w*****g
发帖数: 16352 | 1 我作为国民政府代表, 也签了字. CNN刚刚报道.
http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/19/tech/mobile/apple-samsung-peace-t
Conciliatory Treaty
WHEREAS, the respective Parties, the Apple Fanboys (also known as "Apple
Fanbois," "Fanb0yz," "iPhoners" or simply "The Mac Faithful," among many
other names) and the Samsung Fanboys (also known as "Apple H4terz," "
Galaxians" or "Androiders") seek a lasting peace, both online and off, and...
WHEREAS, online forums, queues for new products and technology blogs have
become polluted with smack talk, useless feature comparisons and
Photoshopped ads meant to deride and belittle each other's device preference
, and...
WHEREAS both sets of Parties recognize that a competitive market is both
critical and necessary for continued technological innovation to benefit all
, especially early adopters...
NOW, THEREFORE, the Parties agree to abide by the agreements herein,
enumerated in the terms of the articles set forth below:
ARTICLE 1
Apple Fanboys agree not to keep bringing up the August 2012 $1 billion
patent verdict against Samsung as a way of trying to squelch any
disagreement over who may have copied what, recognizing that the case
covered a limited scope of features. Samsung Fanboys will similarly cease
efforts to end all arguments by discussing "Open" versus "Closed" platforms,
accepting that there are numerous advantages and disadvantages to each.
ARTICLE 2
Apple Fanboys won't list how many apps are available for iOS (more than 700,
000, since the treaty brought it up) on every message board about app
development while Samsung Fanboys will minimize cross-Party discussion of
expandable SD-card memory, replaceable batteries, screen size, NFC
technology or how Android's notifications are still way better than Apple's,
even after Notification Center was added to iOS and Mac OS X.
ARTICLE 3
Both Parties will agree that Widgets, often touted as a selling point by
Samsung Fanboys, are actually kinda dumb, but then so is Apple's "Podcast"
app, which is just absolutely the worst. Apple Fanboys acknowledge that
Animated Wallpaper would be a nice feature to have while Samsung Fanboys
admit that late at night, they sometimes wake up screaming from nightmares
about product upgrade fragmentation across the Android platform.
ARTICLE 4
Apple Fanboys vow to stop taking the words of Steve Jobs (RIP) about going
thermonuclear on Google over Android as personal marching orders. Samsung
Fanboys agree to share some of the 50 Gigabytes of Dropbox storage that came
with their Galaxy S3 phone and to let Apple Fanboys play around with the
Swype keyboard feature whenever it is requested.
ARTICLE 5
Both Parties agree to a complete and immediate ban on mocking in the
following manner: Apple Fanboys will no longer pick up a Samsung Note device
and hold it up to their ear, shouting, "HELLO!? I THINK THIS PHONE IS TOO
BIG FOR MY FACE!" Samsung Fanboys likewise agree to stop posting images
online of people holding up iPads to take photos, superimposed with the word
"FAIL" on the image.
ARTICLE 6
Samsung Fanboys agree to immediately boycott and disown television
commercials making fun of Apple customers standing in line. Apple Fanboys,
in exchange, promise to stop treating iPhone and iPad launch days like a
national holiday or, Steve Jobs forbid, like the Woodstock of their
generation.
ARTICLE 7
The oath to be taken by both Apple and Samsung Fanboys upon ratification of
this peace treaty shall be in the following form: "I ....... do solemnly
swear allegiance to all sleek, cutting-edge, full-featured mobile devices,
be they made by Apple or by manufacturers of Android-based products. Should
I feel the need to criticize, boast by comparison or complain about a
product that rivals the one I own and use, such Internet-based venom will be
directed at a third-party target [namely Windows mobile or, ha ha,
BlackBerry users. LAME.]."
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the respective Parties sign this Treaty by digital
signature or QR Code, then Tweet a link for all to see.
BY AGREEMENT OF BOTH PARTIES, war between Apple and Samsung Fanboys is
declared to have terminated October, 2012. |
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