p*****0
发帖数: 3104 | 1 【 以下文字转载自 Joke 讨论区 】
发信人: wildThing (东风起兮轰他娘, 安得巨浪兮吞扶桑), 信区: Joke
标 题: fresh joke from FML
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Jul 12 11:51:02 2010, 美东)
copied from fml.com
"Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to
use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle
and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle
beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML" |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 3 credit score: 540
18 dollars in my pocket, 35 dollar in the bank.
400 minimum payment coming due, probably gonna miss them this month, yet
again screw my credit score.
fml, fml, fml..... |
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m**k
发帖数: 1008 | 4 症状:
1.
发信人: fml (123), 信区: DC
标 题: fml同学，明知故犯，罚你面壁思过
2.
发信人: fml (123), 信区: DC
好吧
面壁中。。。
确诊:
50%多重人格, 50%角色扮演. |
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w*******g
发帖数: 9932 | 5 sextingkitty69 says FML
Today, I was at my mom's house and I was sitting on my bed with my vibrator.
My mom walks in and asks me if I wanted dinner, I said no. Then she asked
me if I needed batteries. FML |
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w*******g
发帖数: 9932 | 6 copied from fml.com
"Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to
use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle
and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle
beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML" |
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w*******g
发帖数: 9932 | 7 This is copied from FML
"Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I kissed her and promised
her I would support her. She replied 'Great, so do you want me to introduce
you to the father?' FML" |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 8 出去踩了一圈脚踏车回来。偷了我妹在bj's买的一箱m&m想用巧克力把自己腻死，吃了
两包被发现了，没死成。
满口袋只有21块了。银行没钱，看了看手机，又有5个missed call和两个voicemail,还
是银行讨债的。
fml. aint no joke. fml, big time |
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d**j
发帖数: 23329 | 9 [email protected]
Subject: Microsoft Surface Pro 4 FML-00001 + zipcode
BBSID: xxxxx，
数量:
总金额: (加计算公式)
收款方式：Billpay(银行名+信用卡号码+姓名), or check
电话号码： (xxx)xxx-xxxx
state + zip: |
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d**j
发帖数: 23329 | 10 [email protected]
Subject: Microsoft Surface Pro 4 FML-00001 + zipcode
BBSID: xxxxx，
数量:
总金额: (加计算公式)
收款方式：Billpay(银行名+信用卡号码+姓名), or check
电话号码： (xxx)xxx-xxxx
state + zip: |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 11 There's actually a fmylife.com for FML story. |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 14 Gotta work, wage already paid and lost. Fml |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 15 got home, done for the wk, no money back, still owe 8 days of works. fml |
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f*l
发帖数: 592 | 16 1, 你的昵称、或者喜欢大家怎么称呼你？
[fml]
2, 简要描述自己：
[纯朴善良]
3, 兴趣爱好：
[爬树看星星，下河摸鱼虾]
4, 目前住的城市:
[MD, college park]
5, 生日星座血型:
[天蝎座]
6, 你的其它背景（籍贯、待过的城市；工作领域、单位；毕业学校、教育背景等）
[城市：北京, MD, etc]
7, 你对DC俱乐部的期待
[参加更多的活动、认识更多的朋友]
*******************************************
发钱啊发钱,请发钱 |
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z****i
发帖数: 5193 | 17 高core，你把fml同学的帖子篡改了害得她被别人说人格分裂，该怎么索赔啊。 |
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b****p
发帖数: 228 | 18 你可不能忽悠我呀～可是二婚送的礼少！fml 俺恨你！下手不带这么快的！zhaimi 你
难道就没看懂俺的一片情谊？？？555 |
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b****p
发帖数: 228 | 19 高core太不厚道了，哪里有劝人做小一说？凭什么俺做小啊？俺美丽与智慧相结合、英
雄与侠义的化身！fml做小吧，俺还要替zhaimi管钱呢！ |
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g*********5
发帖数: 1 | 22 虽然俺不是教徒，但是发生在俺身上的事情真的是一再验证了那句“上帝给你关上一扇
门的时候一定给你打开一扇窗”。一直潜水，今天收到绿卡，写写俺这15年操蛋的绿卡
之路。
15年前来美，两年后拿到个小硕士，虽然家里一直希望俺能读个博士，但是俺有自知之
明知道自己不是做学问的人，加上很轻松的拿到一个业界前五的公司offer（在当年老
板的international students里面第一个锁定当时看来相当好的offer），于是屁颠屁
颠搬去了大苹果。
但是，福兮祸所伏，lz所在行业不缺老美，刚上班又遇到911，严重打击了公司效益。
03年好不容易公司同意给出绿卡所需材料由lz自己出钱申请labor。当时没有PERM一说
，LZ所在的大苹果又拜克林顿大赦非法移民所赐Labor申请严重积压，基本上当时排期
要两年（—好像只有纽约当时是那样，同事在Chicago office两个月就搞定）。刚递交
上去公司开始裁员，前两次lz侥幸躲过。期间lz开始努力换工作，但是前面说了这行愿
意干的老美多得是（lz当时是公司唯一一个需要sponsor的），加上经济危机，所以越
来越少的公司愿意sponsor，终... 阅读全帖 |
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T*P
发帖数: 2697 | 23 赞苦尽甘来！建议多加一些timeline,否则没有清晰的时间感，比如倒数第二段。
虽然俺不是教徒，但是发生在俺身上的事情真的是一再验证了那句“上帝给你关上一扇
门的时候一定给你打开一扇窗”。一直潜水，今天收到绿卡，写写俺这15年操蛋的绿卡
之路。
15年前来美，两年后拿到个小硕士，虽然家里一直希望俺能读个博士，但是俺有自知之
明知道自己不是做学问的人，加上很轻松的拿到一个业界前五的公司offer（在当年老
板的international students里面第一个锁定当时看来相当好的offer），于是屁颠屁
颠搬去了大苹果。
但是，福兮祸所伏，lz所在行业不缺老美，刚上班又遇到911，严重打击了公司效益。
03年好不容易公司同意给出绿卡所需材料由lz自己出钱申请labor。当时没有PERM一说
，LZ所在的大苹果又拜克林顿大赦非法移民所赐Labor申请严重积压，基本上当时排期
要两年（—好像只有纽约当时是那样，同事在Chicago office两个月就搞定）。刚递交
上去公司开始裁员，前两次lz侥幸躲过。期间lz开始努力换工作，但是前面说了这行愿
意干的老美多得是（lz当时是公司唯一... 阅读全帖 |
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W*******g
发帖数: 164 | 25 你这个问题还真不是一两句话能说清楚的, 但我愿意试着答一答:
一般说来, 好的location是和好的学区/高中挂钩的(相对), 但不等于好的location一
定是好的学区/高中(绝对).
举个例子说明比较清楚, （相对）的上一条是明显的, 我就不举了. （绝对）的这一条
可以这样看:
Sandy Springs (City), GA 可以算是好的location, 很多老美都喜欢, 那里有很多百
万豪宅.（不好怎么会有那么多的豪宅?）
我刚查了一下(5/14/2013), 有89栋房产在 FMLS 上 Listing, Listing的Price 从 $
265,000 (FMLS#: 5130427) 到 $5,750,000 (FMLS#: 5135627)
上百万的豪宅就有23栋, 50万到99万有32栋, 30万到49万有31栋, 最低价$265,000 到
29万有3栋.
这89栋房产的高中只是两所: Riverwood High and North Springs High．
你能说因为Sandy Springs 没有Top 10 的High Schools 就不算好的... 阅读全帖 |
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发帖数: 1 | 26 最近开会，大老板对我非常挑剔，可能要pip我。我直接老板对我的yearend review很
好，但他归大老板管，这两个月我感觉我老板也开始有意挑刺，也间接给了我暗示。
我现在请假在家，准备再请3个月FML找工作。 请问如果fml不批怎么办？还在用h1b,
怎么拖得越长越好？ 可以给global hr 反映吗？ 如果fml批了，3个月不够，还能回去
上班拖吗？ 先谢谢大家了。， |
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f*****i
发帖数: 3558 | 27 这张图也太难看了
预产期前4周到真正的birth，pdl
birth后6周（v）或8周（c），pdl
然后6周pfml
然后6周unpaid fml（公司不足50个人不用给）
fml可以不连休。如果pfml连着pdl，可以pfml不用有一周waiting period
insurance给的都是partial pay，然后看公司政策。不少公司pdl的时候给补足100%。
fml木有补贴。具体问你们公司hr |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 28 didn't see no credit card in the mail today..... fml!
however, manage to gather around 100 bucks (40 from my long time idle paypal
acct, 25 from my pockets, about 30 something from an old school bag i use
during college, 10 bucks from my piggy saving box...)
deposited this 105 bucks, couple with about 20 something leftover in my
brokerage before, total around 130 bucks. bet the following
bought 11 spy 206 put expiring tomorrow @10 bucks each
现在手头只有
11spy 206 put tomorrow
58spy 200 put tomorrow
3... 阅读全帖 |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 29 好吧，其实我是硬撑，我知道明天的扑又死定了，下周那些也挺危险的，明天又要去打
工了，口袋里只有十八块和一张去打工的车票了，此时此刻，我想唱歌多过于祈祷，下
面这首歌就是我现在生活的写照，如果我的也能算是生活的话。
明月高樓匆匆秋老.今夕是何夕.
雨翻雲變老淚風吹.年華堪幾度.
fml, fml, fml |
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n*****w
发帖数: 1325 | 31 ☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Dower (Historian) 于 (Sun Oct 20 21:08:09 2013, 美东) 提到:
是不是《清水龙潭插竹竿》？我看youtube点击都好几百万
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
rodney (√) 于 (Sun Oct 20 21:50:36 2013, 美东) 提到:
若干年前看的一段要吐的歌舞，被这一个关键词给调出来了。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Tupac (fml) 于 (Sun Oct 20 23:53:42 2013, 美东) 提到:
两个婆娘一个郎
by awizam7 years ago4,379,936 views
只有周杰伦view更多有千万级别的，其他全部被秒，凤凰传奇都比不了
春哥过10万的都少
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
connecting (十寸金莲) 于 (S... 阅读全帖 |
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w***s
发帖数: 7132 | 32 有个网站：http://www.fmylife.com，是fuck my life的简称，也就是我们常说的【卧槽】，每件fuck事后面都跟着它的简称FML
这里摘录了一堆精华。不开心时看看别人是怎么不开心的，你就会开心多了
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
今天，我在邮箱里收到了我的护照。他们把我的生日搞错了。然后我找到了我一起送去申请护照的出生证明。结果我发现我的父母16年来一直在错误的一天给我过生日。FML
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I |
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y*s
发帖数: 2868 | 33 FML即 Fuck my life的缩写，直译的话就是“艹，我的生活烂透了……”
在你感到不舒心的时候去这里，你会顿时发现生活原来没有最倒霉，只有更倒霉。
看看这些老外有多倒霉。。
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was
wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed
my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
今天，我在上课的时候睡觉。我的JJ石更了，而且我穿的是很宽松的裤子。我的老师走
了过来一把抓住了我的JJ——她以为那是我手机。FML
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then
I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application |
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s**********h
发帖数: 1411 | 34 刚刚有个妹妹告诉我只要交了premium, status active了就可以用了，可是公司HR说要
service满
6个月才能用。下面是小米的回复。有经验的姐妹们给讲讲好吗？先谢了
If eligible, employees who are expecting to become parents may apply for
Family Medical Leave (FML), Short term disability (STD) and Parental Leave.
Generally, employees must have 1 year of service to be eligible for FML and
6
months of service to be eligible for STD benefits and Paid Parental Leave. |
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p**********6
发帖数: 365 | 35 这是我们公司的POLICY：
your maternity leave may be a combination of:
occasional illness
federal family and medical leave (FML)
state maternity , or state family medical leave or other state leave
short-term disability
personal leave (subject to department management approval)
Most of these programs run concurrently.
但FML，personal leave 是没有PAY的， short-term disability 只有前４周有１００
％PAY（据工龄），后２2周６０％PAY。 |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 36 Back and forth I betted about 1700 thus far. Everything Is gone. Now all
shit added up to worth only 250 bucks. Well. If it can crash 7 pct from here
by this weekend, then it would be quite bright. But this is hardly prayable
event. So I pray for a crash of 7 pct from here by next wkend to the
periphery of 1960. In that case I can have north of 8k. Would be fair enough
and my bet vindicated. If it crash 7 pct by the week after next, then I
probably would get bak what I bet. Shitty but acceptable... 阅读全帖 |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 37 Fk it, bet 300 more
Bought 25 qqq 115 put expiring next wk @ 11 bucks each
Now holding
12 qqq 115 10/7 put
28 qqq 116 10/7 put
28 qqq 117 10/7 put
33 qqq 115 10/14 put
after setting aside 400 bucks for bills of the month, only 100 bucks left in
the pocket now. and that will be for the month, which means no more than 25
bucks per week going forward for the next 4 wks. totally fml! fml! |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 38 Fk it, bet 300 more
Bought 25 qqq 115 put expiring next wk @ 11 bucks each
Now holding
12 qqq 115 10/7 put
28 qqq 116 10/7 put
28 qqq 117 10/7 put
33 qqq 115 10/14 put
after setting aside 400 bucks for bills of the month, only 100 bucks left in
the pocket now. and that will be for the month, which means no more than 25
bucks per week going forward for the next 4 wks. totally fml! fml! |
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a*l
发帖数: 1915 | 40 This is an agent from my office. Eric.
Below is his contact info,
Good luck.
This is a very qualified Buyer Pool with 12 million in cash ready to buy
your Tradtional or Short Sale listing. -TODAY-
The idea property (not limited to) property
1700+ square feet,
Less than 15 years old
Neighborhoods with better-than-average schools and
NO Rental restrictions with HOA
Pre MLS / FMLS listing status preferred.
Short Sales will be considered.
Seller can picks a 30 -60 day closing period.
10 days contr... 阅读全帖 |
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w*******g
发帖数: 9932 | 41 copied from FML today
Today, we returned from our honeymoon and went to see my parents. I noticed
my dad had cut his hair really short so I said “Dad, what have you done to
your hair?” He looked at my husband standing next to me, then looked me in
the eye and said “What have you done to your life?” and walked away. FML |
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w*******g
发帖数: 9932 | 42 this is copied from FML:
Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years.
Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It
was a virus. FML |
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C******s
发帖数: 818 | 43 坦白地说，我有点大女人主义，时常在男友面前装成熟。昨天，与男友一同乘车，当时
我正在埋头翻
包包，售票员走过来卖票，对我男友云：到哪儿？是和这个小朋友一起的么？男友正纳
闷，我抬头一
看，售票员正关切的看着我！！下车后，男友阴笑不止，从此，他开始叫我~小朋友！~
~FML！
昨晚，与一外地网友见面、吃饭。小饭馆里，我很热情的向他介绍重庆的种种风味，突
然，想起了挺
特别的~折耳根，便推荐，遂答应尝试。叫来服务员，我很温柔的、彬彬有礼地说~小姐
，请来一份洁
尔阴..网友豁然状~FML！！！
上学的时候，早课经常买盒优酸乳去课堂喝，有次坐我旁边的一个女生也在喝优酸乳，
我就想起那句
广告词“你的有抑菌因子吗？”想用来搭讪，于是不经大脑的脱口而出：“你的有抑菌
精子吗？”----- |
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n***i
发帖数: 5479 | 44 烦请各位同仁查查看，糗百和fml这俩网站谁先出现的，出现后是否都是一直持续不断
地经营到现在。谢谢。
糗百：www.qiushibaike.com
fml：www.fmylife.com |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 45 got home, done for the wk. aint suppose to get pay for this wk, as they were
paid before. still, boss hand me a thousand bucks ck, which is payment for
next two wks work. so that i can deposit and gamble. fml.
basically, still owe boss two wks of work with the 1000 bucks on hand. fml. |
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p******e
发帖数: 17163 | 46 Done for the week. Heading home, got back 1000 bucks. Along with the days
owe before, still need to work 20 days to break even with the boss. Fml
Will bet 500 and pay bills with remaining 500. Fml |
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m*********k
发帖数: 10521 | 47 "[HongKong]
pricess2008 Dec 25. ● 【圣诞活动】包子祝福贴"
成功奖励 100 伪币的用户: qaz123, cheerbear, geon, yycc
成功奖励 180 伪币的用户: pricess2008, fml, cindy2010, littledevil, swineustc
, MW123, chace, aixin2009, coco2011, LeCiel, wh, nneeww, grace5, cc0000,
duoduofan, ylonglew, smlcoco01
成功奖励 20 伪币的用户: pricess2008, loveaddict, neworold, GreenSleeves,
qaz123, zkjeffrey, stunt, HYPS, diua, zhangbobo05, pingpongball, rainaway,
monkeyface, IED, fml, jenifer, weiwei10, nneeww, brave2012, NastyGirl, axh,
cheerbear, mahjong,... 阅读全帖 |
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p*********w
发帖数: 23432 | 48 技术帖：如何隐藏身份建立网站zz
from GFW Blog by GFW BLOG 功夫网
来源：http://blog.fivestone.info/?p=707
zuola: 妈的，我怎么这么蠢，居然忘了隐藏 truthcn.com 的whois信息导致被和
谐，我记不清是否用过privite whois服务了，失忆了，失策了.这次出事还好不需要坐
牢。 #TruthCN #FML
对这个级别的geek而言，确实是白痴级错误。我很久之前就说过，那些拥有自己域名的
人，其中超过一半在注册域名时填写的是真实信息，其姓名住址邮件电话，都可以在
who.is 轻松查到的。你们丫没有自露癖的话都快去改。。。
刚巧昨晚也想过这个问题：如果自建低俗网站，而又不想被抓去喝茶的话，如何在管理
网站的全过程中，不暴露自己的身份？整理了一下，大家补充。
0.1、首先确保你的电脑是干净的，不要有任何病毒、木马、绿坝、QQ、360安全卫士…
…等等疑似可能会监控你的电脑从而泄露安全信息的软件。对多数非专业用户而言，做
到这一点可能比下面所有的加起来都难。但电脑安全方面的知识不是本文的主要话题。
0... 阅读全帖 |
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m*******4
发帖数: 884 | 49 早上被室友的爸爸从北京来电话吵醒说第三次世界大战要开始了于是出去大厅看电视。
看了不到10分钟马上给学校打电话问今天的课是不是取消了结果告知没有FML！接着9点
钟去上课殊不知上了才一堂课学校大喇叭就说今天课程全部取消！yeah！于是马上电话
叫了一帮朋友去SF downtown饮茶结果downtown周围封锁了！TNND 结果要绕路去我们爱
吃的那家翠亨村喝茶喝了2个小时。跟着去剪了个头。 |
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发帖数: 2330 | 50 ☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
andysun (nn) 于 (Sat Jul 28 06:24:38 2012, 美东) 提到:
新浪体育讯 北京时间7月28日下午，伦敦奥运会射击比赛结束了女子十米气步枪决赛
的争夺，中国名将易思玲10万以502.9环的成绩获得金牌，这也是本届奥运会的首枚金
牌，新秀喻丹9万以501.5环获得铜牌。波兰选手波加茨卡以502.2环的成绩获得银牌。
在预赛中，波兰的波加茨卡和中国的易思玲均打出399环的成绩分列前两位，俄罗
斯的维多维娜和中国选手喻丹均打出398环的成绩分列第三、第四位。列在5-8名的四名
选手成绩均为397环，分别是伊朗的阿哈马迪、美国的加雷伊和舍勒尔、捷克名将埃蒙
斯，其中埃蒙斯是上届该项目金牌得主，预赛的成绩带入决赛。
易思玲第一枪打出10.8 环，喻丹打出10.1环，波加茨卡和维多维娜分别打出10.8
环和10.5 环。第二发易思玲打出10.0环，而喻丹打出10.7环，波加茨卡打出10.3环、
维多维娜打出9.5环。两枪过后易思玲排在第二位，喻丹排在三位，排在首位的是波加
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