seventy
years, the Nobel in Medicine/Physiology for future actions toward
universal health care in my nation, and the Nobel in Literature for the
future effects my best-selling books will have in inspiring a new
generation.
"This year, I receive the Nobel Prize in Physics with deep gratitude and
great humility. And yet I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the
considerable controversy that your generous decision has generated. In
part, this is because I am at the beginning, and not the end, of my
labors as a theoretical physicist. Furthermore, as the first sitting
president to receive the physics prize, I cannot promise that I will
start learning physics until 2016, or 2012 at the earliest.
"And yet the great challenge of modern physics is clear, and has been
for a generation: Our theory of the gravitational force does not, and
can not, fit with our quantum theory of the other three fundamental
forces. And there can be no progress in physics while the two academic
camps engage in turf battles and partisan bickering. What Dr. King said
on the eve of the bus boycotts in Montgomery rings true for sub-atomic
physics today: 'Unity is the great need of the hour.'
"Therefore, I will dedicate myself eventually to discovering a unified
theory, a theory that can truly be called 'grand'. I do this because a
house divided cannot stand. I do this to repay the faith you have shown
in me by giving me this award. I do this because, as the great physicist
Stephen Hawking has said, 'then we should know the mind of God'. I also
do this because physics is the foundation of all of chemistry, and
chemistry really fascinates me."
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